From the honeymoon period to marriage, you’ll get to know your partner so much better by asking these relationship questions.
We all understand the importance of communication. However, what happens when you desire to know your beloved on a deeper level but you’re unsure what to ask or where to start? Here are my suggestions – no matter what stage of the relationship you’re in, I’ve got fun and intimate questions for you to mull over.
Questions to ask when you’re dating casually
1. What do you like to do in your free time?
Time is one of our most valuable assets – once it’s gone, you can’t get it back. How someone spends their time determines what they value. This will give you an idea of whether you have shared interests or hobbies.
2. Which movies make you happy, sad or mad?
A movie date is never a bad idea. You share an experience together, get used to each other’s company, and have something to talk about afterwards. Plus, it’s always a good idea to throw casual questions into the mix!
3. What type of music do you enjoy and how does it affect your mood?
Some people are visual, others are auditory. You can easily incorporate music into your dates – whether it’s going to a dance class, jazz bar or live concert.
4. Who do you admire?
From politicians to celebrities to influencers, we all have someone we hold in high regard, for one reason or another. Your date’s answer to this will be telling of their values.
Questions to ask when you’re dating exclusively
5. Where would you be happiest to live in?
This can be a prelude to retirement plans. While it’s not as important, in my opinion, to have the same hobbies, it’s essential to share the same goals for the future. Envisioning a life and a future is part of what committed couples do.
6. What’s one secret you’re willing to divulge?
Dating is the process of getting to know each other. We all have secrets and we open up with people we trust. The sharing of secrets without judgment will build intimacy.
7. Are you a morning or night person?
This might be a good question to ask if the topic hasn’t come up yet and you’re not living together. I know many couples who have different sleeping patterns, and that’s alright – it’s about navigating those differences.
8. What’s one thing people consistently misunderstand about you?
This is a great way to learn more about others’ perceptions of them, as well as their inner truth. Being misunderstood can be something that irks them and you might like to take note of that.
Questions to ask when you’re engaged
9. How long will our engagement last?
You want to be on the same page when it comes to your expectations about the duration of the engagement and wedding preparations.
10. What does your ideal wedding look like?
Weddings can be stressful events, and the clearer and more aligned you are with expectations, the better. As I always say, marriage is more important than the wedding.
11. How will we navigate a difference in our sexual drives?
Sexual fulfilment is an important aspect of a marriage. Couples should be on the same page when it comes to coping with the sexual ebbs and flows of life.
12. As a couple, how will we manage our finances?
Money is a source of conflict in most marriages. Should you have a joint account? Will you discuss bills, insurance, savings and investments? Who’s better at saving or growing money? These are all questions you need to sort out.
13. What does faithfulness mean to you?
Some people consider flirting as cheating, while others consider it harmless. There are those who consider watching porn as infidelity, yet others are okay with virtual reality sex. Relationship boundaries need to be established to avoid any misunderstandings.
14. How will we handle or split household chores?
Your spouse should not be left to feel like your caretaker or caregiver. It’s important to take joint responsibility and ownership early on.
Questions to ask when you’re married
15. What’s your love language?
Even if you think you know their love language (quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, physical touch or acts of service), it’s important to revisit this as we often take things for granted. When you’re both time-pressed, performing their love language will fill up their tank the most and make them feel appreciated.
16. How can we communicate better as a couple?
Essentially, you’re asking for feedback about how you can improve communication with your partner. Is one side doing too much nagging? Is your anger causing your partner to shut down? It’s necessary to know these things so you can be more mindful of each other.
17. What are some me-time activities you enjoy?
As familial obligations set in with the arrival of kids, parents often neglect themselves at the expense of more couple and family time. It’s critical to give each other time and support so both of you can recharge and do things that nurture you.
18. How can I support you to grow as a person?
More than just chillaxing or doing fun things, life is about growth, learning and self-improvement. Asking this question will help you understand your partner’s personal desires for the future.
19. How’s our relationship health?
We can get so busy with life! Sometimes we need to review where we are before we get caught up in other things. Doing a relationship temperature check from time to time is always beneficial. Your conversation can cover your physical, emotional, sexual, financial or even spiritual health.
20. What kind of legacy do you want to leave?
We’re all here for a finite amount of time. Getting the answer to this means you’re more likely to be on the same page as your partner – and you can support them better.
Hopefully, this list of questions has given you something to discuss with your partner to deepen your relationship!