Welcome to our monthly advice column: Ask and you shall receive answers from our tarot Agony Aunt.
Navigating life, love, career and everything else is hard. Sometimes you just need a listening ear and a little guidance. Enter: Ask the Oracle, where cosmic guide and life coach Kelly Lightworker helps you get answers to love, luck, money, success, and living your best life. Simply fill out this form and our tarot Agony Aunt will pick three questions to answer at the start of each month (don’t worry, you can use pseudonyms for privacy and choose to be anonymous). We look forward to hearing from you!
Card of the month: Four of Wands, Reversed
September heralds the lull before the storm: the Universe isn’t exactly speeding down the expressway yet, but Her gears are grinding, and things are falling into place for future developments. A partial lunar eclipse in Pisces during the early hours of Wednesday, 18 September begins the final eclipse season of the year. Eclipses act as a sort of cosmic reset button, shaking things up and starting (as well as ending) cycles of growth and opportunity.
This month’s Tarot card reflects our collective sense of anticipation with the reversed Four of Wands. When this card appears, there could be a lack of structure or stability in a situation you’re facing. This is a good time to build strong foundations where they’re lacking. Some of us could be experiencing conflict and tension at home; don’t be too surprised if events or celebrations are cancelled abruptly. A house move, renovation, or repairs could meet with unexpected developments.
In response, some of us might feel isolated – this could lead to attempts at reaching out and reconnecting, or it could result in bed rotting and becoming a recluse. Do what’s right for you – don’t overthink or overfeel – and know that things will fall into place when the time is right.
This month’s affirmation: I build myself up in love and integrity.
This month’s song: ‘Believer’ by Imagine Dragons
A note before we proceed with the questions: I offer special services for people who are facing situations that they find impossible to overcome. If you think you could be a match, email me at [email protected] and let’s see how I can assist you. Now read on, my loves!
Ask the Oracle: September edition
Hi Kelly,
I am dealing with an individual at my workplace that has made my work life extremely challenging. She is cunning and manipulative, and as a result, it has made me question my capabilities and even contemplate changing jobs. How can I navigate this situation with the individual?
Thank you,
PG
My darling PG!
I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through at work. Your first card already tells me all I need to know about this individual you’re dealing with – and wow, she is a piece of work. This is an aggressively political person: someone who must win in every way, and who will not hesitate to play dirty and/or cause harm to others around her if it means that she can achieve her goals. Unfortunately, there’s no easy way to navigate or even negotiate anything with this person. Your cards advise you to pick your battles very, very carefully whenever she is involved. Stand firm for your rights when you have company policy or established precedents to back you up; otherwise, walk away with your head held high.
Take no risks with this person: anything you say or do, or fail to do, can and will be used against you when she feels that it’s necessary. Double-check all correspondence with her and make sure you don’t say anything that can be wilfully misinterpreted to sabotage you. Meanwhile, work on strengthening your ties with other colleagues: build both your professional repute as well as a safety net of supportive work allies.
This can help with your situation at work; also, it will stand you in good stead when you leave. Yup, you read that right. You’re not leaving immediately – there’s a gap of at least one year before you will revisit this question – but it appears that conducive conditions could be coming together at some point in the future, and you could be moving on. May the rocks your enemies hurl at you become your stepping stones to greatness. I wish you success.
K xoxo
Hi Kelly,
I’m 37 years old. I’ve been single all my life. I’m very sure I want to look for a serious relationship. However, I can’t seem to know what to look for. I want to know whether will I end up being alone, if not, what effort can I make. What should I do to make the things different? How do I know if the person appears and he will be the right one?
Dear XC,
I support your desire to have a serious relationship, and I wish you the very best outcomes in your search. Your cards indicate that there are certain points that you need to consider before a successful relationship can be yours. First, as you mentioned, you are not sure that you know what exactly to look for. This lack of conviction, as well as a tendency to lose focus due to all the noise and different opinions about relationships buzzing everywhere around you, makes it challenging for you to gain clarity about the kind of person who’s compatible with you and how to find this special soul.
The second set of points you might want to consider seems to lie in your tendency to rely greatly on your imagination, but not to move out of your comfort zone. You can easily visualise how happy and fulfilled you will feel in a relationship, but you have yet to give enough thought and energy to the practical ways that you can make this happen. There’s also the matter of you not actually wanting things to change: one of your cards indicates that you enjoy your life the way it is now and that you might be resistant to disruptions.
My dear, a new life partner will be a MAJOR disruption to your life. So what will you choose? Stability within your comfort zone, or the inevitable disruption that comes once you ramp up your dating life to search for The One? Ultimately, once you decide on what you want and what you’re willing to do to achieve this, your energies for love and relationships can also evolve and possibly welcome a partner into your life. Until then, there’s a chance that you will continue to stay in limbo as you are doing right now. Either way, the potential for happiness is still right here for you. So do not worry about future possibilities, but make the practical, right here-right-now choices that give you joy.
I wish you happiness and love.
K xoxo
Hi Kelly,
I’m a freelance creative. What can I do to feel confident in the work I have done because I often feel anxious about delivering good work to my clients?
My dear Anna,
Your cards have furnished some extra details about your situation that are contributing to the anxiety you currently experience. The first card indicates issues either with timing/planning and workload: you’re experiencing a change either in the amount or the nature of the creative works you’ve been tasked to do, and this is stressing you out. Besides the workload and scheduling issues, it also appears that you struggle with certain agents, bosses or clients who don’t respect professional boundaries. Be careful whom you choose to work with, and stay both firm and consistent with your own professional principles. Financial considerations have also led you to make certain professional decisions that, in themselves, create anxiety (for instance, choosing to take on more jobs even when you are already busy). At the end of the day, you are the person in the best position to decide how you will balance financial stability with mental wellness.
To stay on top of things, remember to keep up with your passion projects! Never lose the love for your art that brought you into this field in the first place. So long as that flame burns strong, you’ll find the resilience within you to overcome your challenges at work. Another thing the Tarot recommends is that you pick up a related skill: your final card speaks of learning something new that will enhance your creative powers and take your work to a higher level.
I wish you success, prosperity and peace.
K xoxo
Ask the Oracle: August edition
Dear Kelly,
I have no idea what I want to do in terms of my career. I am currently employed but thought of changing jobs for a higher salary. But I’m also afraid that I’ll be unable to handle the stress in a new environment and might need to manage office politics. But before even applying for any jobs, I actually have no drive for anything and don’t feel like working at all. My past career experiences, including incidents of mistreatment and seeing people’s true colours in the workplace, have led me to prioritise work less. This is to protect myself from taking things personally and getting hurt mentally and emotionally. I am also still hesitating if I should start a home based food business as well. Because at the end of the day we still need money to survive. How can I be more driven again and get back on track in my career?
Hello PF,
You’ve been through challenging incidents at the workplace that have caused you distress, and that have led you to withdraw from career-related matters (including your own aspirations) as a way to defend yourself from further hurt. While this might have worked in the short run, and I fully support your right to feel safe at work, you are beginning to realise that avoiding the source of your distress isn’t likely to work well for you in the long run. I’m glad that you’ve chosen to confront this challenge, and your cards indicate that you can find your mojo again once you take certain steps. Your first card indicates issues with teamwork: while we can’t completely control whom we get to work with, we can choose to approach our teammates and work in a way where we get to achieve our goals, and we also get along with others.
This card encourages you to start conducting research and practising tips on how to deal with different kinds of people in the workplace. The good thing is that your challenge is universal – practically everyone has had issues with a teammate at one point – so the number of websites, books, and coaching courses out there to help you with this matter is tremendous. You’ll definitely be able to find the resources that you need to get you started. Once you’re better equipped with the right skills to handle stress and manage people, you’ll feel empowered and ready to take your career to another level.
The rest of your cards indicate that you will benefit when you strike a balance between self-care and self-control. Be kind to yourself, but also take back your power. Consciously move away from any perspective that tempts you into thinking you’re a victim of the Universe. Oh, no, no, no – my darling, your cards reveal that you have a deep and hidden strength in your soul. Once you take back your power, learn the right techniques to excel at work, and develop greater resilience, you could be a force to be reckoned with. Release self-limiting beliefs. Know that you have the power to drive yourself to greater heights in your career. You can do it.
K xoxo
Dear Kelly,
I got out of a relationship a year ago after I found out my partner cheated through a stranger via social media. While I am thankful that it was revealed to me sooner rather than later, I can’t help but feel anxious and worried about finding the right match as I’m approaching my 30s. Since then, I have dated several guys through online dating apps and friends of friends, but never seem to find someone with whom I can truly connect beyond surface interactions, or see as a potential long term partner. Work and other commitments do get in the way sometimes, both stemming from my date or myself. Right now, I’m working to achieve more balance and do want to settle down but I’m feeling jaded from constantly meeting new people. I wonder what I can do to improve my situation, and if I will ever meet The One. How would I know? Thank you very much.
My dear R,
It’s never easy getting back in the game when you’ve been off the market for a while. I applaud your courage and initiative in doing so, and I trust you understand the value you bring to all your relationships – your first card indicates that you are a wonderful, warm-hearted personality who has much to offer. Muster your self-confidence, set aside your worries, and go forth to seize the day. You have nothing to lose! Your cards indicate that you may be busy with your career, but invest that same level of effort into your dating prospects and you’ll eventually see results. Another card gently reminds you that you will benefit from letting your guard down a little and revealing glimpses of your gorgeous, authentic self to your dates. Those who align with your vibes will appreciate your energy and they’ll reciprocate. And that’s how you could get things going.
Getting to know dating prospects in today’s world is a little like playing poker: everyone puts their poker face on, and every move is strategic rather than heart-felt. Unfortunately, this approach is what causes many new and potential relationships to fizzle out. Dare to be (a little) different, and see who follows your cue. There’s hope for you and romance. Don’t give up!
Play the game like you have nothing to lose, and you could win it all.
K xoxo
Dear Kelly,
I am happily married. Yet somehow I started to feel a strong attraction to a stranger I met on the bus. I knew it was wrong and was always consumed in guilt whenever I looked forward to taking the bus to work. And yes, he is also giving me the same strong mutual attraction. What should I do?
Darling A,
Why must temptation feel so good? And why does it fly in the face of what we know to be good, right and true for us? Such is life. But you are well aware that moving forward with this, delicious as it seems, could cause a lot of damage – hence your guilt and confusion. What does the Tarot say about this stranger? Well, your cards indicate that he could be a player, a charming f-boy who enjoys the chase but might not stay long once he’s hunted down his quarry. Conversely, you have a card that reveals your husband to be a straightforward and career-oriented personality, someone you trust. This card usually indicates a gentleman who has hidden depths of sexiness within him – but unlike the stranger on the bus, your husband is willing and able to commit to building a life with you. What to do?
The Tarot suggests that you begin to explore your fantasies. What is it about this situation on the bus, this person, that triggers your feelings of arousal and attraction? How would you like to explore these desires in the bedroom and what role(s) would you like hubby to play? Talk to hubby! Invite him to share his fantasies. Then get down. Get dirty, be explicit; tease, taste and touch. What do you want to bring into playtime with hubby? Food, toys, lingerie or kinky stuff? Do it.
The facts of the matter are clear: you want your happy marriage to last. Life is too precious to waste on feeling guilty or playing risky games with strangers. Plenty of hot sex with hubby could help dim the lustre of Stranger on Bus. Aim for at least one screaming orgasm before you board the bus each day, and you might even lose interest in him over time. Want to play very safe? Take another bus. Have fun!
K xoxo
Ask the Oracle: July edition
Dear Kelly,
A few years back, I had a situation where my oldest son started going through some unexplainable chaos. My husband and I tried to help or understand but to no avail. Then he got involved with a girl who did not like us, but we could never understand her reason for disliking us. Fast forward, they got married. She didn’t want us at the wedding but didn’t tell us until six months later after a terrible event at the wedding occurred. The whole nightmare could’ve been avoided if my son had been able to answer the questions I asked previously.
No amount of apology or attempt to rectify my part in the situation has opened up any lines of communication. I wonder, after so many years have passed, if reconciliation is ever possible. I maintain the mantra that if his life is easier and happier without me, my husband, and his brother in it, I wish him all the best and will always love him. I’m unsure what else to do and will not intrude into his life until he gives me permission to do so.
My dearest Melissa,
As a mother myself, my heart breaks for you. I am very sorry to read about your predicament. Your cards indicate that your son has always been an emotionally sensitive person, and tends to react to difficulties by withdrawing into himself and ‘shutting down’, avoiding communication and ending relationships that (he believes) are hurting him.
Along the way, he met someone whom he felt was a soulmate, someone who finally understood and accepted him. He then married her, and it appears that she supports his emotionally charged decisions. Right now it’s just him and her, a team of two, against the world – and, for now, this includes his own family members.
Despite your anguish, you have acted in unconditional love and true wisdom by stepping back from your son’s life. You did the right thing. Now, understand that you are unlikely to see him for a while – at least, not only another cycle in his life ends, and in an apparently negative manner. When he is facing another low point in his life, he will think of you, and then there is a good chance that your son will return to the family.
For now, all the cards tell you is that your son will eventually reconcile with you. Your pain and suffering will finally end. You will heal, and all will be well. What the cards do not tell you is how long this will take, and under exactly what circumstances your son will return. I feel that this is an act of mercy: sometimes, we are not meant to know certain things for the moment.
What I encourage you to do is to pray. It doesn’t matter how you pray, to whom, or whether you even ‘pray’ at all in the traditional sense. By ‘pray’, I mean that you set your heart and mind on a reconciliation with your son. Pour your energy into this possibility – imagine how happy you will feel, and make this so real that you can feel your happiness flood your entire being. Then set your intention that this is real, this is going to happen and this is happening right now.
Wherever appropriate, ask your deities or even the Universe to support you in making this happen. Another thing you can do: every morning, bless your son. Visualise his face; send him love, success, healing, and every good thing. In the spiritual realm, it makes a huge difference whether a mother’s prayers are released or withheld. You will never regret the choice to send your son love and blessings. Do this every morning and believe that one day, your love will bring him home. I wish you love, healing, and reconciliation with loved ones.
K xoxo
Dear Kelly,
Lately, I’ve been feeling very out of place. I feel like something is not right with me and that the worst in my life is yet to come. I don’t know if I’m overthinking things or if my gut feelings are indeed true.
Everything in my life keeps collapsing and I keep trying to rebuild them only to have them collapse again. I’m so tired, broken and feeling so hopeless. What is wrong? How long is this going to last?
Hello, my dear Li,
Your cards indicate that there might be something happening in the background of your life that is causing a certain amount of chaos. However, there’s a card here which shows you blindfolded, and therefore you might not be entirely aware of what is going on that has brought you to this point.
This is a complicated situation because it shows that more people are involved in this than you think. You have cards representing people who are keeping tabs on your progress, and people who seem to be bearing petty grudges against you. As a result of all these people, your feelings, and the seemingly unavoidable volatility of recent life events, your cards indicate that you are distressed and under great pressure.
Do consider consulting a counsellor to help you clarify your thoughts and process your emotions: Honeycombers offers several lists and reviews of professionals in Singapore who can assist. Looking ahead, your cards indicate that this challenging season could continue for a while longer. It appears that you might need help dealing with the negativity you are facing – and this negativity isn’t only the distress you feel, but also the negative energies, thoughts and emotions that appear to be directed at you from external sources. I wish you the very best and hope that you will be able to break through this rut. However, if things don’t get better in the next five months and you need further assistance, drop me an email at [email protected].
Take good care, my dear.
K xoxo
Dear Kelly,
I’ve been single for 30 years already, and I wonder when will I meet the one for me. People always say to be patient and let nature take its course. Been on dates and all, but it seems to be just going in circles. What does the universe want me to know about my love life?
Darling S,
Multiple cards in your reading indicate a happy ever after for you: you will eventually meet The One, establish a committed long term relationship, and experience deep emotional fulfilment. So I’m not worried for you at all on that account! Nevertheless, it can be stressful and frustrating to go on dates that fizzle out after the first hello and drag on to nowhere. Your cards encourage you to consider creative date and meetup ideas.
Perhaps something more activity-oriented, so you can spare yourself the torment of small talk? There’s plenty of bonding that can happen when you’re both doing something interesting, or working on projects to meet shared goals. Honeycombers has a treasure trove of fun activities to do, see and explore in Singapore – pick out a few options and you’ll never have to dread planning a boring date again! (Plus, if your prospective date doesn’t seem too keen on your suggested activities, that’s your sign to move on. Time, money and energy saved!)
Your cards encourage you not to give up, and remind you that you will receive your rewards for the effort that you put in to achieve your objectives. Keep at it, and you will win. You have the Wheel of Fortune in your spread: Lady Luck is on your side as long as you persevere, and victory will come after a season of challenges. I’m not seeing much in the way of timing, so it’s likely that how soon you’ll meet viable partners depends a lot on when you start implementing creative dating solutions. So yes, you will find love. Remember to have fun along the way!
K xoxo
Ask the Oracle: June edition
Dear Kelly, I am married and have a reasonably happy and healthy relationship. Other than occasional bickers, we generally get along fine. However, even though we’ve been married for about eight months and have been on at least seven overseas travels over our relationship, the physical level of intimacy between us is at the bare minimum. It is my desire to have kids but I am not sure how to improve our physical relationship. Can you advise me on how we can make healthy progress in our relationship?
Dear GK,
I’m glad that your marriage is reasonably happy and that you’re looking forward to enhancing your bond with your spouse. At this point in time, it does look like you both enjoy a healthy give-and-take, as well as a close and amicable dynamic. However, I do agree with you as your cards aren’t indicating a level of physical intimacy that I would like to see in a newlywed couple, especially if you are hoping for children. When this sort of reading appears, it can represent a discrepancy in sex drives. Certain cards also seem to indicate some concern over the impact of children on careers, personal freedom, etc.
It goes without saying that the cards indicate at least one of you is busy and thriving at work, so that’s a blessing in itself! This is an issue where you both will benefit from an open conversation about what you’d like to enjoy in the bedroom, as well as your plans for children and whether these plans can align. The earlier this conversation can happen, the better. The cards urge you to work on communicating and aligning your dreams together in the coming year because if this issue is not addressed, this marriage might endure a rather rocky patch in four to five years when resentment grows over unresolved challenges.
I wish you a marriage that is blessed and happy in every way.
K xoxo
Dear Kelly,
I have been separated from my partner now for nearly seven years, and we have had no communication for that time. Is it likely she will ask me to return to her? I’m still very much in love with her.
Dear Roger,
Your person must have been a very, very wonderful human being for you to love her so much and for so long. I am sure you both had many loving memories of your time together, and that your separation was necessary. Based on your cards, it appears that your person is not likely to ask you to return. Over the time that you have been apart, it appears that she has made up her mind about certain things, and one of them appears to be a decision about setting strong interpersonal boundaries, as well as cutting ties with people who do not align with her principles any longer. There’s nothing wrong with perhaps reaching out to reconnect with her, but this is not likely to end in the way that you desire. The cards also indicate a possibility that she has moved on from you completely. Even if you do reconnect with her successfully, understand that you both are now very different people, and in many ways you will need to start all over again.
Your cards encourage you to start afresh, find new love, and achieve your happy ever after with the lessons you’ve learnt from your previous relationship.
I wish you happiness in love, whichever way you find it.
K xoxo
Dear Kelly,
I want to ask about this weirdo colleague in my office. I just joined this place not long ago and have mostly kept to myself as I am still adjusting. One day, this random colleague from another department chatted with me out of the blue to ask about my work, past work experience and family. I answered as diplomatically as I could and left. I did exchange numbers thinking it might come in handy should I need his help. This turned out to be the biggest mistake ever! Since then, he has been texting me non-stop, even after working hours. He even waits for me to end work so that we can go back together. I do OT but he insists on staying back even though I declined. He literally waited for four hours!
I tried to explain that I prefer to keep a distance in the office for obvious reasons but he says he feels very attached to me and very happy to be around me. He says he feels good with me but we’ve only been talking for three days. I merely reply to his questions as diplomatically as I can. To me, I’m at work to work. I am not interested in an office romance. Friendship is alright but I feel this guy wants more. What’s even worse is that he is married.
Honestly, I don’t know if I am reading too much into this situation. What are his true intentions? How do I handle this? He is also an old and valuable staff for the company as he has been there for 15 years. I really don’t think that being in his bad books is a good idea either. Save me from this weirdo, Kelly.
My darling Shei,
I’m so sorry to read of your predicament. You’re being harassed at the workplace by someone who’s making use of his long service record (and, I’m assuming, a more-or-less positive reputation) to take advantage of you. Agh! Your cards indicate that this person is in a bad place in his life right now. Things in his life seem unbalanced, and there appears to be some unhappiness at home. I suspect he’s using you as a sort of distraction from the personal problems he’s facing. It appears that you’ve been selected because you’re new, young, and isolated (the cards also indicate that you’ve been keeping to yourself, and therefore he presumes you won’t tell on him). And that’s where you can save yourself from this difficult situation: because you can tell on him.
Save all your communications with him, speak to your manager(s) about this, and use this person’s nonstop texts to you as proof that you’re being harassed. Your cards indicate that you will be heard. This is the good news. Now, the not-so-good news. There is a chance that this entire incident could impact your prospects in this organisation. Your cards indicate a murky path ahead, and the possibility of being overlooked for rewards, promotions etc.
Is this your fault at all? No. But this organisation isn’t the best at dealing with workplace harassment, unfortunately. Your cards also indicate that you’re not too keen on escalating this too far (the more belligerent types might consider calling the Ministry of Manpower or TAFEP to report workplace harassment), but do bear in mind that you’ve been dragged into a game where the odds are definitely not in your favour.
As such, your cards do suggest that if nothing improves, you might want to consider moving on to a better workplace in about a year. Here’s a tip from a friend who’s been in a similar situation. She got her brother to call her harasser and pretend to be her (angry) boyfriend. It worked! The harasser backed down rather quickly. Your cards don’t mention this strategy specifically, but you do have a card called The Magician in your reading, so clear communication (and some trickery) might help get rid of your unwanted admirer.
I wish you liberation from this icky situation and a positive new cycle at work. All the best!
K xoxo
Ask the Oracle: May edition
Hi, Kelly. I’ve just broken up with my partner of seven years and I’m completely devastated. They said the problems between us were too insurmountable to fix and I’m a constant reminder of the mistakes they have made. And in order to heal, they said we would have to walk our separate ways.
I fought against it but realised that this might’ve been the best thing for both of us. While logically it makes more sense for us to break up (considering some of our fundamental life goals don’t align), I can’t help but feel this strange amount of confidence that we’ll get back together in the future. Am I being completely delusional?
Dear E,
I’m so sorry to hear of this breakup. You seem to have clarity on how this could be the best thing for you both, and I’m glad that you are seeing the positives in this otherwise very painful situation.
Let’s have a look at how things will pan out for the both of you in the future. Your cards seem to be advising that you focus not so much on whether you’ll get back together in the future, but rather that you focus on walking away. While this might feel utterly devastating for now, your cards encourage you to confront your fears with courage – you’ll find that whatever you feared wasn’t as terrifying as you’d thought, after all – and to channel your energies into your own healing.
In order for there to be a possibility of reconciliation or reunion, both parties in this situation need to work on themselves and also need to be open to this possibility. Your cards are indicating that one party in this situation is going to be very stubborn about not moving forward with a possible reconciliation.
At the end of the day, it’s best to focus on what you can control, rather than worry about what you can’t. You have been through the wringer with this breakup. It’s time to make yourself your top priority in your healing. You deserve happiness.
I wish you healing, love, and the light of truth.
K xoxo
Dear Kelly,
My childhood hasn’t been a healthy one. I grew up with my stepmom and dad. It was full of abuse, trauma and extreme violence. Even though I have somewhat grown up and out of it, the trauma remains in my bones like salt in the sea.
Out of all the questions that I have about my childhood, the most significant one is why? Why do my parents and step-parents hate me so much? What could I have possibly done (I was only three years old btw when my abuse started by my stepmom) to be on the receiving end of so much hatred and evil from them?
While I understand that it’s a stepmother’s thing to hate on their stepchild, how is it that my own biological parents hate me and tortured me too? Fast forward to decades later, karma is still pretty non-existent and they are living the best life ever with zero repercussions – which only fuels my anger as to how they got away with all that sh*t. Divine justice has truly failed me. Why? Why? Why?
My dear Hen,
There are no words adequate enough to comfort you after everything you’ve been through. My heart breaks to read this. I feel great compassion for you, and wish you a brighter future.
Your cards are interesting because they’re cluttered with so many personalities. The first card that popped up indicated a father who is mentally unbalanced, emotionally disconnected, and potentially abusive or violent. This is someone who makes impulsive or poor decisions, and as you’re well aware, like attracts like – he married two women who struggled with their own emotional and psychological issues. This was never going to end well, and in situations like these, the toxic power plays and misdirected negativity tend to manifest as abuse, especially against the most helpless members of the family: the children.
As for your cards: this is one of those readings where the Tarot doesn’t directly address your question, but still tells you what you need to know. What will eventually happen to your abusers is something that you may not be able to witness, and that might not even happen in this lifetime. What the Tarot advises you for now is this: break away from your past. Channel your energy into healing and rebuilding yourself, then getting up and walking away. Go no-contact with your family if this is a viable or desirable option for you.
The challenge right now is to eliminate your expectation that something must happen to your parental figures in order for you to be able to heal and move on: either they realise their wrongs and ask for your forgiveness, or they are somehow punished. That may happen in its own time. But all that you can control is yourself, right now. Take control of what you can, and work on your own restoration. You have lost many years to unnecessary suffering at your abusers’ hands. Don’t waste any more time waiting for something to happen in your favour. Right now, you are the only one who can make good things happen for yourself. Be brave and do it.
No one escapes karma. Let karmic forces work in their own way, at their own time. I wish you the power to restore your life, and to live it well. Living well is truly the best revenge.
K xoxo
Dear Kelly, I have been having a lot of issues finding true love for many years as I feel I want to be with someone who values me for who I am and with whom I can grow something organically. For the past seven to eight months, I have liked this colleague of mine and in a recent confession, I got to know that the colleague likes me too but isn’t ready to date anyone right now.
For the past few months, I have also embarked on a manifestation journey and believe it or not I had surrendered myself to the care of the universe. When I asked the universe for clear signs if this was the right partner for me, I got one. To be fair, I got the signs many times. The recent confession does make me question everything and I am extremely confused. Do you think this person will come back or will I ever find true love?
My dear M,
First, the not-so-good news: there’s a lot of information on the internet nowadays that isn’t actually useful, comprehensive or even accurate. One particularly popular topic of misleading information is manifestation. I’ve found many practitioners who teach this to be less than honest about the true nature of manifestation: they over-simplify many things or leave out the more challenging aspects, which often leads to confusion or disappointment in the people who trust them when things don’t work out as predicted. So be mindful of whatever you’re practicing.
Your cards are saying that your colleague is telling the truth: you may be ready for love, but they’re not. While there’s a chance that they might change their mind in the future, your cards are encouraging you to keep your options open. Avoid over-thinking this matter and causing yourself unnecessary distress.
You have one card here that advises you to be clear about what you desire, and to keep moving forward with pure and clear intent – but don’t worry so much about timing, or what form your desire will take. Who, or what, is meant for you will never go past you. Don’t put your life on pause because of this matter. Your life is worth so much more, and your potential for happiness and fulfilment is immense.
I wish you true love and all your desires fulfilled in the best way possible. P.S. Watch out for online ‘manifestation’ scams, and take their claims with a huge grain of salt.)
K xoxo
Ask the Oracle: April edition
Hi Kelly,
I went into a five-year relationship with my partner and lost close friends because my partner scolded one of them. I had to cut contact with another friend so that it would not complicate the relationship.
Now that I feel a relationship should not break a friendship, I’m seeking help on how may I get my close friends to forgive me and be on talking terms so that we can mend the five years that we are apart from each other. I don’t know what to do but I really miss my friends a lot.
Full disclosure: the person who sent me this enquiry ended up booking a Tarot reading with me before their question got published. However, I still choose to answer this question because this is a common relationship issue. I’ve seen this happen many times with many people. It never ends well.
Dear YT,
If you’ve been in a relationship for some time and your partner has played a role in cutting off most, if not all, of your social connections, the first thing you must understand is this: you must choose between your partner and your friends. Either your current romance or your social life must end. There is no room for compromise because your partner has proven that they will not allow it.
About your partner: you may be aware (or becoming aware) that you’ve settled for someone who’s deeply dysfunctional, who does not understand what love is, and who thinks that being controlling, possessive and volatile will ensure a good relationship. If you’re inexperienced in love, you might think at first how exciting it is to be with someone who loves you like this! But give it time, and you will suffocate. You will gradually resent yourself, your person, and the ties that bind you. Most of all, you will grow to realise that your person probably never loved or respected you. They only loved and respected what you could offer them.
All your partner can offer you is cheap, counterfeit happiness. They’re good at playing power games. They’re good at pretending they care about you. But if they really did, they would ensure that you stay connected with family, friends and other people who genuinely care about you.
So, what to do? If you’ve read this far, you already know: move on from this insecure partner. Detox from their pathological, false narratives that fooled you into thinking you need them to be happy. Look at yourself – you’re not. Make a clean break and go no-contact. Block them from any access to you, because believe me, they will try to return (and to punish you for asserting yourself).
As for your friends – I’ll share what I told this client at their reading. Not everyone will welcome you back. Some will forgive you, some won’t. It’s their prerogative how they want to respond to you. Understand that you also played a role in alienating your friends by prioritising a toxic, controlling love interest over good folks who really cared. Take responsibility, roll with the punches, and move on.
This is a hard lesson to learn in love and life, but it’s worthwhile if you escape an emotionally abusive relationship.
I wish you all happiness.
K xoxo
Dear Kelly, I’ve been looking for love for a long time but to no avail. I am well settled with my career and myself. I’ve put in the work to improve myself and yet, the men I meet are just into me for hookups and fun. I’m not that type of person nor do I want to be one. I was raised conservatively and am saving myself for the right guy.
Unfortunately, doing so has only led to a disappointing love life because none of the men I’ve met so far are willing to wait till marriage to explore such stuff. While I’m struggling to balance between my personal choice over this matter and the lack of emotional fulfilment, it’s led me to try to force myself to do things I don’t want to just because I am convinced that it’s the only way to find love at this point. Am I too conservative? Where do I even look for love at this point? I’ve tried the apps, through friends, travelled alone and almost did everything I possibly could to find my person. It just isn’t working.
Dear S,
It is never easy to be true to yourself and your values. For that, you have my love and respect. Your cards indicate your frustration and distress. I feel you. Compromise doesn’t feel right to you, yet you understand that the competition to find a partner is keen, and you feel that you’re running out of options. If you choose this route, I encourage you to make only the compromises that you can live with. At the end of the day, the only human being you really need to please – and to live with – is yourself. Make good choices, and don’t do anything that could cause you to lose sleep.
Interestingly, your cards show that your distress will end. There is some indication that you could eventually meet viable romantic prospects. However, your timeline seems to indicate that while you’re encouraged to keep looking for love, good prospects might take some time to arrive (we are looking at two years or more). Having said that, timing in the Tarot is always flexible because it depends on our choices, so if you stay positive and proactive, you’re likely to expedite this process.
You’ve done so well and come so far. The only thing left is to be patient and keep going. The universe is kind. Don’t fall for the lie that life must be easy or else something is wrong with us. Living a good life is about choosing which challenges we accept.
I wish you happiness, love, and the fortitude to stick with your challenges.
K xoxo
Hi Kelly,
I got to know someone last August and we clicked really well. However, he got into a dire situation with work and staying in Singapore so he wasn’t in the mindset to date. I stuck around to support him as a friend and eventually grew feelings for him. In the end, things got better on his end but he ended up wanting only to be my best friend. I’m feeling so jaded, as this isn’t the first time someone I have a love interest with wants to be my best friend only. What should I do, be his best friend?
Dear Ee,
I’m so sorry to hear of this – your cards indicate your exasperation at how unfair things seem to be. Having said that, your reading looks pretty positive to me. Let’s dive in.
Your cards indicate that while things aren’t quite working out the way you want them to right now, there is no harm in being friends with this person. You haven’t really lost anything; in fact, you’ve gained a great friend. True friends are a treasure! By all means, keep this friendship. You’ll find it to be a source of great joy.
As time goes by, your cards indicate that two possible outcomes could arise: either your friend will grow increasingly interested in you romantically, or other prospects will come. My darling, your reading is crowded with romantic prospects! You do have options. Stay open to what they could be.
Your final card is interesting: it indicates that if you and your friend had rushed into a relationship, it might have ended up disappointing you. Sometimes we find the right person at the wrong time. Sometimes we’re surrounded by great options only if we’re willing to look. Right now, you’re distressed at what you perceive to be an unfair situation, but who is to say that the full, gorgeous potential of your situation isn’t going to blossom in time if you just wait – and keep your heart open to what may come?
I wish you luck, love and the joy of infinite possibilities.
K xoxo
Ask the Oracle: March edition
Hi Kelly,
I have a huge crush on my boss, Mr R. He is gentle, capable and very intelligent. I think he did try to get to know me in the beginning but I was kind of uptight. But now, slowly, I’ve grown to like him a bit too much… oops! I think he is single but I’m not 100% sure. If he is, how do I approach him? And will this actually work out? Or am I just being super delulu about it?
Hello my dear W,
There’s no way around this so I’ll give you the truth with lots of love: the Tarot warns you against doing anything about this. Your first two cards strongly indicate that this is an unnecessary risk you’re taking, with potentially adverse long-term consequences if things take unexpected turns. Do not approach him as a romantic prospect.
Your boss, from what I’m seeing in the cards, is a great guy. R is calm, stable, a wise mentor… and not the sort of person who would rock the boat by conducting an office romance. Plus, there’s another card that shows him either to be in a committed relationship or in a mindset where he desires a committed relationship. Again, he is prudent about how, where, and with whom he’ll have one.
Instead, your cards encourage you to do this, focus on showing up and performing well at your work all day, every day. Become the rising star of your organisation, channel your energies into making yourself someone R would be proud of. Build a fulfilling work relationship with R based on mutual trust and respect. Establish a solid and healthy foundation with R, the way it’s meant to be done – as colleagues, not lovers – and let the situation develop from there.
Also, there’s nothing wrong with admiring how good R looks whenever he walks by. I’m just sayin’. Enjoy your crush, but make moves only on your career!
I wish you love and success.
K xoxo
Dear Kelly,
I am currently 23 and in a job that I am not sure is for me. I am good at what I do, but I do not feel appreciated or acknowledged. On top of that, my colleagues have a clique that they keep me out of. I have come to know that they do not really like me- which is not a concern because I’m not particularly fond of them either, and I only see them for work. I have received an offer for my dream job, but I don’t start till 5 months later. Work is okay, but it can get very overwhelming when the ostracising becomes evident (which is often). How do I keep my head up for the next few months?
My darling OC,
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re being ‘mean girled’ in your current job. Thankfully, you’re leaving soon enough, so hang in there. Your cards ask that you put aside your expectations of how your colleagues should behave since it’s now clear to you that they have no intention of being cordial or professional. Once you have zero expectations of petty people, it will be much harder for them to hurt or offend you (which, as you would probably have guessed, is their aim).
Looking ahead, your cards indicate that you’ll continue to feel victimised by their unfair treatment. You’ll continue to feel stuck, taken for granted and drained by their antics. But then you have cards showing that your time here, inevitably, will end. Your suffering will end and you’ll be much happier once this change occurs.
I do believe that you have (to some extent) the power to minimise, if not eliminate, the negative impact of this clique on your well-being. It will not be easy, but take this season as a really useful life lesson on how to cultivate inner equilibrium. Don’t let the bullies shake you up too much. Keep calm and carry on as well as you can. You’ll have to be the adult in this situation – of course, if they’re keeping you out of the loop, you have every right to ask for updates and re-insert yourself into the conversation. Unfortunately, no cards indicate that direct confrontation is going to help your cause, so don’t even bother.
You will outlast this. I wish you strength and perseverance. Hang in there – your dream job is just around the corner.
K xoxo
Dear Kelly,
I am currently dating this girl but she states she’s not ready for a long term commitment. However, she’s dropping small hints of moving forward at the same time. How do I move forward?
My dearest N,
“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” – Dr. Maya Angelou
Your cards indicate that you’ve been very patient thus far, but patience is not always a good thing when what you want is momentum. It could be time, soon enough, for you to have a proper talk with this young lady. You’ll need to ask for it, and be very direct about this – no beating around the bush, and certainly no making excuses for her ambiguous behaviour.
If she says she doesn’t want to talk, you’ve got your answer. If she says yes to a heart-to-heart convo, be prepared to let her know your intentions. According to the Tarot, you would like a committed, long-term relationship because you desire the safety and stability of such a bond. That’s a perfectly valid desire to have. Own it, and don’t let anyone gaslight you into thinking that maybe you’re wrong to want a relationship.
If she’s okay with a talk and with taking this connection to another level, great. If she won’t commit or starts making excuses to leave you hanging, get ready to move forward with your life. That’s not to say that you won’t give her a chance if she decides to come back – of course, you both can still be friends – but you’re not going to give her the gift of yourself if she still can’t decide whether or not she appreciates what you can offer.
You’ll notice I didn’t say anything about a breakup. Your cards didn’t mention one. It could be because your young lady enjoys playing around in the grey area between ‘just friends’ and ‘seeing each other exclusively’. There’s also a possibility that when you choose to move forward (notice I also didn’t say “move on” – again, because this connection is so ambiguous), she’ll come forward and try to rekindle your connection with her. At some point, you’ll need to let her know that you will not be playing games any more. You both need to be clear about what you want, and then move forward from there.
Your final outcome isn’t great – it shows you feeling out of sorts, off-balance, and still unsure about what to do. Unfortunately, this is the sort of situation where you will need to be ready for all possible outcomes before you can take this step. This will be entirely up to you.
I wish you strength, clarity, and the courage to achieve what you want.
K xoxo
Ask the Oracle: February edition
Dear Kelly,
I have been the subject of bullying. Somebody out there has been deliberately trying to antagonise me daily despite having no self-benefit to gain out of the actions, other than some joy from sadism. I have tried to seek external help to no avail. Not that others support such actions but rather, there is no system to counter such actions and simply put, there is minimal empathy from the people who can help. Can I seek some advice on how to stop the bullying?
Dear GK,
Your cards indicate that you’re currently stuck in a situation where people would prefer to maintain the status quo. There’s a whole vibe of ‘if we look the other way then this problem doesn’t exist’ going on here, and I can see how frustrated and lonely you must feel. It is this lack of systemic support that ultimately limits your options to resolve this challenge.
Your cards indicate three possible strategies to deal with the bullying. First, you’ve got a card that speaks of the need for self-assertion where necessary. Know your boundaries and stand up for them. For this, be prepared that things could get unpleasant, but at this point, you already have precious little else to lose. Your second strategy is to move away from this environment: request a transfer, discuss WFH options, start looking for a new position elsewhere … decide which move suits you best, and do it. Your third strategy is a sort of follow-up to the second: pick your battles wisely and keep as far away from your bully as possible.
Your card representing the final outcome speaks of a cause for celebration with friends who appreciate you. Life is too short to tolerate poor treatment in an environment that won’t help you. The Tarot suggests that you replant yourself, and flourish elsewhere.
I wish you happiness and freedom from bullies.
K xoxo
Hi Kelly,
I feel so unmotivated and dejected with life. For as long as I recall, life has been nothing but cruel to me. I have tried my best to pull through and overcome the adversities but they seem to be never ending. I need a break but I also know that at the moment, I can’t take one. My life is just as such… one step forward, 30 steps backwards. One problem finally resolves only to have another 10 more popping up unannounced. This never-ending misery has weighted my spirit down and I have very little to no hope for the future. Will my life ever reach a place of love, peace, stability, warmth and safety? Will the cavities of my heart that are filled to the brim with misery ever be replaced with anything happy? Is it even worth it for me to stay alive at this point? What does the future really hold for me?
Hello Kivs,
I am sorry to hear of your suffering. Let’s get the bad news out of the way first: your cards clearly indicate an urgent need for therapy or counselling. You would benefit from professional support while you regulate your moods and emotions, which have been severely affected by your circumstances. Your cards also indicate that you need to work on your communication and people management skills, as situations often pop up where you feel misunderstood but can’t seem to get your point across. You also have another card that indicates a deep pessimism, a sense of isolation, and a profound helplessness in the face of perceived misfortune. However, this card tends to appear often when part of the solution requires you to change your mindset towards things. So that’s a bit of good news: the fact that part of the solution is under your control.
The good news is that you have one very positive card that’s telling you to hang in there because your current struggles are creating the foundation for future strength and success. So fight the good fight now; run the whole race; keep the faith. You will look back on this one day and laugh.
Nevertheless, your cards still strongly recommend professional help to get you over the worst of the ruts you’re struggling with right now. Strong and smart people know when to get help. Do check out the Honeycombers website for counsellors and therapists who can meet a wide range of needs.
I wish you brighter days ahead. Yes, they’re coming.
K xoxo
Hi Kelly,
I had broken up with my partner two years ago and was extremely affected by it. I have no more confidence in having any other relationship, and I am even struggling to socialise now. I have always wanted to have a home of my own with my partner and kids. But now I’m quite lost and confused about what I want in life. Will I ever get married and have a happy family of my own? Or should I just work on myself and learn to be independent?
My dear 222,
I’m afraid you’ll need to help me understand where you’re coming from. Are you saying that so long as you can find a partner, you don’t need to work on being the most awesome version of yourself? That learning to be independent is only an option, and isn’t crucial to living your best life? Are you saying that you depend on a romantic relationship to fulfil your potential and not your own self?
I suppose my point is that you can, and should, focus on becoming the best that you can be – whether or not you end up with a partner. After all, wouldn’t you want to be the best version of yourself for your future partner? And wouldn’t it be in your best interests to be independent, whether or not a partner comes along? We can’t have you putting your life on pause for a possible future spouse, can we?
Your cards say that you have so much talent within you to nurture, and so much to offer this world. So open up, work on yourself, be independent, live your best life, and flourish with joy.
At the end of the day, you see, all these things are interlinked. When you develop yourself and fully mature into your true potential, your inner wisdom will grow; so too will your ability to make good choices. Your cards indicate that if you do not work on yourself – if you see yourself as lost, confused or helpless without a partner to guide you – then you will find another partner eventually. This person could really mess up your life, and unfortunately, it won’t be all their fault. Part of the responsibility will lie with you because you did not give yourself the opportunities to grow strong and wise, and to learn how to choose a good partner. Such is life.
Once you understand and embrace your responsibility to yourself and once you become the wonderful soul you are meant to be then you can and will attract a good partner to you. Otherwise, you’re either going to stay single or end up with someone who will make you wish you stayed single.
I wish you love, and the strength to love yourself first.
K xoxo
Ask the Oracle: January edition
Dear Kelly,
I was having panic attacks regarding one major project in university and needed to be on sleeping pills, and anti-depressants for weeks. I have finally stopped taking them after about a month, but I’m worried about the results of this project as it has a rather significant weightage on my GPA. What does the future hold for me?
Dear K,
Panic attacks can be debilitating. I’m glad you got help. What you did was very wise, and I am confident that with your courage and open-mindedness, you have what it takes to overcome your challenges and win in this situation.
Your first card, The Moon, speaks of a tendency towards intense moods and emotions: you’re sensitive to your surroundings as well. These qualities are gifts. They help make you the uniquely wonderful person you are. With some knowledge and experience of how to work with and manage your keen natural intuitive senses, you will do very well. You might want to try journaling your thoughts and emotions regularly – you have one card that shows you feeling more in control of things once you channel and articulate the energies in your being. Your persistent practice and patience will certainly pay off – don’t rush your healing.
There’s a patience card here, so you’ll benefit from giving yourself all the time and space you need. Looking ahead, you do have a card reminding you to adjust your expectations of the project. You did your best within the constraints you faced. Now, be proud of how far you’ve come. Love and accept yourself unconditionally. My darling, let me share this lovely secret that comes with age: in five years, you won’t care about this project. In ten years, you’ll barely even remember this project ever existed or gave you so much pain. That’s because life will go on, and so will you. You will outlast this season of deep anxiety. You will win. You’re not feeling it right now, but trust me – you will overcome.
Now stand in your power and believe that both your healing and victory are inevitable. That’s what the cards are saying. Moving forward, learn to adapt to circumstances. Know when to hold fast and when to let go. The Universe is very kind to people who don’t take life too seriously. Your cards in the outcome position indicate a beautiful new beginning ahead. Take the leap of faith; step into the next cycle of life.
Your final card is The Sun, which is the best card in the Tarot. Success, joy, and abundance will be yours. Notice your reading starts with The Moon and ends with The Sun? The Tarot sees you. You’re going through a dark night of the soul. But no night lasts forever. My dear, your Sun is about to rise. Hang in there. I wish you healing, happiness and success in 2024.
K xoxo
Dear Kelly,
I recently nose-dived into a job that I thought was a good offer, without thinking much. Three weeks into the job, I am overwhelmed with unreasonable work. See, the workload isn’t an issue but rather the content of the work is. I have stated the truth in my resume and the company hired me knowing what my past experience was. They reassured me that I would be able to produce what they were expecting from me. But I swear, at this point, the work here is completely different and my past experience seems useless and my boss himself is unable to give me a good and clear direction. While I like the paycheck that I take, I find the work too tough for me to handle and the lack of a mentor at work makes it impossible for me to pull through. I also feel that my boss isn’t happy with my performance and might blast me for it in the coming weeks. Please help. I’m dying.
Dear Kay,
Such is life: we take risks and some don’t work out. This is a tough situation you’re in, but at least you tried. There’s no other way around this, so I’ll tell you straight: make your plans and leave. Jump ship while you can. In this organisation, only the top leadership has any idea of what’s going on, but this knowledge and confidence isn’t trickling down as it should. Middle management looks lost.
In your cards, you look terribly anxious and burnt out – the stress has led you to forget to take care of yourself, and it’s perpetuating a vicious cycle of poor performance and poor prospects. There are quite a number of cards talking about how this organisation isn’t as well-structured as it looks. As a result, tasks and roles aren’t clearly defined or fairly delegated. There’s one card indicating poor communication (people get left out of the loop quite a bit). Another card is hinting that no one actually knows what’s going on in your workplace. Some people can survive, even thrive, in chaotic environments so long as certain conditions are met, but this is not the case for you.
Nevertheless, you’ve still got an employment card here, so I am fairly confident that you should be able to find another job soon enough. The cards are saying your worst-case scenario is a six-month gap before you find another job, so you can decide if you want to stay put until the next job comes by, or take a break for a couple of months before the next job comes. For now, save up as much as you can – you’ll want to have maximum buffer funds for when you make the final leap. Nevertheless, don’t let this experience scare you away from taking risks ever again! Just remember to do your due diligence next time. The world needs more brave souls like yourself. Balance boldness with wisdom, and your future is bright.
I wish you freedom, self-care, and a new job that also pays you well.
K xoxo
Hello Kelly,
Happy New Year! I would like to enquire about 2024 with a focus on relationships. 2023 was a tough year filled with challenges in all areas but I have tried my best to juggle and handle it. What is 2023 trying to teach me and how should I move forward to fulfil my dream of having my own family? Thank you, appreciate the kind wisdom.
Dear Y,
2023 was a challenging year, with astrological transits (especially the retrograde) that hurled speedbumps at our relationships, careers, communications and finances. I’m glad you’re out of 2023 more or less in one piece, and I love how you want to learn its lessons.
Your cards indicate that 2023 had some special messages for you: one card speaks of learning how to shift your mindset and focus on what you can figure out, rather than fixate on what you can’t control. A radical acceptance of what you face can be healing as you release the burden of responsibilities that aren’t yours to carry. You’ve got the Wheel of Fortune – always a good card to see when you’re hoping for a situation to improve. So you have Lady Luck’s support to look forward to in 2024.
Interestingly, you have a couple of cards encouraging you to work on your perspective of things. There is a tendency to overthink, and (or) to fixate on things. This is possibly your mind’s way of protecting yourself by imagining various problematic possibilities and figuring out solutions to them. The good thing about solving problems pre-emptively is that it makes you feel safe. The drawback is that your perception can shape reality, and a ‘problem-solver’ mindset can sometimes lead you to focus on perceived ‘issues’ at the expense of your own happiness, well-being, and peace of mind.
Your final card urges you to embrace who you are. This card, the Queen of Wands, represents a person who’s gorgeous inside and out: charming, courageous, helpful, warm-hearted, generous, and noble of spirit. Sometimes, this card can represent someone in your life who will encourage you to adopt these qualities. I feel that once you master the lessons of 2023, you will truly come into your own, and you’ll be a joyous force to be reckoned with. As for your dream of having your own family, you have a card that strongly encourages taking the initiative, making the moves, and developing your self-confidence. You’ve got a good chance of success if you do.
What seems to be holding you back is a sense of uncertainty and anxiety over making mistakes – again, it’s the whole vibe of ‘wanting to be safe’ that’s keeping you back from going out there and fulfilling your dream of having your own family. Perhaps 2024 is the year that you’ll go all out? I hope so, and I’m rooting for you. I wish you love and the family of your dreams.
K xoxo
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