{"id":264141,"date":"2022-11-25T17:51:25","date_gmt":"2022-11-25T09:51:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/singapore\/?p=264141"},"modified":"2022-11-25T17:51:25","modified_gmt":"2022-11-25T09:51:25","slug":"aaron-wong-interview-adult-adhd-in-singapore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/singapore\/aaron-wong-interview-adult-adhd-in-singapore\/","title":{"rendered":"A look into life with ADHD in Singapore: How getting diagnosed as an adult turned Aaron Wong\u2019s life around"},"content":{"rendered":"

Do you know an estimated three to five percent of children struggle with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in Singapore and around the world? Yet, not all of them find out about it at a young age. Many will live with undetected ADHD. And as they enter adulthood, they may encounter stumbling blocks that affect their self esteem and identity \u2013 including the inability to focus or prioritise urgent tasks, or having a penchant for impulsive decisions that can affect their careers<\/a>, relationships<\/a> and personal lives. To find out more about ADHD and its impact on adults, we speak to Aaron Wong, 34, who only received his diagnosis back in 2020.<\/p>\n

As a child, Aaron was the typical pesky kid (the kind anyone would remember from their schooling days). He recalls frequently getting punished for causing a ruckus in class, getting distracted easily, and talking to friends. \u201cI never did well in school. It was a struggle to pay attention to anything for longer than three minutes. Back then everyone thought it was normal for a boy \u2013 just growing pains,\u201d he says. Looking back, Aaron realises these were early signs of ADHD.<\/p>\n

ADHD in Singapore: Seeing the signs<\/h2>\n
\"adhd
Photography: Rhett Noonan via Unsplash<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

ADHD is commonly described as a neurodevelopmental disorder that results in problems with attention span, impulse control and activity level. You might picture a hyperactive kid who runs around and can\u2019t seem to keep still. But contrary to popular belief, there are three main types of ADHD that each present differently: inattentive, hyperactive and impulsive, and combined.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis refers to whether your symptoms are mostly presenting as inattention, like having trouble following instructions; or mostly relating to impulsivity and hyperactivity, like having difficulty sitting still; or if you present with a mix of both,\u201d explains Kaiying Sun, clinical psychologist at Hope for Tomorrow Psychology Centre<\/a>. Aaron struggles particularly with the inattentive type of ADHD.<\/p>\n

\u201cPeople with [this type of ADHD] tend to make careless mistakes because they have difficulty sustaining attention, following detailed instructions, and organising tasks and activities,\u201d says Vinti Mittal, clinical director at SACAC Counselling<\/a>. \u201cThey [also] have a weak working memory, are easily distracted by external stimuli, and may often lose things.\u201d<\/p>\n

While Aaron had the ability to hyperfocus on things that he had an interest in (like video games, the guitar and music), he couldn\u2019t regulate his attention on other activities he found boring. He could be at a LAN shop gaming for up to 12 hours, but couldn\u2019t spare more than a few minutes of attention in classes. Ironically, this ability to be completely absorbed in specific tasks is a common symptom of ADHD.<\/p>\n

Another symptom he experienced was hobby-bouncing, much to the frustration of his parents. His interests would change quickly as his brain sought stimulation. \u201cI wasn\u2019t hyperactive, but I couldn\u2019t focus on one thing at a time. I loved sports and picked up tennis. My parents bought me a racket, but after three months I was onto something new. My room was full of objects from things I tried and gave up on.\u201d<\/p>\n

Aaron remembers his school report books filled with comments from teachers talking about his need for better focus. \u201cThe nicest thing they ever said about me was \u2018he has potential to be better\u2019,\u201d he says with a chuckle. \u201cI even made one of my tutors cry because she didn\u2019t know how to deal with me. I\u2019ve felt awful about it since.\u201d<\/p>\n

Awareness is a salve for those with ADHD<\/h3>\n
\"adhd
Photography: Logan Fisher via Unsplash<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Presently, Aaron\u2019s career looks pristine on paper. The love he developed for music when young (a consistent passion in the face of many fickle hobbies), led him to dabble in the music business, concert promotion, and even influencer marketing. Having recently stepped into a new role as senior manager, digital accounts at Universal Music, you might think this life has come easy to him. However, for Aaron, it was anything but.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn professional settings like in University or in the workplace, I struggled with the simple matter of just focusing,\u201d he shares. This was apparent to him, especially during long meetings at work. His colleagues often had to repeat things that were said because he wasn\u2019t listening. Eventually, he was let go from the job because he wasn\u2019t able to deliver.<\/p>\n

This led Aaron on a downward spiral, where he sunk into bouts of depression and comparison. \u201cI was struggling to figure out why I wasn\u2019t able to keep focus or be productive like those around me. There were times I couldn\u2019t bring myself to get up and do things that were urgent, like paying an overdue bill.\u201d<\/p>\n

Things only began to click when a friend, who had been diagnosed with ADHD and executive dysfunction (and recognised the same symptoms in Aaron) reached out to him. \u201cHe told me about a support group called Spark<\/a> for people like me, and asked if I\u2019d like to come for a session,\u201d Aaron shares.<\/p>\n

Through Spark, Aaron met other people with ADHD in Singapore and listened to their stories. \u201cThey talked about what they struggled with, and I resonated with almost all of it. The inattentiveness, the procrastination, and why we do such things. It fascinated me,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

This led him to get tested and eventually diagnosed. \u201cI felt so relieved. They\u2019ve found a problem, and there\u2019s a solution. I can manage it and treat it.\u201d<\/p>\n

A diagnosis can be empowering<\/h3>\n
\"adhd
Photography: Emma Bauso via Unsplash<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

While the stigma against mental health<\/a> disorders like ADHD is lessening in Singapore, there\u2019s still a way to go. This could be due to a lack of awareness and understanding of the matter, and how to handle it sensitively. As such, the idea of getting a diagnosis can feel like a death sentence due to misleading representations perpetuated in the media.<\/p>\n

Many adults who have ADHD in Singapore may continue to live in confusion or denial. And parents may simply hope their child will grow out of it to avoid putting them through inconvenience or discrimination. But experts disagree that this is helpful. They share that those who suffer from it will not outgrow it, even if they get better at masking their symptoms.<\/p>\n

\u201cThough symptoms may no longer be displayed as prominently, they\u2019re still experiencing brain differences associated with the disorder. In other words the presentation changes, but the underlying disorder remains,\u201d Vinti explains. \u201cThey will not be able to hide the impact ADHD has on them over a period of time, and it may appear in different forms. For example, it will show in a child\u2019s school performance. And adults may be unable to hold a job for long.\u201d<\/p>\n

Instead, it\u2019s the knowledge of a formal diagnosis that can help those with ADHD understand their weaknesses and tap into their strengths. \u201cThey\u2019ll be able to take steps to manage their difficulties, and thus experience fewer problems in life,\u201d Kaiying says. \u201cWithout this understanding, they may grow to judge themselves as not being good enough, or lazy. This can have a detrimental effect on their self esteem and identity.\u201d<\/p>\n

For Aaron, the support and resources he received after his diagnosis helped him greatly. He was able to learn coping techniques to maintain focus at work, and complete important tasks in his personal and professional life.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy colleagues and bosses were also finally able to understand what was happening with me, and find ways to help me work around things,\u201d Aaron says. \u201cEven my friends said it was such a relief for them. Some of them previously thought I didn\u2019t care what they were saying when they were speaking to me, or felt that I didn\u2019t want to be part of their life.\u201d<\/p>\n

With the help of treatment, Aaron\u2019s goals now include not only being better at work, but striving to be a better partner, brother, son and friend to those who support him.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no need to despair<\/h3>\n
\"adhd
Photography: Kevin Delvecchio via Unsplash<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

If you suspect that you have ADHD, the road ahead can look intimidating. Aaron shares a few pieces of advice that helped him navigate his diagnosis. \u201cDon\u2019t be afraid to talk about it,\u201d he says. \u201cIt\u2019ll help not just you, but also your friends and family \u2013 the people who communicate with you daily. You\u2019ll be surprised how much people care.\u201d<\/p>\n

Knowing he had ADHD also improved the relationship he had with his fiancee, who pored over countless research articles to better understand it and help him cope. \u201cI\u2019ve had relationships that have failed because of this. But once we knew what it was, she made me feel encouraged, empowered and loved. If you call them your friends and family, they\u2019ll do the best they can to understand you and extend that empathy,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

Aaron also encourages you not to despair. \u201cThere will be days where you can\u2019t manage, but try to reframe your thoughts,\u201d he says. \u201cRemember you always have the next day to make things better.\u201d<\/p>\n

You should also consider getting formally diagnosed to receive the expert help you need to manage your symptoms. Treatments like medication and behavioural therapy, and even joining communities like Spark to build a support network, can set you on the right path to success in your personal life and at work. \u201cDon\u2019t forget to be kind to yourself and appreciate the strengths you have, like creativity, high energy, and spontaneity,\u201d Kaiying says.<\/p>\n

Dealing with ADHD in Singapore can feel like a challenge. But receiving the help you need will not only help you get by, but learn to thrive in spite of it.<\/p>\n

Need a listening ear and professional advice? Reach out to professional counsellors and psychologists<\/a> in Singapore.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you know an estimated three to five percent of children struggle with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in Singapore and around the world? Yet, not all of them find out about it at a young age. Many will live with undetected ADHD. 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