Collecting donations to send to the Philippines made me realise so many things about myself and my fellow Singaporeans.
On 12 December 2021, Typhoon Rai descended on the Philippines. It went on till 22 December but the catastrophic after-effects are still ongoing. My helper’s village was one of the main targets of the typhoon. They lost everything. In the aftermath, while gathering help from friends and family to donate, here’s what I’ve learnt.
The naive, self-centred Singaporean
Aizel has been the gift that keeps on giving ever since she started working for me almost a year ago. She’s dependable, honest, respectful and always has a great attitude. She has a teenage son back home – he was the one who told her about the flood in her village after Typhoon Rai. However, it’s something that’s common for the area and time of year. So I didn’t really bother too much and grunted off the conversation till she got the hint that I was too busy to talk… but I wasn’t busy.
A couple of days later, she mentioned that the floods had gotten so bad they had to be evacuated. Somehow, in my sheltered and naive Singaporean mind, I envisioned their floods to be what we typically encounter here: knee-high waters in certain areas of Singapore, more inconvenient than life-threatening. Ponding, really.
Her demeanour didn’t show anything dire, so I feigned interest and changed the subject to, “Do we need to go to the supermarket?” She returned to her daily chores and helped with my one-year-old daughter, Lily.
How a cup of coffee changed everything
For context, I’m a radio DJ with Kiss92 FM. During the year-end period, I’m fortunate to receive media drops. That’s where PR companies send me their clients’ products in hopes I help promote them on my socials. One of them was a coffee brand. Aizel and I live on coffee; she drinks one to three cups daily. It just so happened the brand was hoping to push its initiative of having a meaningful conversation over a cup of coffee for five days. So I figured, why not.
Lily was down for her morning nap, and we both happened to be making coffee. I asked what the situation was like in her village, and the answer left me cold. Like many people my age, news comes to me via social media. My feed is mostly pop culture for my radio show. That meant news of Typhoon Rai just didn’t show up anywhere.
Aizel told me it had been three days since she last spoke to her son or anyone in her family. Her village was up in the mountains where there was no signal – absolutely nothing. She had no idea if they’d been wiped out by the typhoon or if all of them, including her brother’s newborn twins, made it safely to the evacuation centre. All this time, she had shown no signs of distress, sadness or worry. I had no idea this was going on.
Singaporeans have too much stuff!
Since December was the festive period, I had regular dinner parties with friends and families where I told them about the typhoon and Aizel’s village. Everyone wanted to give her a little bit of money to help. When they realised money wasn’t helpful because there were limits on how much each family could buy, everyone insisted on offering pre-loved clothes, shoes and food for Aizel to send back.
I thought I’d mention it on my social media as well: if any of my followers were doing spring cleaning before Chinese New Year, I’d be happy to take things off their hands. Never did I expect that in three days I’d have 120kg worth of clothes to send to Aizel’s village! It just goes to show how much stuff Singaporeans have.
We’re so privileged, it’s sickening. I was fortunate to receive bags of very lightly worn shoes, all branded – from Nike to Reebok to baby shoes from labels like Melissa. No doubt, Aizel was over the moon but couldn’t for the life of her understand why people would be throwing away “new” shoes.
We had plenty of women’s clothes that were still in bags with the tags on. You can clearly see we don’t put much thought into buying “stuff”. An online order that comes in the wrong size is too much trouble to exchange or get a refund for, so we just hang on to it or give it away. What’s $35 wasted dollars to us Singaporeans?
A good deed costs a pretty penny
Meanwhile, the clothes just kept on coming! Much like many things I start, I didn’t really think the logistics through. We bought plenty of vacuum bags to maximise space, but by now we were up to three boxes of clothes. We still needed at least two more boxes, ‘cos everything was adding up.
It cost about $200 to send each box to the village and we were looking at $1,200 in shipping costs alone. The vacuum bags were adding up, too. To friends, I mentioned how my good deed was slowly taking over my house and eating into my bank account. Within four hours, friends and some lovely clients offered to chip in for the shipping costs and everything was covered!
At the end of just three weeks, we sent over a ton of clothes, shoes and essential items to the Philippines for their rebuilding efforts. It goes to show how effortless doing a good deed actually is. Often we want to do something for others and we turn to google “where can I donate” or “which organisation should I reach out to”. But doing it yourself takes little to no extra effort!
Making the human connection
Before the typhoon, my conversations with Aizel were plenty but brief. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t annoy me a little. Most of the time, I’d be working on my laptop when she’d tell me about something cute my daughter did, or what she was cooking for lunch because it was her mother’s favourite. I’m not big on small talk so it was a chore.
But after everything that’s happened, I make it a point to speak with her as I would with my husband at the start and end of the day. I find out about her day, what she did with Lily, how her family is, and whether we think Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker are really going to get married.
Our helpers are people. They’re working in a different country alone, away from their children and family. It can be an isolating and mentally taxing change going from a big family and a strong community to a stranger’s home with no friends. It also holds a mirror to our sheltered, trivial lives in comparison.
Singapore and Singaporeans need to be reminded how lucky we are as a nation. We need to use our privilege to do good for our neighbours when help is needed. The easiest way to start is by speaking with our helpers and seeing what we can do for them. It doesn’t cost us anything to have a meaningful conversation. Often, you’ll find they don’t want to ask for more. Just for someone to make them feel less alone.
If you’d like to help with relief efforts in the Philippines, you can donate to the Singapore Red Cross or Unicef.