{"id":310658,"date":"2024-12-24T10:00:03","date_gmt":"2024-12-24T02:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/singapore\/?p=310658"},"modified":"2024-12-24T12:13:44","modified_gmt":"2024-12-24T04:13:44","slug":"sex-education-singapore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/singapore\/sex-education-singapore\/","title":{"rendered":"Are Singaporeans vanilla when it comes to sex? We get educated by a sex therapist!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cAm I too bold?<\/em>\u201d \u201cWill people think I\u2019m strange?\u201d \u201cSex was always taught to be private.\u201d These are just a few sentiments I\u2019ve overheard over the years, teaching sex education in Singapore. Although not everyone feels this way, it\u2019s safe to say we\u2019re far from seeing vibrator ads on MRT<\/a> billboards. When people hear about my work, they\u2019re often surprised I\u2019m a native Singaporean. This makes me wonder: are Singaporeans really as \u201cvanilla\u201d as people say when it comes to sex?<\/p>\n

To explore this, I reached out to my fellow sex therapist and certified sex coach, Dian Handayani<\/a>, who has deep insights into how Singapore\u2019s cultural environment influences our views on sex and pleasure.<\/p>\n

Unpacking Singapore’s vanilla sex education<\/h2>\n
\"are-singaporeans-too-vanilla-about-sex
Photography: Markus Winkler via Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

To start, what does \u201cvanilla\u201d even mean? In the context of sex, we\u2019re referring to more conventional or mainstream sexual preferences \u2013 those that tend to steer clear of exploring kinks<\/a>, fetishes, or unconventional desires. It\u2019s often seen as the \u201cnorm\u201d for sexual activities, and in many ways, it\u2019s a reflection of a society\u2019s comfort zone, especially how people view intimacy and pleasure.<\/p>\n

In Singapore, social and cultural influences play a huge role in shaping how we approach sex. Dian points out that the overall sexual climate in Singapore is relatively reserved. However, this isn\u2019t necessarily due to a lack of curiosity, but rather because of the constraints of cultural norms.<\/p>\n

Personally, this is something I relate to, having grown up with a limited sex-ed experience. I remember the awkwardness of watching a film about abortion in my science class, followed by a lecture that stressed abstinence and STI prevention. For Dian, she was raised with messages like, \u201cSex and dating are distractions\u201d and \u201cDon\u2019t get pregnant or bring disease and shame to the family.\u201d<\/p>\n

Most attendees in my pleasure empowerment workshops<\/a> have shared that they were raised in households where sex was a taboo subject. It was rarely, if ever, openly discussed.<\/p>\n

The issue goes beyond a lack of sex-ed in schools, it\u2019s the absence of conversations about pleasure and emotional connection in sex. \u201cThis creates an information gap,\u201d explains Dian, highlighting how people struggle with the vocabulary and confidence to express basic desires, preferences, and boundaries, let alone anything outside societal norms.<\/p>\n

Singapore\u2019s emphasis on career success tends to overshadow personal development, leaving little room for open discussions about sexuality. Dian points out that the pressure to achieve takes priority over developing \u201csoft skills\u201d like emotional intimacy and relationship fulfilment. Our goal-oriented culture, she adds, strips away playfulness, even in intimate relationships.<\/p>\n

This mindset, rooted from a young age, often carries over into adulthood, impacting how we approach intimacy and relationships.<\/p>\n

Does sexual curiosity matter today?<\/h3>\n
\"are-singaporeans-too-vanilla-about-sex
Photography: Ketut Subiyanto via Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

As conversations about sexuality open up worldwide, curiosity takes centre stage, especially in light of concerning trends. A Durex survey found that one in two women in Singapore had unsatisfying sexual experiences. There\u2019s also a troubling rise among Gen Z being increasingly exposed to unfiltered online content that shapes unhealthy views of relationships.<\/p>\n

Singapore\u2019s traditional views on sex hold strong, adding to the challenges of opening up conversations. Did you know nearly 70% of Singaporeans think casual sex is rarely or never justifiable? And 46% see pre-marital sex as a no-go, according to a 2020 study by Institute of Policy Studies. These beliefs create a rigid societal \u201cscript\u201d for sex, one that sticks to the basics, leaving little room for curiosity or exploration beyond the \u201cvanilla\u201d norm.<\/p>\n

Shifting perspectives among young Singaporeans<\/h3>\n

Despite traditional views, I\u2019ve witnessed firsthand the evolving attitudes towards sexuality, particularly among younger generations. As Dian puts it, \u201cThere\u2019s more curiosity among younger Singaporeans. They\u2019re keen to experiment in ways that are consensual, respectful, and pleasurable for everyone involved.\u201d<\/p>\n

She\u2019s absolutely right! The influence of global culture and easier access to sexual wellness resources drives this increasing openness. Younger generations now have the opportunity to educate themselves and ask questions that previous generations could never have imagined. As they move away from traditional beliefs, they embrace alternative relationship dynamics such as polyamory and consensual non-monogamy<\/a>, fostering self-discovery and building new forms of connection.<\/p>\n

But while progress is made, there\u2019s more work to be done. Many young people still struggle with balancing conservative family values, creating tension between curiosity and a fear of judgment.<\/p>\n

Practical steps for exploring sexuality<\/h3>\n

If you\u2019re feeling stuck in a routine, Dian recommends starting with open, small conversations<\/a> about your desires. \u201cIt doesn\u2019t have to be intense,\u201d she says. \u201cStart with a small change, like a different setting, to create a space where curiosity can thrive.\u201d<\/p>\n

To enhance that connection, bring playfulness back into your relationship. Remember the excitement of exploring a toy store as a child? You can bring that sense of discovery by visiting a sex shop<\/a> together and exploring new toys or gadgets to refresh your experiences<\/a>. Play is key in relationships, sparking joy, curiosity, and fresh communication for a fun and exciting connection.<\/p>\n

For a deeper exploration, workshops can guide you through embracing new dimensions of connection. Seeing a sex coach or therapist<\/a> can also help introduce more adventurous aspects into your relationship. Ultimately, the goal is a safe space for all desires, where everyone feels respected.<\/p>\n

So, are Singaporeans vanilla?<\/h3>\n

Maybe we lean towards the safe side, but there\u2019s a genuine curiosity on sex education in Singapore that simply needs encouragement. With open conversations and sex-positive resources, we can move from \u201cvanilla\u201d to \u201cvibrant,\u201d celebrating desires that feel true for each of us. Who knows? This might be the start of a new chapter in Singapore\u2019s approach to intimacy, where curiosity and authenticity shine.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cAm I too bold?\u201d \u201cWill people think I\u2019m strange?\u201d \u201cSex was always taught to be private.\u201d These are just a few sentiments I\u2019ve overheard over the years, teaching sex education in Singapore. Although not everyone feels this way, it\u2019s safe to say we\u2019re far from seeing vibrator ads on MRT billboards. When people hear about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":107592,"featured_media":310659,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false},"categories":[25084],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nSex Education in Singapore: Unpacking the "Vanilla" Label<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Discover how Singapore's sex education and cultural norms shape attitudes toward intimacy, pleasure, and curiosity.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/singapore\/sex-education-singapore\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Are Singaporeans vanilla when it comes to sex? 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