{"id":303087,"date":"2024-10-10T16:38:37","date_gmt":"2024-10-10T08:38:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/singapore\/?p=303087"},"modified":"2024-10-10T16:38:37","modified_gmt":"2024-10-10T08:38:37","slug":"germaphobe-contamination-ocd-singapore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/singapore\/germaphobe-contamination-ocd-singapore\/","title":{"rendered":"Confessions of a germaphobe: I\u2019ve got 99 problems but cleanliness ain\u2019t one"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cHi, My name is Benita and I\u2019m a germaphobe.\u201d That\u2019s what I imagine I\u2019d say if I ever met others like me at our version of Alcoholics Anonymous. Don\u2019t get me wrong, I\u2019m no Howard Hughes (neither the billionaire nor the recluse), but my besties are Febreeze and Dettol<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what a day in my life looks like: The moment I step out of my house, I enter \u201cgermy\u201d territory, where those sneaky scoundrels reign supreme. I wipe my office table before plopping my laptop down. I have a pathological urge to clean my phone every night. After every step of the cooking process, I wash my hands. And I never touch my bed unless I\u2019ve showered.<\/p>\n

But before you come at me for my peculiar tendencies, I wasn\u2019t always like that\u2026<\/p>\n

Dirty is not a bad word<\/h3>\n
\"germaphobia
Photography: cottonbro studio via Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Growing up, I ran around and face-planted in the dirt like any kid at the playground. Camping in the middle of the forest? No problem. Makeshift \u201chole in the ground\u201d restrooms? Sure thing. Germs and anti-bacterial wipes weren\u2019t part of my vocabulary, unlike my niece, who was born during the pandemic and had a brief love affair with hand sanitiser. For a while, she was my twin flame.<\/p>\n

In my teenage years, I threw myself on questionable hotel beds with wild abandon, nary a thought spared for the germs wriggling on me. I traipsed through bat caves, plucked leeches off my skin after white water rafting, and partied next to piles of puke and sticky substances of unknown origins.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t recall when the cleanliness switch flipped, but it was sometime in the last decade or so. It\u2019s like a spotlight flickered on, alerting me to dirt everywhere.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s when I started avoiding public toilets that looked remotely terrifying, especially those in rundown hawker centres or creaky industrial buildings. On the bright side, that also meant I became well-versed in the location of Singapore\u2019s cleanest restrooms (hotels and the highest floors of fancy malls are my go-to).<\/p>\n

My new normal<\/h3>\n
\"contamination
Photography: Timur Weber via Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Did you know there\u2019s a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder referred to as contamination OCD? I probably have it, though I\u2019ve never gotten an expert\u2019s point of view. So, I spoke to Haanusia Prithivi Raj, a clinical psychologist at Annabelle Psychology, for clearer insight.<\/p>\n

She tells me it\u2019s a neurological condition characterised by obsessions (intrusive thoughts, fears and doubts) and compulsions (physical and mental repetitive actions that provide relief). A fear of contamination is one of the common presentations of OCD. When “normal fears” are amplified, they can trigger extreme anxiety in the body.<\/p>\n

This results in a \u201cfight or flight response, where we engage in compulsions to help reduce anxiety\u201d, she explains. Behaviours can include excessive hand washing and steering clear of contact with \u201cdirty\u201d things to allay anxiety.<\/p>\n

\u201cA key point to remember is that OCD thoughts don\u2019t make sense and don\u2019t follow logical thought processes,\u201d she says. Well, judging by the baffled looks I occasionally get from my family, the irrational bit sounds like me.<\/p>\n

One less problem without germs<\/h3>\n
\"germaphobe
Photography: Chamal Prasanna via Unsplash<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

On trains and buses, I\u2019d rather stumble than reach a trembling hand to the pole that\u2019s been caressed by millions of people – though it softly calls out to me with its steadiness. I fare better on taxis, though I once sat next to a hoarder\u2019s heap of junk. Oh, the stench.<\/p>\n

As I imagined invisible prickles crawling up my arm, it took every drop of self-control not to throw open the door of the moving car and fling myself to freedom. Maybe it was just in my mind, but that ride left me feeling itchy till I hit the shower.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me started on hotel rooms. I wipe down every surface – yes, even light switches. Next, I meticulously inspect the bedsheets for dirt and hair – nothing less than pristine will do. The anxiety doesn\u2019t ease until everything passes my test. On one occasion, when I discovered a suspicious-looking brown scuff mark by my arm on the bed, I slept as stiff as a log all night.<\/p>\n

At home, my obsession with cleanliness flares up, since it\u2019s my safe space. Once, I stifled a shriek when a visitor plopped down on my bed in their outside clothes. I couldn\u2019t stop thinking about those tiny germs cackling with unhinged glee while they cavorted around my mattress. So I did what any (in)sane person would do – I changed the sheets immediately after they left.<\/p>\n

\"germaphobe
Cleaning is my comfort zone.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Like the lack of logic Haanusia mentions, there aren\u2019t any rules to my chaotic penchant for cleanliness. I wash my hands after receiving every package from The Outside World but leave my bags lying around. I’m completely fine sitting in a restaurant where many have come before me. However, I die a little inside when I\u2019m forced to touch frayed menus that look like they\u2019ve crumbled under the weight of a thousand thumbprints.<\/p>\n

When the pandemic hit, I finally felt understood. One silver lining? I could proudly wipe down my entire plane seat without being subjected to strange stares.<\/p>\n

Pre-Covid, I once endured a 2-hour flight on a janky airline sitting ramrod straight without my back touching the seat because it looked nasty. Meanwhile, everyone else snoozed in complete oblivion. These days, they just give me the piteous \u201cOh dear, she\u2019s still stuck in 2020\u201d look. But hey, I\u2019ll take the side-eye as I snuggle into my sterilised seat.<\/p>\n

The dirt on contamination OCD<\/h3>\n
\"contamination
Photography: SHVETS production via Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

People tell me I\u2019m overthinking things. It\u2019s just germs and dirt, right? No big deal. We can\u2019t even see those microscopic pests. But once the thought sticks in my mind, it consumes me like a scab you need to scratch. If any of this sounds familiar to you, well, there\u2019s a warm bath waiting for you at the end of the grimy tunnel, because OCD is a treatable condition.<\/p>\n

\u201cA small but important step in fighting OCD is to recognise that the person often doesn\u2019t have control of their thoughts and fears,\u201d Haanusia explains. Naming these as OCD’s thoughts (instead of theirs) can be useful in externalising them to help the individual feel supported.<\/p>\n

Recovery will take time, but she tells me that one of the more effective treatments is cognitive behaviour therapy with exposure and response prevention, which helps to change distorted thinking patterns and actions. In breaking the cycle of obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours, you can rewire the brain\u2019s fear circuit. Repeat after me: Everyday germs may be revolting, but they\u2019re not life-threatening!<\/p>\n

\u201cA lot of people with OCD who have recovered go on to achieve wonderful things in their lives,\u201d she says. \u201cWith the right help and support, you can have a life without unnecessary fears and discomfort.\u201d<\/p>\n

Living life as a clean queen<\/h3>\n
\"germaphobe
Photography: Lucas Pezeta via Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Truth be told, now that Covid is a vague memory, I\u2019ve had a tiny breakthrough. The anxiety comes and goes in smaller waves. I\u2019ve stopped packing anti-bacterial sprays in my bag, and strangely, I don’t miss them.<\/p>\n

When my adorable niece runs to me with grubby outstretched hands and snot dripping out of her nose, I take the embrace in stride. Plus, I\u2019m too sluggish to shower every time I return home after stepping out for just a few minutes. Could that be what\u2019s keeping me from entering extreme OCD territory?<\/p>\n

These days, I\u2019m working on turning my fixation away from pesky germs so they can\u2019t stop me from living my best life. It\u2019s possible that one day I won\u2019t care as much, but until then, I\u2019ll happily keep my home sparkling clean because it\u2019s my sanctuary.<\/p>\n

Maybe next time you\u2019ll see me gingerly place my phone on a sticky coffee shop table. Now, that\u2019s<\/em> progress. In the meantime, I\u2019ll let my clean freak flag fly, so don\u2019t judge me for it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cHi, My name is Benita and I\u2019m a germaphobe.\u201d That\u2019s what I imagine I\u2019d say if I ever met others like me at our version of Alcoholics Anonymous. Don\u2019t get me wrong, I\u2019m no Howard Hughes (neither the billionaire nor the recluse), but my besties are Febreeze and Dettol. Here\u2019s what a day in my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":107486,"featured_media":303092,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false},"categories":[25084],"tags":[145475],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nCan\u2019t touch this: The life of a germaphobe | Honeycombers Singapore<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you have an irrational fear of germs or dirt? Does the obsession plague you? 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