{"id":237389,"date":"2021-06-11T15:20:44","date_gmt":"2021-06-11T07:20:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/singapore\/?p=237389"},"modified":"2024-12-16T15:35:48","modified_gmt":"2024-12-16T07:35:48","slug":"kyle-malinda-white-interview","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/singapore\/kyle-malinda-white-interview\/","title":{"rendered":"Prout co-founder Kyle Malinda-White\u2019s queer journey: From coming out to LGBTQ+ advocacy"},"content":{"rendered":"

A conversation with Kyle Malinda-White is like an adventure. He takes you on buoyant highs with his jokes and spirited personality, and he reveals insights about his life purpose and what he\u2019s willing to fight for. The 29-year-old is out and proud<\/a>. And it\u2019s hard to imagine him as a Singaporean Malay kid who grew up self-conscious and bullied by others in school.<\/p>\n

A product manager at an app-building company by day and an LGBTQ+ champion by night, Kyle has a sunny disposition, a sense of exuberance and a bubbly laugh that\u2019s wonderfully infectious and irrepressible. The avid gym buff is also the co-founder of Singapore\u2019s first LGBTQ+ social and support channel, Prout<\/a>.<\/p>\n

But first things first, we let\u2019s dive into his story.<\/p>\n

Coming out isn\u2019t a one-time experience<\/h3>\n
\"kyle
Photography: Kyle Malinda-White<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cI have quite a colourful coming out story! When I was young, I always knew I was a bit different. But I never knew what it was until I was 13. This hot canoeist walked past me and I was like, what is happening!\u201d Kyle chuckles. \u201cWhat am I feeling? What\u2019s going on?\u201d<\/p>\n

He thought he had a problem. Doubting himself, 14-year-old Kyle confided in the school counsellor. His mum was later brought into the session and cried when she heard what he had to say.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe thought it was her problem,\u201d Kyle explains. \u201cBecause she was a divorcee and there was no father figure in my life. At that point, I genuinely believed all this.\u201d<\/p>\n

After watching his mum spend the next few weeks crying at home, Kyle decided to fake it and tell her he was cured.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was the end of it. I left that part aside until a few years later when I found some queer friends and we ended up being part of this group called SG Rainbow,\u201d Kyle reflects. \u201cThat was the first time I figured out, okay, I think this is who I really am.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kyle subsequently came out to his mum two more times. When he was 18, she chanced upon things she \u201cshouldn\u2019t have found\u201d on his personal computer, and told him she always knew. She was supportive and even went with him to Pink Dot. But when she became more religious, her interactions with him turned unfriendly. Finally, at 22, he finally told her, \u201cthis is exactly who I am.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her reply? \u201cAs long as you\u2019re a good person and you do good for other people, that\u2019s all that matters.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kyle took her words to heart. That\u2019s what grounds him in his endeavour to contribute positively to the world. Now, mother and son are on good terms.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s very supportive and, despite contending with religion, she sees her love for her children as a separate entity. She\u2019s like, I\u2019ll love you regardless of what happens.\u201d Kyle grins. \u201cI consider myself quite lucky to have gotten that support.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bullied for being brown<\/h3>\n
\"kyle
Photography: Kyle Malinda-White<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Kyle speaks of his past brushes with bullying in school without a hint of anxiety. \u201cThat was quite normal for me growing up,\u201d he shrugs, going on to say he found ways to get around that by beating his tormentors in their exams.<\/p>\n

\u201cGrowing up, I was insecure about who I was and it affected my self-esteem. But I learned to find my own tribe,\u201d he says, adding that he doesn\u2019t have a problem calling people out for any negative comments now.<\/p>\n

On the topic of prejudice, he brings up discrimination within the queer community.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s this very toxic thing that happens when we take all of the bullying that happens outside into the community and bully each other to feel some sort of superiority,\u201d he muses. \u201cI always got it, being brown. I always got made fun of for my skin colour. I was told I wasn\u2019t attractive enough because of my skin colour. But it\u2019s slowly disappearing now.\u201d<\/p>\n

That being said, he emphasises that people in the LGBTQ+ community come from all walks of life, \u201cjust like you and me\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe all have the same wants and needs. We all want a place to call home. We all want family and friends that we care for and care for us. We want safety and security\u2026 and yes, we all want an MNC job!\u201d he jokes, bursting into peals of laughter. \u201cPeople think the queer community is the \u2018other\u2019 like it\u2019s a separate thing. But there\u2019s more in common between the queer and straight community than you think. We all just want to love and be loved at the end of the day.\u201d<\/p>\n

The fuel beneath his fire<\/h3>\n
\"kyle
Kyle Malinda-White and his co-founders Cally Cheung and Wakka Kong. Photography: Kyle Malinda-White<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Back in 2018, before Kyle and his co-founders launched Prout (a combination of the words \u2018proud\u2019 and \u2018out\u2019), he came to the realisation that his queer community was the one thing he was \u201cwilling to die on the hill for the next 10 years.\u201d<\/p>\n

The idea behind Prout\u2019s mission to support LGBTQ+ individuals emerged from Kyle\u2019s personal encounter with the ugly side of humanity.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I was 21 or 22, I was sexually assaulted. I didn\u2019t know who to turn to. Support in the community was hard to find at the time. So the ultimate goal for Prout is to be that guide,\u201d Kyle says. \u201cWhat we\u2019re doing is for the next generation. To give them hope, courage and support.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bringing together people from all ages and backgrounds, Prout uses its site and social channels to offer a safe space for anyone to make friends, find queer-friendly events, access resources from LGBTQ+ organisations<\/a>, match housemates and more. Even those fresh off their move to Singapore have used the support and meet-up platform to connect with one another.<\/p>\n

\"kyle
Pride merch from Prout. Photography: Kyle Malinda-White<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cOur goal is to be a conduit for people to know the LGBTQ+ scene in Singapore,\u201d Kyle explains, expressing gratitude for volunteers who help make their work meaningful and beneficial. \u201cThat\u2019s the power of the queer community. Even though we live in a system where help isn\u2019t necessarily given to us, we break that cycle by helping each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

Acknowledging that things have changed through the years, Kyle conveys appreciation for Pink Dot being the \u201cbiggest show of support and solidarity.\u201d There\u2019s more visibility now, he says. \u201cI\u2019m grateful for all the small things and all the big changes we\u2019ve made, but obviously we still need to do way more.\u201d<\/p>\n

Surfacing struggles of the community<\/h3>\n
\"kyle
Photography: Sharon McCutcheon via Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

When Kyle speaks of the queer community, you sense the zeal that echoes in his words. Housing is one issue he brings up \u2013 not just being unable to own a home together but also crossing paths with landlords who may not be queer-friendly while renting.<\/p>\n

Finding shelter for LGBTQ+ youth is another topic he mentions. There\u2019s The T Project for the trans community, but it has limited resources and a small space. And shelters in Singapore do take in LGBTQ+ people, but Kyle opines that queer youth need a place just for them.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey need that counselling support, that support from the community,\u201d he explains. \u201cIt\u2019s always been a challenge of resources. I know of friends who were 15 or 16 when they came out. They didn\u2019t come out voluntarily and they got kicked out of home \u2013 where can they go?\u201d<\/p>\n

Mental health is also a passion of his, especially with troubles emerging in light of the pandemic.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause of all the restrictions, sometimes queer people lead double lives and they have to navigate how they\u2019re like at work, how they\u2019re like at home, how they\u2019re like with this or that friend,\u201d he says. \u201cAll these pressures can take a toll. We may look like we\u2019re smiling and waving our flags in the air every Pride, but there are mental health issues happening within the community.\u201d<\/p>\n

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