Our columnist, clinical sexologist Dr Martha Tara Lee of Eros Coaching, tells you what you need to know about sex therapy in Singapore.
Life throws us plenty of challenges. That’s why we seek support and advice from experts like therapists. But what if your problem is related to sex and sexuality? Yes, there’s awkwardness and sensitivity around the subject, so you may not know where to turn. Don’t worry, it’s a totally natural response!
The first resort? It’s usually finding a medical practitioner to give you the all-clear on physical health. Next, you may turn to a psychologist. But unless they have training in sexuality, you’re better off going to a specialist in sexology. That’s right, a sexologist.
These are trained and qualified professionals on the spectrum of human sexual behaviour (usually with a doctorate in human sexuality). They’re knowledgeable on areas that affect our sexuality including biology, psychology, physiology, medicine and more. Curious about sex therapy in Singapore and how it works? Here’s a peek into what your first session can look like (plus a giveaway for a book on all things sex!).
What you need to know about sex therapy in Singapore
1. Who’s the sexpert?
Think about the person’s training, credentials, testimonials, continued education and supervision. Do they belong to any governing or certifying association? What are the terms and conditions of their sessions (the fee, duration, structure and location)? Read up on what’s available and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Oh, and make sure you’re on time for the session – sexologists charge on a time basis. So if you’re late, you’ll only short-change yourself.
2. It’s all about you, really
During your first appointment, you’ll complete an intake form including your personal information. Next, your sexologist will find out what you want from the session. Plus, you’ll share your sexual concerns. They may also ask about your family, health and sexual history. Like a private detective, they’re simply trying to get a good idea of what’s going on to help you as best as they can.
3. Don’t shy away from asking questions
This isn’t a one-sided engagement. You’re more than welcome to share anything that may be useful. That includes things your partner said or how you felt in that situation. You can also voice all doubts and lingering questions you have. These act as clues to your inner psyche and surface topics that need addressing.
4. Dig a little deeper
Next, your sexologist will help identify the issue(s). They’ll offer a treatment plan or roadmap and talk about what’s involved in sessions to come (if any). Issues can include fear of sex, performance anxiety, sexual desire discrepancy, the need for better sexual communication, or sexual skill enhancement.
Think about it this way: the first session is the beginning of your working relationship with each other. Depending on what’s organic and what needs addressing first, you’ll already be learning something. For example, your sexologist may use sexual aids like an anatomical chart to explain if you’re unclear about sexual anatomy.
5. Practice makes you better
Before you leave, you may get home-based assignments. Practising these tasks (by yourself or with your partner) will help you overcome your sexual challenges in a small, progressive, bite-sized manner. Let’s be realistic: it’s not possible (most of the time) to develop sexual skills and confidence in one session. So do your homework – these exercises will supplement the learning.
6. Are you comfortable?
The first session is for you to think about whether your working partnership is a good fit. Rapport is key! Feel free to express your fears and concerns about working together so they can be quickly addressed. Fret not, you can always get a reference to someone more suitable if that’s what you need.
At the end of the day, it’s easier to overcome sexual difficulties with a qualified sexologist who has the knowledge, skills and experience to support you. Sex therapy sessions can be with or without your partner, though it’s ideal for both of you to work things out together. So if you’re struggling, don’t be afraid to seek help.
Want advice on sex? We’re giving away 10 copies of Dr Martha Tara Lee’s book, Love, Sex and Everything in Between. No topic is taboo as she explains everything from common sexual problems to sexual doubts. You’ll be armed with all the tips you need to spice up your sex life. Just enter our giveaway by 30 May 2021 for a chance to win!
Love, Sex and Everything in Between Giveaway
Update: This giveaway has ended and the winners have been picked. Thanks for your participation!
The ins and outs of the giveaway: Competition closes on 30 May 2021, and winners will be notified by email. Winners need to be in Singapore to claim their prizes. All T&Cs will be at the discretion of vendors. This giveaway is non-refundable or exchangeable for cash. Check out our full competition terms and conditions for more details.