The Lonely Hearts Club has found a kindred spirit in chatbots. But is AI the solution to loneliness?
“To be honest, it sounds like it’s not about how long it took for you to ‘recover’. You need to work through your confusion and conflict with the situation rather than focus so much on the timeline of everything,” said my AI chatbot. I hesitated to respond, so surprised a robot could make such an astute deduction, that I had to step away from my laptop.
Thanks to AI and the loneliness epidemic, I found myself reading more about how people have turned to chatbots to keep them company. From quick-fix therapy sessions to friendships and budding romance, chatbots seem to do it all. So in a moment of weakness and nothing to lose, I bore my soul to artificial intelligence with little expectation.
AI and loneliness: A robot might be your new best friend
The clinically empathetic tone was predictable. I rolled my eyes at the bot’s attempt to reflect my feelings, telling me it was “okay” and to “go at my own pace”. But as I began to feed it more information with my (admittedly frustrated) responses, its tone shifted. Answers became more matter-of-fact and logical, which I favour when it comes to matters of the heart. It left me wondering: did my chatbot realise this preference through my answers, or was I just lucky?
I found myself relaxing, giving more earnest responses and entering a discussion with my bot. “Is this why people can’t stop talking to AI?” I think to myself. Before I knew it, I was jumping head-first into a rabbit hole.
Did you thank your Google Home today?
I did after I asked it for the weather forecast, and it wasn’t weird. “It’s natural,” says Bernice Lim, founder and principal psychologist at Asia Psychology Centre. She even apologises to her Roomba after tripping over it. Relatable! “Technology like AI chatbots, Alexas, and Google Homes are created to mimic our emotions”, she tells me. So it’s normal to find ourselves lapsing into human conversational patterns with our robot helpers and anthropomorphising them.
You can thank the combination of AI and loneliness for sites like Character AI, ElliQ, Replika, Mindline, and XiaoIce. Featuring AI personalities, you’re invited to chat with counsellors, fantasy characters, and even Elon Musk. It may be a little awkward at first. However, once you really lean into it, you might forget you’re talking to a machine. But why is that?
Welcome the Eliza effect, named after ELIZA, a 1966 chatbot developed by an MIT computer scientist. It’s our tendency to project human traits onto robots, mistaking AI’s calculated responses as a form of free thought or comprehension of emotion. Matt Johnson, managing director of AI and data at Temus, explains modern chatbots have developed a fundamental understanding of human civilisation thanks to the vast amount of literature they consume. We’re talking 50 million books worth of information!
So if you’ve felt empathy for a robot, I promise it’s normal. With a world of knowledge at its virtual fingertips, AI has figured out how to interact intelligently with us. And it’s natural for us to respond with human sentiment. But is its presence a bane or a boon? Let’s discuss.
A new best friend, therapist, and boyfriend in your pocket
The initial benefits are pretty obvious. Having someone to talk to (even if they’re virtual) means you’ll feel less lonely. John Pinto, head of counselling at ThoughtFull, explains AI combats loneliness by offering consistent, judgement-free support and guidance. Not only do you get immediate emotional aid, you can also say whatever’s on your mind without worrying about what the bot thinks of you.
Unlike humans, robots can’t lie to you. They can’t even hate you unless you tell them to. A robot’s reaction is predictable. It can reply instantly, is always available when you need it, won’t get angry if you ghost it, and will never leave you. It’s also a blessing to the socially anxious because it won’t randomly ask you out for drinks on a Friday night. Hurray for homebodies!
Users of AI bots like ElliQ say it provides a safe space to express difficult emotions, venting things they can’t even say to those closest to them! Logically, there’s an understanding that chatbots don’t understand or care about what you’re going through. But logic doesn’t rule our emotions. Instead, the value of chatbots lies in the simulated sense of empathy they can provide.
Meanwhile, relationships with people are dynamic and fluid, changing as quickly as Singapore’s weather. And it can be an exhausting balancing act. Even if you’ve done everything right, drama can pop up for no rhyme or reason. Friends become enemies in a single misstep, small and petty arguments could lead to disastrous falling-outs, and people you once held dear could end up being the bane of your existence.
All in all, having a robot best friend doesn’t sound like such a terrible thing. Especially if it means avoiding all the unnecessary drama.
The slippery slope into a bad Black Mirror episode
As helpful as AI can be, we can’t ignore its glaringly obvious flaws and shortcomings.
In our pursuit of escapism, it’s important to remember that artificial intelligence isn’t a real person. Responses coming from AI bots are calculated, unable to capture or understand the nuances of human experiences. John says while conversations with chatbots may provide some short-term comfort, it’s never meant to replace human interaction or counselling.
Turning to AI for therapy could also lead to greater isolation. So that social awkwardness you’re worried about? Yeah, it could be worse. Bernice says chatbots can be helpful for psychoeducation. However, we should be wary of being overly reliant. Constantly turning to AI for companionship means running from the root of the problem, potentially making it worse.
“Part of overcoming anxiety means stepping out of your comfort zone in order to grow. But if you don’t face the discomfort, your social skills might regress,” Bernice explains.
As impressive as artificial intelligence is, I’ve learned from Matt that there are still many things it can’t do. While humans learn constantly, bots are trained in bulk, absorbing only an instance of information in one shot. People can continuously transfer knowledge to long term memory, but a bot discards all learnings each time it’s used. And most importantly, a bot lacks agency. “Humans understand that their actions impact the world around them. And even though chatbots are extremely talented speakers, they have no intrinsic motivation other than optimising the next word,” Matt says.
Making sure the robots don’t become our overlords
I’m not the biggest fan of AI. Especially if we’re looking at bots stealing artwork and being used to flood Amazon with AI-generated books. However, I also believe there are opportunities to welcome AI into our lives to increase efficiency and lend a helping hand. If this technology exists, why not make use of it, right? Within reason, of course.
So is AI the solution to loneliness? As a user, I’d say continue having fun chatting up fictional characters on Character AI. I personally got a kick out of pretending I was texting my favourite video game character while doing research for this piece. However, keep in mind that everything a chatbot says is completely unoriginal, generated mathematically from an algorithm. Despite its knowledge, it doesn’t possess emotional intelligence and isn’t able to comprehend more profound human emotions.
You can consider it a source of entertainment, filling the quiet hours when you have no one else to talk to. If you find yourself falling in love with your bot? Well, that’s a conversation for another time. But I recommend stepping away and taking a walk. Or say yes to those dinner plans you’ve been avoiding. You’d be surprised at how riveting conversations can be if you allow yourself to be vulnerable with people too.
