All the single people (all the single people)... our Editorial Director laments the world on online dating in Hong Kong in 2021
After five lovely coupled-up years, I now find myself back in the twisted world of online dating in Hong Kong (can I get a ‘yes-y’all’ from all my other homies whose relationships fell victim to the Rona?) The thing is, as with everything in the digital world, in just a few short years, the game – and that’s quite literally how people are referring to it, has changed so much, that I’m already considering investing in a mail-order groom. Here’s why.
Online dating in Hong Kong in 2021 is tough
Sometimes it’s just easier to write lists, so here’s why I’m having so many problems as I lurk on dating apps trying to find someone even to just have a drink with. Okay. Just to set the scene, I am a woman looking for a man, so the only knowledge I have on what it’s like for those of other genders and sexualities are from first-hand accounts from friends. For this reason, these are all my own observations. Also, I have only been on these apps for like 48-hours, so let’s see how these insights change over time. Or not.
1. People don’t fill out their profiles
Look. I get that loads of these apps are designed to make the visuals the most important part of meeting someone, but that’s just a design decision based on popular culture. We all know, deep down inside, that if you and your potential SO stand on different sides of the fence on topics like racism, sustainability, politics, and even Netflix genres, it don’t matter if they look like the hottest piece of meat at the market (I didn’t want to drop it, but I will: Kim and Kanye.)
I personally implore you to write something on your profile, even if it’s just a few sentences. Set the scene. Make me laugh. Tell me what’s grinding your gears right now. Then I will actually have an idea about you as a human, behind the 2D images. Plus it just makes getting a conversation started so much easier.
2. Let’s talk more about those visuals…
I’m an equal opportunist when it comes to dating. Whether you’re from Kazakhstan, Senegal, Argentina, or Japan doesn’t matter to me, it’s your inner being and how you see the world that’s important. Like I said before, the visuals are not my highest priority, but I do need to be able to see your face.
Current trends I’m seeing include, random legs in bed shots, extreme skin-correcting filters (I’m looking at you South Korean and Chinese men…), pics of pets, and my all-time favourite: photos of vehicles. Cool that you got a sweet Ferrari, bro, but how will I recognise you when we meet in the MTR?
Also, can I just say… what is it with guys who ask for more photos (I have like 3-4 on my profiles) when they only have one really bad grainy one up. LOL!? I think I will pass, mate.
3. I don’t care about your Myers Briggs results!
It’s 2021, people. We don’t even use Myers Briggs in the workplace anymore (we’re all on REACH now) let alone for dating. But seriously, the fact that you’re prefacing your profile with an ENTP or an IMFP makes my eyes roll so far back in my head and concurrently speaks to the inherent difference between men and women, though I’m sure there are ladies out there who do it too.
Side note: this test was created to help women entering the work force during WWII to see where they would be best suited. But if you want to open with results from a test almost a century old, I guess it does kind of help me get to know you… [thinking emoji].
4. The lost art of conversation
“Hi”
Could there be a more depressing message from a prospective partner? I do fill out my profile, so there’s a myriad of points for you to choose from when messaging me. I just don’t get it when you only get a: Hi?
I can’t speak for every woman or person, but I’m pretty sure that we all like it when someone takes an interest in what we like. Part of meeting someone is getting to know them and the only way that happens is with lots of deep probing questions about their past. You don’t need to launch off with a pick-up line or a lame joke, even a simple: How’s your day going? portrays genuine enthusiasm.
5. The old like-and-wait
Cool! You like me. So why aren’t you saying anything? I know that on Bumble the lady has to speak first, but this isn’t true on other platforms. Get in there and woo me with your sweet banter, for the love of Dog! A friend of mine actually said she thought maybe Bumble had done us single ladies a disservice with it’s process; and I’m inclined to agree.
Yes. Most of us gals are happy to message first, but it’s also super charming to receive a nice message from a suitor. How’s about bringing back some chivalry and brightening up the day of your current Tinder crush? I guarantee that at the very least, you will put on a smile on her face. Just don’t be creepy.
I don’t know. Maybe it’s time to bring back dating in real life. Would you attend a Honeycombers singles mixer? Let us know, and message us with your own personal dating in Hong Kong highs and lows at [email protected]. We’re here for you x
