Broke up right before the holiday season? Tough life. Our sex expert shares coping tips on how to get through the holidays as a newly single person.
Ah, the holidays. It’s mostly a time of merriment with Christmas lights, shopping sprees, and fun gatherings. But the joyous season can also be a tough time – especially if you’re newly single. Why? Well, the holidays are typically a time for family, friends, and loved ones, but when you’re newly single, you might find yourself pushing away from others, leaving you feeling lonely and isolated. There are ways to get through it by making the best of what you have and focusing on yourself.
A survival guide to being single during the holidays
1. Give yourself permission to skip holiday events
You may feel obliged to attend every holiday event and party, but it’s okay if you don’t want to. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love everyone in your life or care about them as much as they care about you. Not going out when you don’t want to won’t make anyone think less of your character or suggest that you’re not fun anymore. If anything, it’ll show them how strong of a person you are!
2. Reach out to friends and family and ask how they’re doing
When you’re newly single, it’s natural to want to be alone. The holiday season is a time for family and friends, which can be difficult after you’ve been rejected by someone close to you. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask how your loved ones are doing! There’s nothing wrong with giving them a call or sending an email – in fact, it might make them (and yourself) feel better.
3. Allow yourself to feel the negative emotions
If you’re feeling sad, angry or frustrated after a breakup, these are all valid emotions (even if they can get overwhelming at times). There’s no need to hide how you’re feeling from others who care about you. If someone asks how things are going, be honest with them; don’t worry about what anyone else thinks about your answer. In fact, if it’s tough for you to talk about it, suggest meeting up later at a time of your convenience.
Also, don’t compare yourself to other newly single people. Everyone deals with breakups differently so don’t assume that because someone else seems better than you right now, that means they had an easier time getting over their ex!
4. Focus on yourself more than usual
When going through a breakup or divorce, it’s especially important to take care of yourself during the holidays. The holiday season also shouldn’t be just about gifts or material things. It’s about being with your family during this special time of the year and reflecting on how much we all mean to each other! Take things easy. Take things slow. And most of all, keep things simple and get as much rest as you can.
5. Avoid wallowing in self-pity
This is a time when it’s easy to get stuck in the past and think about how things were before you were single. For example, it feels like everyone on your social media feed feed is sharing pictures of their kids or grandkids, or maybe your ex has been dating someone new for months now. These are all things that’ll only make you feel worse about yourself and where you are right now. Don’t do anything that makes you feel like a victim or sorry for yourself; instead, focus on doing things that make YOU happy first!
6. Do things that keep you busy and put a smile on your face
This is the perfect time to focus on your own happiness. Do things that make you feel good, whether it’s going for a walk in the park, watching your favourite holiday movie, or baking cookies. If that isn’t possible (and even if it is), try getting out of the house regularly – just going for a walk around the block or taking care of errands without having any plans will help pass the time while also keeping your mind off things.
7. Find other newly single people
As the saying goes, “make new friends, but keep the old.” There are likely others in your same situation, so use this time to connect with them. You may even make a few lifelong friends in the process. It’s also important to remember that you don’t have to hang out with them every night.
8. Don’t compare yourself to others (especially those who seem more successful)
It can be tempting to compare ourselves with other people from time to time – but this is a dangerous path that leads nowhere good! You should never judge anyone based on what they have achieved in life. You don’t know what they went through to get there, or other ongoing challenges they might be experiencing.
9. Make lemonade from lemons
Time will go by and before you know it, you’re back at the humdrum of work and life. The holidays can be a great time to reflect on the past year and set goals for the new one. Use this time to focus on your own happiness and wellbeing. Do some things that make sense for your mental health such as meditation! Whatever it is, finding ways to relax is important for maintaining good mental health during challenging times like these.
10. Seek professional support
There’ll always be people who insist that you should ‘get over it’, or you should try to move on. Though well-meaning, they might be making you feel worse! You may want to consider seeing a counsellor like myself since talking with someone trained in emotional support would help alleviate stress and anxiety while helping build self-esteem.
Own your single status like you mean it
I know it can be difficult to get through the holidays as a newly single person. Try your best to take your mind off what doesn’t serve you. Instead, take this time to reflect, regroup and recharge so you can get better. Make the best of what you have – not only will you survive but also emerge stronger for it.
So, are you ready to show who’s boss as a newly single person during the holiday season?