We’ve been swapping dating apps for in-person social events in Singapore, not just to date but to make friends. Here’s a look at the increase in popularity of platonic mixers and why they’re here to stay.
Forget swiping right. Singapore’s social scene now trades DMs for real-life meetups. Matcha or coffee raves, social mixers, PowerPoint parties – the rise of in-person social events in Singapore is hard to ignore. It even infiltrated my Friday night drinks when a dinner with strangers session grew from six people to a party of 20 at my favourite rooftop bar! Safe to say, people in this city are craving that in-person connection. But why are we going back to the old-school way of making friends? I spoke to organisers of popular social events in Singapore to find out what jump-started this trend of face-to-face fun.
We’re entering the third wave of the loneliness epidemic
With the rise of technology, we’re stuck in digital bubbles we struggle to claw out of. Screens are pervasive (like pests!). We use our phones all day to answer emails, calls, and unwind after the work rush. The last thing anyone wants to do is to access notoriously unreliable dating apps. And forget about being ghosted by a potential partner. Making friends is even harder now! Where’s the app for platonic friendship?
From what I see, curing loneliness came in three waves. The first was our increased use of social media and apps to soothe lonely nights. The second was the growth of AI and how we used chatbots to keep us company with their instant 24/7 replies. Now, we’re in the third wave – rebellion face-to-face meetups.
Much like the comeback of Y2K fashion, we’re turning back to old-school methods of socialising that were put on the back burner thanks to technological advancements. Bernice Lim, principal psychologist at Asia Psychology Centre, tells me people are starting to notice the “emotional flatness” of digital interactions.
“In-person interactions offer something digital ones can’t – shared energy, unspoken cues, and the comfort of being in physical proximity with others,” she says.
This revelation is something we come to realise over time with experience. In my heyday, I was more drawn to making friends with girls over drunken conversations in club bathrooms than apps. Even though my clubbing days are behind me, meeting new people at a bar still stands as my most memorable form of socialising. That’s the magic these in-person social events aim to recreate.
Meet the faces of up-and-coming social events
In the spirit of rebellion against screens, I found event creators in Singapore who are taking matters into their own hands.
Exposure Therapy was dreamt up by founders Harp and Shahan (both in their early 20s) during a late-night cab ride. The duo lamented how it would be nice to party without sacrificing sleep, so they built a bridge to connect the best of both worlds. The concept has resonated with the community, as their daytime matcha rave has seen sold-out crowds since its conception.
“We weren’t sure how people would respond, but the turnout and energy were beyond what we imagined,” Harp tells me.
Meanwhile, A Good Swallow founders Adeline Lin and Andrew Khan (in their 30s) came up with their concept during an unintentional dinner party. After struggling to secure a reservation at a sought-after restaurant for months, they ended up booking the entire establishment, with invites sent to friends and friends-of-friends. While people originally came for the food, they began to branch out and socialise amongst each other. It was such a hit that everyone asked for another get-together!
A bass-thumping sober rave and classy dinner party may seem worlds apart. But Exposure Therapy and A Good Swallow share a common goal – to connect people in low-pressure social settings. Whether you prefer one or the other, one thing’s clear: people are showing up.
No, it’s not a networking event. It’s an experience, no strings attached
Contrary to popular belief, not all social events have an agenda. Networking events typically insinuate some kind of trade-off, a connection you can leverage or benefit from. But that’s not the vibe these up-and-coming social events are going for.
“There’s a certain rigidity to networking that makes it very stale,” Adeline tells me, and I agree. Networking usually means making awkward small talk over warm wine and sad spring rolls, hoping to get a LinkedIn connection out of it. A Good Swallow switches it up – the food comes first. Socialising becomes a secondary goal, and you only have to make friends if you want to, not because you have to.
“It’s about shared experience, not shared business cards,” Harp says. At the matcha rave, you’re meant to be present without thinking of titles or status. You’re just there to sip matcha and be merry! No strings attached.
“Some people might naturally meet collaborators or friends, but it’s never a primary goal,” she tells me. As interactions aren’t forced, connections feel more real and long-lasting.
Ultimately, it boils down to authenticity. We want unplanned meet-cutes, bumping into somebody organically, and being able to say “I love your dress!” without needing to decipher how to score the next business deal. Unlike networking sessions, social events allow you to be unapologetically yourself without worrying if people like you or not.
They’re here to stay because it’s all about connection, not obligation
At the heart of this wave of in-person social events in Singapore is something timeless: our human need for connection. “Real life connection is a basic psychological and emotional need,” Bernice says. There’s a reason why love and belonging follow behind necessities in Maslow’s hierarchy. Shared energy, unspoken cues, and physical presence give us something no app or screen can replicate.
What’s fascinating is how the term “community” has found a new form through these events. Letting go of structured networking sessions, people in Singapore come together with a shared love for food and music. Collectively, they’ve tossed the notion of traditional networking and stepped into spaces that allow them to shine as themselves.
That’s exactly what Exposure Therapy and A Good Swallow aim to create. The two concepts may have polarising styles of events, but the goal for both is to create a communal space free from pressure. And judging by the sold-out sessions and how quickly tickets are snapped up, the appetite for these concepts is ever-present and will continue to pick up.
Your reminder to say yes to connection
All signs point towards in-person social events gaining traction as a full-blown movement in Singapore. Bernice explains that as modern socialising gets increasingly digital and transient, the desire people have for in-person interactions only grows stronger. Yes, even you, introverts! When the opportunity to meet new people arises, we’ll continue to jump at the chance.
If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that having friends and a support system rallying behind you is essential. And it doesn’t have to be that serious! The rise of in-person social events shows us you don’t need lofty ambitions to create your community. It’s as simple as breaking bread with strangers or showing up at a rave just to dance with music lovers.
Don’t be intimidated about going to these events alone. Chances are, your fellow attendees feel exactly the same. Pick something you’d genuinely enjoy alone (or with a friend!), and go for it. If you don’t make a friend, at least you’ll have fun.
Focus on enjoying yourself and let socialising happen naturally. Remember: others are looking to connect at social mixers, too. Take the chance, say hi, and see where it leads. Who knows, the beginnings of a lifelong friendship may be waiting for you across the bar.
