Have you been sticking to your New Year's resolutions? If your answer is "yes", that's great! But hey, if not, don't beat yourself up about it.
Is it just me, or have Christmas, New Year, and Lunar New Year all whizzed by? It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement, but also the unavoidable stress of the festive period. At the very beginning of 2023, you may have had plans to stop drinking, save money, or see your friends more. Yet, in the blink of an eye, January has already coIs it just me, or have Christmas, New Year, and Lunar New Year all whizzed by? It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement, but also the unavoidable stress of the festive period. At the very beginning of 2023, you may have had plans to stop drinking, save money, or see your friends more. Yet, in the blink of an eye, January has already come to an end – and you feel you’ve barely achieved any of your goals. In fact, over the past couple of months, you might not even have taken as much care of your mental health as you normally would; now, you’re left feeling deflated and anxious about the year ahead. But, are New Year’s resolutions always unachievable? Maybe all we need is some time to reflect upon ourselves and gain a little more clarity about our goals.
TBH, the “new year, new me” idea can be toxic
The holidays can help us put the past 12 months into perspective. As we see ourselves getting older and wiser, we also, unfortunately, become aware of our perceived “shortcomings”. With the arrival of a new year, we want to proclaim that we are done with our bad habits; the new year is a new chapter for us. This is how the idea of “new year, new me” has become a bit of a cliché. But to come to the end of the year and be so dismissive of our past self – to declare the us of the previous year as inherently not good enough, and that the new us will solve all the problems of years gone by – is rather extreme.
So, be gentle with yourself. January can be a hard time for a lot of people. As the excitement for the new year fades, it’s not the easiest time to make a huge life change. Though reflection is great, do take stock of what you achieved in the last year, as well as what you want to change coming up. Even “small” wins are worth noting!
How to make realistic changes, starting from the bottom
Although one doesn’t necessarily have to make New Year’s resolutions in order to thrive, you may still want to seize the new year to make some much-needed changes. However, bear in mind that big, lofty new year’s resolutions often focus on a goal, rather than the steps to achieve that goal. This can cause problems because if we don’t see quick results, it may discourage us and make us feel pessimistic going forward.
Another issue with new year’s resolutions is that we often set ourselves up for failure, because we don’t actually want to change. This means if your resolution is to save money, for example, do you actually want to save money for a specific purpose (such as holiday or retirement), or just because you feel the pressure from those around you? Working out the motive behind the change you want to make can help you pick apart why or if the resolution is actually important to you. And if it is, is there something getting in your way that might be helpful to work on first? If your resolution is to read more, but you’re too tired to pick up a book after work, perhaps working on your sleeping patterns might be a good start.
Make SMART goals and use habit trackers
Have you heard of SMART? It stands for specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely – and these are all useful elements to consider when trying to kickstart new habits. Once you’ve worked out what your New Year’s resolution is and the reason behind it, think about what is achievable and realistic for you. Habit trackers often come in handy, as they allow you to see when you’ve been keeping up with your new goals.
However, most importantly, remember to have compassion for yourself. If you didn’t achieve everything you wanted within the first month, consider how to modify your goals to make them work for you. Don’t beat yourself up about it! You can always change things up during the year, depending on your schedule, time, and energy levels – and that’s okay. 2023 can still be your year, even if you didn’t read 10 books in January!me to an end – and you feel you’ve barely achieved any of your goals. In fact, over the past couple of months, you might not even have taken as much care of your mental health as you normally would; now, you’re left feeling deflated and anxious about the year ahead. But, are New Year’s resolutions always unachievable? Maybe all we need is some time to reflect upon ourselves and gain a little more clarity about our goals.
TBH, the “new year, new me” idea can be toxic
The holidays can help us put the past 12 months into perspective. As we see ourselves getting older and wiser, we also, unfortunately, become aware of our perceived “shortcomings”. With the arrival of a new year, we want to proclaim that we are done with our bad habits; the new year is a new chapter for us. This is how the idea of “new year, new me” has become a bit of a cliché. But to come to the end of the year and be so dismissive of our past self – to declare the us of the previous year as inherently not good enough, and that the new us will solve all the problems of years gone by – is rather extreme.
So, be gentle with yourself. January can be a hard time for a lot of people. As the excitement for the new year fades, it’s not the easiest time to make a huge life change. Though reflection is great, do take stock of what you achieved in the last year, as well as what you want to change coming up. Even “small” wins are worth noting!
How to make realistic changes, starting from the bottom
Although one doesn’t necessarily have to make New Year’s resolutions in order to thrive, you may still want to seize the new year to make some much-needed changes. However, bear in mind that big, lofty new year’s resolutions often focus on a goal, rather than the steps to achieve that goal. This can cause problems because if we don’t see quick results, it may discourage us and make us feel pessimistic going forward.
Another issue with new year’s resolutions is that we often set ourselves up for failure, because we don’t actually want to change. This means if your resolution is to save money, for example, do you actually want to save money for a specific purpose (such as holiday or retirement), or just because you feel the pressure from those around you? Working out the motive behind the change you want to make can help you pick apart why or if the resolution is actually important to you. And if it is, is there something getting in your way that might be helpful to work on first? If your resolution is to read more, but you’re too tired to pick up a book after work, perhaps working on your sleeping patterns might be a good start.
Make SMART goals and use habit trackers
Have you heard of SMART? It stands for specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely – and these are all useful elements to consider when trying to kickstart new habits. Once you’ve worked out what your New Year’s resolution is and the reason behind it, think about what is achievable and realistic for you. Habit trackers often come in handy, as they allow you to see when you’ve been keeping up with your new goals.
However, most importantly, remember to have compassion for yourself. If you didn’t achieve everything you wanted within the first month, consider how to modify your goals to make them work for you. Don’t beat yourself up about it! You can always change things up during the year, depending on your schedule, time, and energy levels – and that’s okay. 2023 can still be your year, even if you didn’t read 10 books in January!
