Current users and dating app experts spill the tea on how to build an irresistible dating app profile.
When I was little, adults and relatives would regale me with tales of how they met their significant other. My parents got to know each other in university, and some met in settings like church, via a shared hobby, or through mutual friends. I always assumed I’d meet my future boyfriend “organically” too. But as life would have it (call it fate or the magical powers of the algorithm), we met on Coffee Meets Bagel instead. I’d like to think it was because my dating app profile was hilariously interesting.
Unsurprisingly, the use of such apps has grown in popularity since Covid-19. Back then, lockdowns and social distancing were buzzwords. Since you couldn’t meet new people on the street anymore, the next logical step was to venture online. In fact, local dating app Paktor saw a 28% jump in installations at the very start of the pandemic.
On dating apps, you have hundreds of potential prospects at your fingertips. So it should be relatively easy to score a date, right? But not everyone has a success story to share. If you’re wondering why you’re not getting as many matches as you hoped, it’s because your dating app profile might be lacking some… pizzazz.
Ways you’re messing up your dating app profile
The first thing you might be doing wrong? Writing skimpy bios or vague prompt responses that give nothing to go on. Besides making you appear bland, it kinda comes across as shady behaviour. I chat with current dating app users to get their thoughts on profiles they’ve swiped left on.
“The basics of the online dating game is to be vulnerable and put yourself out there,” says Lilith Koh, 23. “If you’re not willing to do that, it seems like you’re hiding something.”
“When someone says something vague like, “I’ll fall for you if you make me laugh”, it can be a turn-off,” says Mandy Lee (not her real name), 28. “Especially if there’s nothing in their bio about what makes them tick. How would I know what they find funny? I’m not a mind reader.”
Frank Ng (not his real name), 24, tells me he’s immediately suspicious of profiles that aren’t verified. “There’s a growing number of ‘catfishes’, and it’s easy to get baited,” he says, talking about instances where people turn up looking nothing like their pictures. “The presence of the verified logo helps to build trust. That, and having photos that don’t look like they’ve been taken on an iPhone 5.”
Too many group photos and a lack of good quality pictures are also a big no-no. The former makes it confusing for strangers to figure out which one you are. And the latter doesn’t give off a great first impression.
“If it’s all group pictures, it’s an immediate swipe left. I’m immune to the cheerleader effect, and I’m not here to play a guessing game,” Lilith says. Mandy adds that pictures don’t need to be professionally taken, but should (at the bare minimum) be recent and clear.
How to ace the dating app game
You might feel perfecting your profile isn’t worth the time and effort. However, I often think back on the moment I chanced upon my boyfriend’s bio. We could’ve easily missed matching if even just one thing had felt off. So, a word of advice: don’t let potentially great relationships slip through your fingers. Instead, revamp your dating app profile with these expert tips.
1. Pick the right set of pictures
Having three to four pictures on your profile tends to do the trick. Choose optimal ones that give users a good sense of who you are.
“The key is to upload different pictures. Aim to have at least one picture show off your interests, and one that’s close-up for users to get a good look,” advises Violet Lim, CEO and co-founder of Lunch Actually. For example, if you identify as a dog-loving caffeine fiend (like me), snap a photo of you and your furry best friend at a pet-friendly cafe. There’s so much more to draw from that than a selfie that says nothing about you or your interests.
Most importantly, make sure you use photos that aren’t blurry or heavily filtered. It’s all about effort and authenticity. “People are concerned about being catfished. If you use photo-editing apps, use it with a light touch so you still look like you,” Violet says.
2. Share more to attract more
Sure, it can feel intimidating to share so much about yourself on a platform full of strangers. But a strong bio will be the catalyst to plenty of good chats – one of which may lead to the “something more” you’re looking for.
“You’ll make it easier for people to engage with you, and be interesting and creative in how they start talking to you,” says Lucille McCart, communications director at Bumble. She suggests adding details that will help you find common ground with strangers. “No matter what you’re looking for, a profile that captures your personality will attract matches that are more likely to be right for you.”
In essence, don’t be the person whose bio says something like, “Just a normal guy from Yishun.” If you’re lost on where to begin, Violet suggests it helps to give some structure to your dating app profile. “Start with a funny opener, lead into your interests, hobbies or passions, and eventually your profession,” she says. Take note to keep that last one simple as not everyone understands industry jargon.
You can also add additional information like your zodiac sign or favourite music. A recent survey by Tinder found that music compatibility can spark new connections. Apparently, members who have their anthem on their profile experience almost 10% more matches.
Bonus tip: if you don’t like singing your own praises, Lucille recommends getting a trusted friend to write your bio for you!
3. Kill them with kindness
Avoid rambling and typing in all caps so you don’t come off as aggressive. The tone is especially important as this can be misinterpreted in many ways. For example, I once chatted with a man who ended all his sentences with multiple exclamation marks!!! It was pretty intense, so I stopped speaking to him.
Remember that as much as you should be yourself, nobody likes a snob or a bully. So lead with positivity rather than negativity. Tinder’s survey found that 77% of single Singaporeans are looking for someone who’s open-minded and accepting.
“Don’t say something like, ‘If you’re not a professional in banking, or haven’t studied overseas, then I’m not the one for you’,” Violet advises. This may appeal to some, but can be off-putting to most. Instead, focus on a light and playful tone. Violet suggests trying something like this: “Having studied and worked overseas, I’ve been told that I’m a ‘banana’ – yellow outside, and white inside. Are you someone like that too?”
“Instead of saying you’re not interested in hookups, you could say you’re looking for a relationship,” Lucille adds. “You can also make this fun. A favourite bio I’ve come across stated they were ‘casually looking for something serious’ – I thought this was so cute.”
4. Be intentional about what you’re looking for
A good question you should ask yourself while setting up your dating app profile is: what exactly are you looking for? Is it a serious relationship, something casual, or a one-night stand?
No matter what dating app you’re on, set your intentions in your bio. Most apps have these profile features in place. You can choose from six intent options on Tinder ranging from long-term to new friends to figuring things out. And on Bumble, you can use the badge tool to easily communicate facts about yourself like height, political leanings, and what kind of relationship you’re looking for.
The more information you provide, the higher your chances of finding someone who’s looking for what you want too. For example, if their profile says they want a relationship but you’re not looking for anything serious, you can move on knowing you two aren’t a match at the moment.
Slay that first date
Great job for getting to the end of this. But before you head off, you’ve still got to make it to the first date – and slay it.
“Remember that after matching, you’re still in competition with many others. On average, most singles are chatting with five to 10 people at any one time,” Violet says. So it’s not time to relax yet. Instead, be proactive and find opportunities to ask for a first date within the first three weeks of connecting. “If possible, meet in person quickly. You don’t want to end up chatting with someone for weeks or months, only to be ghosted.”
Tinder’s School of Swipe offers easy-to-remember tips to help you navigate those early conversations. This includes using your match’s name in your opening messages (and always double-checking the spelling); taking a genuine interest in their passions and asking them questions; and giving compliments on their style. Whether it’s their haircut or fashion sense, people always appreciate good comments on their looks.
I know this seems like a lot of work. But putting in the effort to amp up your bio could make all the difference. You might just walk away with a special someone to spend your life with. I mean, that’s what happened to me.
So, ready to craft your killer dating app profile? You’ve got this in the bag.
