A healthy relationship doesn’t always have to involve showy acts of love. Here’s what showing love and appreciation looks like for different couples.
Movies depict love as fresh bouquets with 99 roses and dramatic airport pursuits, but what does a healthy relationship actually look like? In day-to-day interactions, the little things can matter more than these grand romantic gestures. So, we posed a question to our married colleagues: what are the simple things that make you feel ‘seen’ and appreciated by your partner? Here are the simple yet sweet gestures that go a long way in their relationships.
What does it mean to feel ‘seen’ in a healthy relationship?
1. Having a thoughtful morning ritual
“My husband delivers a cup of tea in bed to me each morning. It’s a tiny gesture, but a daily reminder that he’s there for me. He’s the first to get up and the person who generally organises the kids and packs their lunches. The fact that he still makes time to brew me a cup of tea and deliver it to the bedroom is very special.”
– Chris Edwards, married for 23 years with three kids
2. Staying connected through small gestures
“As the main breadwinner, I’m constantly juggling work, part-time studies and family responsibilities. Since I’m usually out of the house, my wife keeps me connected to the family in the smallest ways. She’ll send random family photos, or messages reminding me to ride home safely or that dessert has been saved for me. It’s these little things that keep me going.”
– Caleb Leong, married for 16 years with two kids
3. Taking on the travel mental load
“My husband is essentially our family’s travel agent. He plans and books all our holidays – flights, accommodation and everything in between – so all I have to do is pack my bag and turn up at the airport. I love travelling, but the planning and execution can take away a lot of the joy (and add a fair bit of pressure). By taking this on entirely, he gives me the space to simply look forward to the trip and focus on what I do best: planning where I want to eat.”
– Ange Neo, married for 17 years with two kids
4. Showing love through household chores
“My husband’s love language is acts of service, which is different from mine, but over the years, I’ve learnt how to receive the love he speaks into my heart. He does the heavy lifting on major household chores, handles meal prep and cooks dinner, leaves home to meet me at the MRT station (so I don’t have to walk back alone in the evenings), and manages the administrative tasks in our lives. All this makes me feel truly appreciated – like we’re both putting in the work and contributing love and care to our marriage.”
– Benita Lee, married for nine years
5. Selflessly sharing the parenting load
“We often bring our three-year-old daughter along to our social outings. I really appreciate how my wife steps in to engage or distract her – especially during serious chats – so I can stay present with our friends. Her initiative in those moments makes it easier for us to enjoy a social life even as parents.”
– Greglory Menajang, married for five years with one kid
6. Carving out precious time for two
“My husband often suggests having breakfast after dropping the kids off. It makes me feel like he values quality time with me, even though he doesn’t explicitly say so.”
– Esther Chung, married for five years with two kids
7. Stepping up in a vulnerable season
“Postpartum has been one of the most vulnerable and trying seasons of my life. Instead of shying away from changes, my husband chose to step up and be present for me. Simple acts, such as keeping guests’ visits short, preparing my herbal baths, and setting up the room for postnatal massages, remind me how deeply he cares for me. He’s also a pro at putting the little one to bed, and offers to take night duties so I can clock in more sleep. I carry so much gratitude in my heart for the partner and father he is.”
– Natasha Oh, married for eight years with one kid
Feeling ‘seen’ through simple acts of love
Who says love has to be expressed with unrealistic or unsustainable grand gestures? Even in long-term marriages, these couples – busy parents included – continue to show their care and appreciation through small, doable actions. It can be as simple as having a special daily routine or sharing the housework load to relieve your partner’s burden.
If you want to keep the spark burning bright with your better half, Families for Life is here to help with its I Still Do campaign. Head to the website for a line-up of couple bonding activities, marriage programmes, and free resources to strengthen your relationship. Check out the free marriage journey quiz for a pulse check on your marriage dynamics, or learn about handy tips for newlyweds.
Here’s a final tip from the experts at Families for Life: long-lasting connections are built through small, repeated actions, as well as actions that match you and your partner’s needs and preferred expressions of love. Be it providing an active listening ear, verbal validation or comforting hugs, simple acts tailored to your partner are key in making them feel ‘seen’.
This post is in partnership with the Ministry of Social and Family Development.
