Getting married early isn't playing house – it's a choice to grow up together. Making a marriage last requires genuine commitment. Here’s my experience.
Relationships, much like the people in them, come in all shapes and sizes. There’s no one-size-fits-all formula for love. Some swear by the magic of dating apps, while others wouldn’t dream of a swipe right or left. There are those who can’t bear the thought of a long-distance relationship, and then there are those who cherish late-night, lingering calls. Some people take their sweet time before uttering that first “I love you“. And you know what? All of these relationships are perfectly valid. Love isn’t a straight line; it’s a squiggly, messy, beautiful path that’s unique to every individual who treads on it. When I let slip that I was planning to get hitched at 21, you could practically hear the record scratch. Wasn’t I too young? Wasn’t it too soon? To many, it seemed like a wrong turn on my love journey. But let me tell you why it was the right turn for me, and why the “right” or “wrong” way to do relationships is deeply personal.
My lessons from getting married early
Why choose love over the rulebook
Marriage. It’s a big word, a heavy word. And for a lot of folks, it’s a word they’d rather put off until they’ve “found themselves” or “made it” financially. And that’s cool, no judgement here. But what about those of us who’ve chosen to take the leap earlier in the game?
When my partner and I decided to tie the knot, we had our fair share of doubters. People told us we were too young, too unstable. Some even had a good laugh at our expense. We were young, sure, but we were also crazy in love and ready to take on the world together.
Getting married early isn’t a walk in the park, but it’s got its perks. For one, you get to spend a good chunk of your life with your best friend. Even better, you get to grow up together – and that’s different to just growing old together. There’s something incredibly special about being there to witness every one of your partner’s highs and lows. You really get to know them in a way that’s raw and authentic. But the best part is seeing the incredible person they’ve become, and knowing where they started. You were there, right at the beginning, watching them evolve and grow. There’s a deep sense of pride that comes with that.
Navigating the path of young marriage
When you choose to get married early, you’re not just saying “I do” to your partner. You’re signing up for a shared adventure that will test your resilience and willingness to compromise. There will be hard conversations and mistakes made. But if you’re both willing to weather the storms arm in arm with compassion, then the challenges become opportunities for growth.
Early marriage demands real sacrifices, and sometimes this means skipping the typical, carefree, single lifestyle your peers enjoy. The benefit is you can confront relationship hurdles early, gaining a realistic view of married life faster than those marrying later. Take it from me – I had to spend the first year processing the reality of marriage since I tied the knot. But because I did it early, I now hold a much more grounded perspective of marriage than my peers in their mid-20s, many of whom are still romanticising the idea and not considering the hard work it truly requires.
The unexpected perks of saying “I do” early
Marrying young opens up a unique chapter of life where you and your partner can truly enjoy each other’s company before parenthood becomes the next adventure. It gives you the liberty to make spontaneous decisions and soak up experiences that are best enjoyed pre-kids, whether they be catching a live show, attending a festival, travelling together, or simply enjoying each other’s presence. In youth, we often have fewer responsibilities and more room for exploration. It’s a time ripe for risk-taking, for daring career switches, for dabbles in entrepreneurship. When it’s just you and your partner, there’s a certain freedom to stumble and rise again, since the fallout of failure is less daunting.
Marriage, especially when embarked upon early, can also offer a sense of purpose and direction. Without my husband, I might have been coasting through life, taking things lightly, without a clear course. But having someone to strive for, someone who shares and supports my dreams, has given me the motivation that I might not have found on my own. Choosing to marry early doesn’t mean we had all the answers. Instead, it’s gifted us ample time to shape the life we desire, and to evolve into the individuals and the couple we aspire to be.
Do I recommend saying “I do” early?
Life unfolds in its own rhythm. Some encounter their soulmate at 20; some others meet theirs when they’re 40. But if you’re in a relationship and contemplating marriage, there are valid reasons to consider embarking on this journey sooner rather than later. Getting married early isn’t a path suited for everyone, just as marriage itself isn’t a universal fit. However, the principles that underpin this leap are universal. Seize the present moment. And in a life riddled with changes and opportunities at every bend, dare to walk this path with the person you cherish the most. Finding the right person at the right time is rare. Sometimes, you might not be emotionally ready. But when the stars align, the benefits of marrying young can be immense. It demands commitment, a willingness to put in the work, even when the going gets tough. But in the end, there’s no definitive right or wrong – only what resonates with you.
