In commemoration of the 82 year anniversary of the independent republic of Czechoslovakia being dissolved on March 14th 1918, thus opening the way for Nazi occupation following the 1938 Munich Agreement, Vinny and I would like to extend a partially discriminatory invitation to all personalities worth socially associating with, to ‘The Event’.
‘The Event’ can be known as an ‘event’ that’s lived up to the fullest potential of its meaning. An event truly becomes an ‘event’ not out of mere preparation, but as a result of cataclysmic spontaneity. A ‘big bang’ if you will. Be it in the restroom, or hidden behind a dumpster in an alleyway adjacent to the venue (TBC). Alas, how does one facilitate what cannot be pre-meditated? It is our aspiration to achieve the impossible. A skydiving threesome. Projectile pukes surpassing Olympic standards.
Now we aren’t claiming to be masters of breaching all impossibilities. We aren’t even claiming to calculate our PnL’s right (ask our first/last investors). Nonetheless, we are still grounded by our sense of reality and humbly accept that there will always be unattainable standards. Standards like – a punctual Vinny. A logical Ibby. An everlasting orgasm. We believe there are certain things that were meant to be out of humanity’s reach in perpetuity.
It’s what makes the strive beautiful.
Thus, we cannot guarantee the spark of an emotion that can last a lifetime (although balloons may prolong it for approx 8 -12 seconds), but we are adamant about creating a space that may facilitate in the creation of ‘that moment’. A moment that can crystallise a memory. A memory that can last (given today’s attention span), 6 – 12 days?
Alas, all we are truly made of – are memories.
Memories and overdue gym membership payments.
In keeping consistent with the principles behind the birth of Habouji, it is our ambition to extinguish the stench of monotony(+brief existentialism) that has so rapidly ensued our nightlife since the closure of Kilo Lounge 2.0.
It is borne out of our eccentric nature and originality to create an excursion that would resemble the components of a night out at Avenue Singapore, without it actually being at Avenue.
As a courtesy, we humbly implore close friends, colleagues, or even strangers who conflate the idea of friendship with having 86 mutual friends on FB, to abstaining from requesting for the guest list.
The revenue earned from cover charge will be funnelled to a fund solely dedicated to lifting the working class of ethnic minority from middle-income brackets.
We are currently focusing on 2 particular case studies. We will be releasing annual reports/Instagram posts as an act of transparency and gratitude for the exchange.
Cover charge will ONLY be exempted for those who’ve been admitted and discharged for COVID-19. Kindly bring down necessary documentation to validate the claim. NRIC will not be sufficient as we don’t have access to the system. We would if our IT expert – Jabari Jaffar Bin Akmal Jaffar – wasn’t on leave.
The whereabouts of the party will be released at 12pm on March 14th. The venue will span two floors, two genres, indoors and outdoors.
‘It goes in, it goes out. It comes up, it comes down.’
In addition, we will be able to take this opportunity to clink our drinks one last time with Vinny as he prepares for his exodus to Los Angeles where he shall reside for the near future. This drastic move is warranted by his hell-bent aspiration in becoming a World Class Name Dropping Pseudo Socially Conscious Kombucha Chemist/Vegan + Disciple of the Illuminati.
Thus it is our sub-initiative to bid farewell to a useless fart who has spent the latter 5 years of his life contributing so graciously to our country’s tax returns.
Ladies, get ur aprons ironed and your strap-ons solidified.
Come join us in a night as frivolous as it is magnanimous.
Thank you for your time.
In Sallah we trust.