Fan fiction fantasy, shower playtime and experimenting with adult toys... women of all ages tell us about their very first orgasm experience.
The elusive orgasm is a toe-curling, hair-pulling, completely relaxing feeling. Yet when we’re asked to recall our first orgasm stories, coming back to where it all began can be a blur. Nothing ever really prepares you for your first experience when it comes to the big O. The whole thing can be confusing, awkward and sometimes hilarious.
Growing up, didn’t you wish someone told you it’s natural, normal and empowering? Some women discover pleasure at a young age without ever relating it to anything sexual until they develop an understanding of it. Others celebrate it as a momentous event recorded in their core memory after getting comfortable with their bodies through years of self-exploration.
Paving the way for more people to own their pleasure, nine empowered women in Singapore proudly tell us all about their first orgasm experience (names have been changed to protect their privacy).
What was your first orgasm like?
1. Better late than never
‘I was 30, at home and in bed during a pandemic, with my first-ever sex toy, thinking I should resign to my fate of never being able to experience an orgasm. I’ve been sexually active for most of my adult life but nothing I did ever hit the spot.
That particular night, I wanted to be more intentional with self-pleasuring and lean into particular sensations. Voilah! I suddenly felt this wave ripple from within and spread to all corners of my body. It was such a strange sensation but I felt incredible. It’s never too late!’ – Isabel, 32
2. Put a spell on me
‘I discovered the magic of Harry Potter fan fiction when I was 11. That’s also when I discovered the magic of orgasms! I didn’t know why it felt good reading while fantasising about some of the characters in the novel. But I’d squeeze my thighs really tight together and somehow managed to build up an orgasm by contracting my glutes. Whatever I did seemed to do the trick – it always put me straight to sleep right after.
To this day, I still do it when I find it hard to fall asleep. But I’ve traded my book for something else more magical: a vibrator.’ – Lya, 22
3. Adults ‘R’ Us
‘I must’ve been around five or six years old playing with the shower head when I first felt this strange but pleasant feeling when the water pressure pointed directly at my vulva. I didn’t connect the dots between that sensation and sexual arousal, so I continued exploring.
I started humping my soft toys at night when all my siblings were asleep. I’d experience the most delightful raptures! It felt like waves or an electric current going through my entire body, shaking me in spasms. Although I was young, I knew I was onto something good and kept experimenting. I’ve since moved on from plush toys to play with a wide variety of adult toys.’ – Jade, 40
4. Wild wild wet
‘I was 15 and lying on my bed when I decided to do some self-exploring with my vibrator. I started by rubbing the toy against my clitoris and instantly I could feel every vibration ringing through my body. It felt so good! I turned up the intensity; by then, I was gripping the edge of my bed. My stomach had bouts of contractions and I breathed heavier and heavier, gasping for air.
Before I knew it, a gush came out of my vagina. I was so shocked as I wasn’t expecting that. It was a feeling I’d never had before. I’ve seen it in porn, but experiencing that release myself was just sensational.’ – Nicole, 34
5. Gimme, gimme more
‘While I’d always dry hump my bolster, my first truly powerful orgasm was with a bullet vibrator I got from a sex toy store. It required me to use one hand to position the bullet and the other to control the speed on the dial. I’ve moved on to better vibrators now, but I’ll never forget the high of riding out an intense clitoral orgasm and the ache of wanting to go at it again and again. That’s also when I found the beauty of multiple orgasms!’ – Judy, 28
6. An oral fixation
‘I’ve always found the act of someone licking and flicking their tongue in every direction on the vulva to be strange. When I was 20, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. Although it felt scary, it was also strangely addictive. Each lick created a whole new sensation that sent waves of ripples through me. The firm pressure of his tongue on my clitoris made the feeling even more intense and he kept regulating the speed to go faster and slower.
My mind was going crazy, and before I knew it, I achieved my first-ever clitoral orgasm. Plus, I was a little drunk and I nearly clamped his head!’ – Linette, 30
7. The rush of doing it in secret
‘I didn’t experience an orgasm until I was in my late teens. I’d always wondered what an orgasm felt like, especially when my partners asked if I came. My default response was yes because I didn’t know what constituted an orgasm – sex always felt good but never mind-blowing.
My ex-boyfriend and I were at his parents’ home fooling around on the couch in the living room. The next thing I knew, we were having sex while his parents were upstairs, which was thrilling because we had to be quiet. It wasn’t anything new: he was on top of me and we were in the missionary position. But when I came, he had to cover my mouth to stop me from moaning too loudly. I couldn’t stop trembling; it felt like my body was about to give way – it was an ecstasy I’d never experienced in my life.
Since then, I’ve discovered vibrators that can get me the same orgasm I experienced.’ – Rachel, 37
8. Sweet dreams are made of this
‘I was probably 12 when I had my first orgasm, though I didn’t know what it was back then. One night, I slid my bolster in between my thighs and it felt really good rubbing up against me. The next thing I know, I was grinding it even harder, gripping it tighter, and suddenly there was a big release – like a lid just blew off a pressure cooker!
A warm sensation rushed between my thighs, especially around my vulva. I continued doing this and sometimes the orgasm was so intense my whole body spasmed during the climax. It left me feeling super relaxed after. Strangely, this discovery didn’t feel weird to me at all. I was more intrigued by it. For some time, bedtime would always be the highlight of my day.’ – Sophia, 29
9. Oh yes, the feeling’s right
‘It takes a skilled gent to know what he’s doing to give you proper pleasure. I was in my mid-teens fooling around with the school jock. We kissed and he slowly went down south. I didn’t know the feeling but it was great! That was my first time experiencing the sort of pleasure where your mind blanks out.
Fast forward to me as an adult – with more experience, I’ve learned more about my body. We may have different bodies, but if you haven’t tried oral and clitoral stimulation before intercourse, you’re missing out!’ – Steph, 46
So, what’s your first orgasm story?