So you’re in love but you don’t know how to show it. Check out these tips and find the one that best works for you!
February is known as the month of love because of Valentine’s Day. Beyond the commercialisation of love and romance through flowers, expensive dinners and gifts, how can we truly make this time a meaningful one to celebrate love? I want to delve into what so many couples struggle with – how to express their love verbally. What do I mean? People have difficulties showing their emotions because they don’t know how or they simply can’t. Here are my suggestions.
How to express love to your partner
1. Paint a picture
You don’t always have to use words to express your love. A picture says a thousand words. Pull together images of all your favourite memories from your time with your beloved and create a collage of places and things you’ve done together. It can be a one-pager, a collection of images, or even a video (set the mood with music!).
2. Let’s get physical
Are you more of a touchy-feely person? Book a staycation, whisk your partner away and give them an hour-long spa treatment provided by you! Tip: try a “bossy massage” where you do whatever they ask for – vary the speed, pressure and rhythm. Rather than assume what your partner needs, do exactly what they want. Try that for a minute or so, and keep adjusting along the way to suit their desires. By surrendering your power and allowing your partner to guide you with specific instructions, you’ll connect more deeply than before.
3. It’s written in the stars
Here’s a fun walk down memory lane: think about your love story. Take a piece of paper and draw a line across it – this is your relationship timeline. Map out significant milestones of your time together. For example, your first date, first kiss, engagement, and so on. Jot down details along these relationship markers – where they took place, what happened, how you felt – and pick out words or sentences that you associate with these things.
Writing activates parts of your brain that typing doesn’t. And this, in a nutshell, is your love story: your past.
Continue on to the present with another piece of paper. Think of how you feel about your partner (focus on the good since this is a love letter!) and why you feel that way. Come up with concrete examples of times when they were endearing or made you feel loved. What do these things tell you about your partner’s character or personality? Being able to see themselves through your eyes with specific examples will touch their heart in a special way.
Next, move on to the future. What kind of life do you picture together? What are some places you want to visit and things you want to do? Any romantic or sexual elements you’d like to include? As the saying goes, the best is yet to come. Life is for the living and people who envision it can make it a reality.
Now, piece your love notes together! Use this to guide you when you talk about your past (the love story), present (what you feel and why), and the future (your vision, dreams and hopes). Not sure how to present it? Spend time crafting a thoughtful love letter. Or, do this as a relationship exercise where both of you try the activity and share what you wrote with each other.
Communicating our love isn’t just through touch, acts of service or gifts. It’s also important to express ourselves verbally. Keep practising showing your love through words. It gets easier with practice!