Attending a funeral in Singapore? Here’s a quick guide on the different customs and what you need to prepare.
If you’ve been to a funeral in Singapore, you know it’s a sad and poignant affair. It’s not easy to say goodbye to those near and dear to us, but it can also be a wonderful time to remember them for all the good they brought to the world. Because of Singapore’s multicultural and multiracial society, we have the privilege of understanding the significance of funeral rituals and customs outside our own race and beliefs. Some of them are incredibly touching.
“There’s a Teochew ritual called ‘si sheng’ that’s very heartwarming. It’s an act of feeding performed by the bereaved children and eldest grandson as a show of filial piety and gratitude,” says Rachael Zheng, corporate development manager at Casket Fairprice. “Rice and dried tofu are dipped in brown sugar, and placed on the lip of the deceased. The children call out the name of the departed before reciting a phrase in Teochew, which loosely translates to, ‘You have brought me up, and now I will feed you in your old age’.”
Rachael gives us an overview of the various funeral rites and rituals performed in Singapore.
Common funeral rituals in Singapore
1. Buddhist funerals
Buddhist funerals in Singapore are conducted by Buddhist monks. They chant Buddhist sutras, and lead the family in prayers and the necessary food and fruit offerings. Chanting sessions take place on the first day and last night of the wake, as well as on the funeral day itself. These sessions are carried out to help the departed gain enlightenment and remove any bad karma from the past.
Family members provide breakfast and dinner for the departed. They also light and offer joss sticks to address the deceased and invite them to have their meal. On the funeral day, the monk leads the ceremony, reciting sutras and making offerings before the family sets off for the burial grounds or cremation hall.
What to wear: Dress conservatively in muted colours, avoiding bright shades and red.
What to bring: You may bring some money in an envelope for the family. The amount to include is up to you.
2. Muslim funerals
When a person of the Islamic faith passes away, they’re usually brought home and buried within 24 hours for sanitary purposes according to Sharia law. The body is washed and wrapped in white cloth by select members of the family (usually those of the same gender as the deceased). An Imam carries out prayers at the home (or mosque) before the deceased is placed in a coffin and carried to a Muslim cemetery in Singapore to be buried – cremation is strictly forbidden in Islam.
If you’re a non-Muslim, you may wait outside the home while the prayers and rituals are ongoing. There’s a mourning period of three days following the death, where friends and family can visit the bereaved to express their condolences.
What to wear: Dress conservatively in clothes that cover your arms and legs. A headscarf is recommended for the ladies.
What to bring: You may bring some money in an envelope for the family. The amount to include is up to you.
3. Christian funerals
Christian funerals tend to focus more on the remembrance of the deceased. The funeral leans toward celebrating life, as they believe followers of the faith will go to heaven to be in the loving presence of the Lord. Family, friends and fellow church members gather at wakes in small groups for hymns and prayers. Hugs, handshakes and words of comfort are commonly exchanged. A funeral service is usually conducted at the site of the wake by a pastor or church minister. This includes worship, prayer, scripture reading, a sermon and a eulogy.
What to wear: Dress conservatively in muted colours; this can include white, grey, navy blue or black.
What to bring: You may bring some money in an envelope for the family. The amount to include is up to you. You can also consider sending condolence wreaths or mourning flowers like lilies, carnations and chrysanthemums.
4. Catholic funerals
Catholic funerals are similar to Christian funerals in that friends and family gather for prayers, hymns and eulogies. However, as they believe actions in life determine whether the soul of the departed goes to heaven, hell or purgatory, the funerals have a stronger focus on rituals. A prayer vigil is held at the site of the wake or church. The ceremony is referred to as the Reception of the Body, and can be conducted by a priest (or a layperson, in the event a priest isn’t available).
The casket is blessed with holy water on the day of the funeral, and scriptures from the Old Testament of the Bible are read along with a passage from the book of Psalms. The priest will also conduct a commendation prayer to entrust the soul of the deceased into the arms of the Lord. Holy Communion is carried out (a ritual that commemorates Jesus’ Last Supper with his disciples), and incense and holy water are used to bless the casket before it leaves the church.
What to wear: Dress conservatively in muted colours; this can include white, grey, navy blue or black.
What to bring: You may bring some money in an envelope for the family. The amount to include is up to you. You can also consider sending condolence wreaths or mourning flowers like lilies, carnations and chrysanthemums.
5. Taoist funerals
While there are different rituals at Taoist funerals depending on the dialect group of the deceased, the main theme remains the same – the focus is on filial piety. Religious leaders guide the bereaved family on the various rites and rituals. These can be somewhat complicated. They can include ritual cleansing to allow the soul to let go of earthly attachments, as well as the burning of paper or chanting to break hell and allow the departed to cross over to heaven. Some families may choose to proceed with a Buddhist funeral as it’s simpler to carry out.
What to wear: Dress conservatively in muted colours, avoiding bright shades and the colour red.
What to bring: You may bring some money in an envelope for the family. The amount to include is up to you.
6. Hindu funerals
For Hindus, the body of the deceased is embalmed and rests at home for two or three days before the funeral takes place. A lamp is placed near the head of the body to guide the soul to reincarnation. A priest carries out the proceedings, reciting hymns and mantras, and making offerings to deities or ancestors. There’s usually an open casket for family members to pay respects before the body is cremated.
On the day of cremation, the body is brought to a common area (likely a void deck of an HDB block) where family and friends can come to see the departed. After cremation, the ashes of the deceased are scattered in a sacred body of water, or at a place that might’ve been important to them.
What to wear: White clothing is accepted, and it’s recommended not to wear black.
What to bring: You may bring some money in an envelope for the family, although this isn’t compulsory. You may also gift a sympathy basket of fruits.
7. Soka Gakkai funerals
The doshi, a leader from the Singapore Soka Association (SSA), usually leads a Soka Gakkai funeral service. Attendees of the wake will perform a ritual called gongyo, where they recite the words ‘nam myoho renge kyo’ – a phrase that means to devote one’s life to the law. They also read from portions of the lotus sutra (a sacred Buddhist scripture) in front of a gohonzon (a religious object that can come in the form of a scroll or statue). This is meant to evoke sympathy for the deceased. The doshi holds a short prayer session at the burial grounds or cremation hall on the day of the funeral.
What to wear: Dress conservatively in muted colours, avoiding bright shades and the colour red.
What to bring: You may bring some money in an envelope for the family. The amount to include is up to you.
Attending a funeral in Singapore can be an emotional affair. But, your presence will likely provide comfort to friends and family members of the deceased. As Mitch Albom once said, life has to end, but love does not.