From feeling torn between cultures to finding belonging in the hyphen, I share my journey as a Filipino-Chinese woman navigating the nuances of a mixed-race upbringing.
Growing up biracial means constantly confronting questions of identity and belonging. Even something as simple as a trip to an ethnic supermarket, or offhand comments from strangers, can serve as a reminder that you don’t fully fit into any one category. Racism, too, makes its presence felt in both subtle and blatant ways, reminding you that you straddle two worlds without being fully embraced by either. The complexities of multiethnic identity go far beyond ticking boxes on surveys. From an early age, the search for self in a biracial body reveals more questions than answers. Do I need to choose one identity? Can I embrace both equally? The quest to define oneself becomes one of breaking boundaries, blurring the lines that society uses to categorise. My own mixed heritage shows that identity cannot be packaged neatly into singular categories.
Growing up biracial meant embracing the blend of cultures within me
The tension of mixed identities
It’s never been simple to define my identity coming from two distinct cultures. Growing up, I can still vividly recall public remarks that assumed my Filipino mum was merely my nanny, just because my appearance leaned more towards the Chinese side. These snap judgments came thick and fast for a mixed-race girl like me. It’s a familiar tension for many biracial kids, this tug-of-war between their complex ethnic identities, often feeling the pressure to align with just one to fit in. For me, there is no singular cultural home – only a constant code-switching as I try to belong.
Caught between worlds, I’ve never been fully embraced by any one group. Despite feeling more culturally Filipino having been raised by my single Filipina mum, I never fully belonged with my Filipino relatives because I looked different from them. It begs the question: how much does ancestry dictate who we are? Am I to claim only the parts that others find easy to categorise? For biracial people, finding true belonging is elusive.
Embracing the complexity within
Don’t get me wrong; there are certainly perks for many of us with mixed-race backgrounds – such as the ability to meld into different cultures with relative ease. As a result of my ambiguous ethnic appearance, I tend to relate to others easily. But the flip side exists too. When returning to my parents’ home countries, I still feel a nagging disconnect. It shows up when locals in Hong Kong address me in English, assuming I don’t comprehend Cantonese. Over in the Philippines, people are often curious to hear my Chinese, as if to confirm my heritage. Overall though, I’ve come to embrace both the positives and the complexities of my identity. The journey hasn’t always been straightforward, but I’ve learned to accept myself, along with the unique opportunities and hurdles that come with inhabiting multiple worlds.
Moving past “either/or” thinking about identity
We’re often pressured to pick a side of our cultural hyphen, as though our identities could ever be so simple. But growing up biracial, I refuse to be shoehorned. My identity can’t be neatly packaged into a single category, nor can it be expected to tick all the boxes flawlessly. I must call greater attention to that third space – my hyphen – and demand it be recognised as valid. My heritage is a beautifully complex blend, so much more than a sum of parts. I am not either/or – I am the product of all that came before, a mixture of cultures that shaped me. As the descendant of people who persevered through colonisation’s painful legacy in both the Philippines and Hong Kong, I carry a profound history within me. My identity finds its home within that dynamic and evolving hyphen, shaped by my parents’ cultures but defined solely by myself. To all my fellow biracial folks: embrace the splendid complexity that you are. Our narratives tell the real story – identity cannot be forced into simplistic binaries. I am more than enough.
