A relationship expert shares the secret to finding love online, from useful dating advice to making the first move.
Searching for love? You’ve most likely tried a dating app – it’s simple, convenient, and can be done from the comfort of your home. However, swiping through countless profiles can sometimes feel overwhelming. The key to succeeding in online dating is being open to meeting new people and having the courage and confidence to make the first move. Here are some tips for you to up your dating game and have fun doing so!
How to elevate your online dating game
1. Put your best self forward
Your online dating profile should be a positive and authentic representation of yourself. Uploading a variety of photos is a good way to start. Case in point: people in Singapore who add three to six photos to their Bumble profile experience 42% more matches a month than those who don’t! Having a mix of images that reflect your lifestyle, hobbies and passions will help you stand out from the crowd and let your potential connection get to know you better.
Use your photos as a way to express information about yourself. If you love travelling, include snaps from your trips; if you love cooking, upload pics of you in the kitchen or at your favourite restaurant.
Next, complete your profile. Think carefully about what you’d like to showcase (not show off) to your potential date. But stick as close to reality as possible – the last thing you want is to oversell or undersell yourself. We tend to be work-oriented in Singapore, so highlight non-work aspects of your life in your dating app profile. Do you have any hobbies? What values do you subscribe to? What are you passionate about?
Verifying your profile can also increase your chances of success. Fulfilling this simple step helps assure potential dates they’re talking to a real person and allows them to feel safe.
2. Find a genuine connection
So you’ve connected with someone on the app. Now, what? Start chatting to find out more about the other person and get comfortable. While it’s important to keep an open mind, here are some red flags to look out for:
- People who don’t treat others with respect: if they’re constantly complaining and failing to see things from others’ perspectives, you might want to give the date a miss. Avoid someone with the tendency to blame others for everything that doesn’t work out in their life. However, if you’re really into them, be mentally prepared to compromise in a disagreement.
- People who don’t take responsibility for past actions: if the topic of past relationships comes up, you want a partner who’s done their fair share of self-reflection. Avoid someone who constantly blames their exes, as they may not be able to see their side of the responsibility in making a relationship work.
3. Make the first move
Congrats, you’ve hit it off on the app and you’re ready to move things offline. While there’s no way to guarantee a date, don’t be afraid to make the first move! If you’re still uncertain, opt for a voice call or video chat first. You might even feel less anxious when you meet in person for the first time.
When’s the best time to take the plunge? It depends on your potential date. If they’ve clearly indicated a romantic interest in you and you feel the same, ask them out when you’re comfortable.
4. It’s a date!
If you’re not sure where to go or what to do, look at their profile or re-read your conversation to find shared passions. It’s a great idea to use activities to anchor the date. Instead of talking about going to a cafe, ask them if they want to try a new cuisine. Focusing on activities that interest them can help drum up excitement prior to the date, which they might attribute to you!
For the adventurous, going for a hike can be a great opportunity to have one-on-one time with your date. Moving your body produces endorphins that elevate your mood, and your date may credit these positive feelings to you. But if you want to go at a calmer pace, suggest a riverside or beachside walk after a romantic dinner date.
Visiting a museum is also a fun bonding time. Getting lost in a new environment creates a shared experience that can be interesting. Or you can watch a play or live show – this will give you shared laughs and a light conversation topic to revisit. Enjoying one of the many attractions at Sentosa also has potential for romance – it allows you to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life.
Ultimately, dating should be fun and exciting. Be authentic and stay open-minded. With the right mindset, you might just discover a genuine connection and learn more about yourself.