{"id":241488,"date":"2021-09-09T10:15:45","date_gmt":"2021-09-09T02:15:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/singapore\/?p=241488"},"modified":"2021-09-17T10:55:12","modified_gmt":"2021-09-17T02:55:12","slug":"how-often-should-couples-have-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/singapore\/how-often-should-couples-have-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"How often should happy couples have sex? Hint: It\u2019s not what you think"},"content":{"rendered":"

As a clinical sexologist<\/a>, “how often should couples have sex?” is a common question in my line of work. It\u2019s usually asked by people who wonder if there\u2019s a healthy, normal, or even right frequency. In short, people are eager to know how regularly others are \u201cdoing it\u201d. The gold standard for sexual happiness? Once a week. That appears to be the sweet spot \u2013 because enough time passes for us to start wanting sex again.<\/p>\n

The stats aren\u2019t sexy<\/h3>\n
\"how
What makes a happy couple? Photography: Toa Heftiba via Unsplash<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I\u2019ve seen American studies over the years that showed having sex more than once a week didn\u2019t make couples feel any happier. Meanwhile, those who had sex less than once a week didn’t feel as fulfilled. Age matters, too. One US survey found that people in their 20s had sex about 80 times a year, while those in their 60s saw the number decline to an average of 20 times a year.<\/p>\n

In Singapore, a 2014 poll said 27% did it one to three times a month, 22% ticked the box for one to three times a week, and 16% shared they had sex more than thrice a week. More recently, a 2020 study discovered that married women aren\u2019t having as much sex as they\u2019d like. Those aged 25 to 29 do it 3.7 times a month on average, but the number drops to 2.6 for those aged 30 to 34.<\/p>\n

Why aren\u2019t couples having more sex?<\/h3>\n

In my 12 years of experience as a relationship counsellor and clinical sexologist in Singapore, the stats sound about right. Most couples I\u2019ve worked with \u2013 regardless of race, nationality, or religion \u2013 share that they have sex (penetrative or otherwise) once a week or every other week. However, it\u2019s usually not because the desire isn\u2019t there.<\/p>\n

The most common reason why people aren\u2019t having more sex? Work. That\u2019s where exhaustion, stress and deadlines come in. And in our personal lives, we have other distractions and parental responsibilities. Mental health challenges, physical issues like illness or disability, and medication can also contribute to sexual difficulties.<\/p>\n

Yet we all know there are plenty of benefits to a sexually expressive life with your partner. Sex can strengthen your bond and make you feel desired and loved by one another. Sex is also great for your health! It can uplift your mood, lower stress levels, boost your immune system, help fight heart disease, and improve your quality of sleep and life.<\/p>\n

Happiness matters more than all the sex in the world<\/h3>\n
\"how
Ultimately, every relationship (and sex life) is different. Photography: Andres Ayrton via Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Most people wrongly assume that being a sex-positive counsellor, I\u2019d advocate a \u201cright\u201d or \u201cproper\u201d way to be sexual. My work involves supporting people to live their lives in a way that works for them and meeting them where they\u2019re at without any judgment. There\u2019s nothing wrong with a sexless relationship if both sides are perfectly happy! However, if one person is sexually dissatisfied, the lack of sex should be addressed and that\u2019s where I step in to help.<\/p>\n

At the end of the day, there\u2019s no right or wrong answer to the question of how often couples should have sex. It really depends on the couple \u2013 and the individual. Of course, other factors that can influence sexual frequency include age, health, stress, mood and sexual desires. But, no one should be telling you there\u2019s a right (or wrong) way. It\u2019s really up to the couple to decide \u2013 and prioritise sex so that it happens.<\/p>\n

Got a question about sex? DM us @Honeycombers<\/a>!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As a clinical sexologist, “how often should couples have sex?” is a common question in my line of work. It\u2019s usually asked by people who wonder if there\u2019s a healthy, normal, or even right frequency. In short, people are eager to know how regularly others are \u201cdoing it\u201d. The gold standard for sexual happiness? Once […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":107523,"featured_media":241491,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false},"categories":[25084],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nReal talk: How often should happy couples have sex? | Honeycombers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"So you've always wondered how much sex is considered \u2018normal\u2019? 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