{"id":236701,"date":"2021-05-28T10:54:48","date_gmt":"2021-05-28T02:54:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/singapore\/?p=236701"},"modified":"2022-10-22T02:44:15","modified_gmt":"2022-10-21T18:44:15","slug":"andee-chua-interview","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/singapore\/andee-chua-interview\/","title":{"rendered":"Growing up gay in Singapore: Andee Chua shares his personal journey from coming out to self-acceptance"},"content":{"rendered":"

As Andee Chua recounts his past, he tells me: \u201cIt was a phase of my life trying to be \u2018normal\u2019, like everyone else. I just wanted to be the same.\u201d Fast forward to now: Andee is many things, and he confidently stands out from the crowd. He\u2019s an international model, a social media influencer, a dancer, a community builder, the co-founder of Kampung Collective<\/a> and a proud gay man.<\/p>\n

Curious to find out about his queer journey, I sat down with the 31-year-old Singaporean over a video call to talk about what it was like growing up gay in Singapore<\/a>, his personal struggles, how he came out to his family and his life now.<\/p>\n

\"Andee
Photography: Andee Chua<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

A quick scroll on the multi-hyphenate’s Instagram<\/a> profile, which has a following of more than 138k, shows pictures of him living his best life with his partner. Just like any other heterosexual couple, I might add. But that wasn\u2019t always the case for Andee, who once struggled with his sexuality.<\/p>\n

Reliving his childhood<\/h3>\n

Andee knew he was different from other boys when he was in upper primary school. The feeling only grew in secondary school. Back then, he had no vernacular to explain what he was feeling. In order to fit in, he dated girls.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s more of peer pressure,\u201d he explains. \u201c[That\u2019s] the narrative I was taught. Even today, we still hear that narrative. Boy and girl get married \u2013 in Singapore, at least.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Andee
Photography: Andee Chua<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

But that didn\u2019t spare him from being bullied. \u201cThe teachers didn\u2019t respond in a way that made me feel safe,\u201d he says. Instead, he was told not to act feminine. It was the same tune at home when he confided in his family.<\/p>\n

Being the only son in the family pushed him further into the closet. \u201cAs a kid, in your teenage years, the only place you feel safe is either your school or home. And I didn’t exactly have that. There was nowhere I could feel safe. No one to talk to and share my troubles. I was confused and it was all about solving it on my own,\u201d he recalls.<\/p>\n

\"Andee
Photography: Andee Chua<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Finding solace in dance<\/h3>\n

Things started to look up in polytechnic. While he was still in the closet, Andee found a safe space to express himself. He joined the dance club in school, where he met LGBTQ+ individuals who were open about their sexuality and identity. \u201cThat was the moment… that I had a vocabulary and language to [being queer].\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Andee
Photography: Andee Chua<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Through street dance, he was able to explore himself \u2013 both the masculine and feminine side. Unlike in secondary school, he wasn\u2019t teased for being in the arts. \u201cIt wasn\u2019t an either-or situation, [like] if you\u2019re straight, you can\u2019t do this dance style. This formula didn\u2019t exist in [that] environment,\u201d he explains.<\/p>\n

With an outlet to showcase his expression, Andee slowly gained back the confidence he lost in his secondary school years. However, he was still apprehensive about being labelled as a gay man.<\/p>\n

\u201cEven though I was able to express myself on stage and surrounded by LGBTQ+ people, I wasn’t familiar with it. I couldn\u2019t come to terms with me being gay. I was in a phase of wanting to be seen as normal,\u201d he muses.<\/p>\n

\"Performing
Photography: Andee Chua<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Taking the first step<\/h3>\n

At 19, the first person he came out to was his then-girlfriend. \u201cI wasn’t entirely sure what happened but I remembered telling her \u2018I also like guys\u2019,\u201d he says. To that, she asked if he was bisexual. Wanting to come to terms with his sexual identity, he replied yes.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe word I will say is ‘liberating’. I felt a sense of freedom to be able to talk about it to people and tell them how I really feel\u201d, Andee recalls the moment with a smile on his face.<\/p>\n

Coming out to your friends is one thing. But when it involves family, the stakes are higher. Andee came out to his sister soon after, but only did so with his parents years later when the opportunity presented itself.<\/p>\n

Journeying with his parents<\/h3>\n

It all started when he shared Pink Dot<\/a>\u2019s posts on his social media platforms. His mum questioned why he shared that content and mentioned it made his dad feel uncomfortable. After weeks of pestering, he finally ripped off the band-aid on a car ride and told her she needed to accept some things. When she asked whether he was ‘one of them’, he answered yes.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe wasn’t expecting that. She didn’t want to talk about it for a while. I sent her a text, telling her about my childhood and she replied saying she\u2019d try to accept it because I’m her son,\u201d Andee explains.<\/p>\n

However, she didn\u2019t want anyone else in the family to know \u2013 not his dad nor their relatives. So Andee respected her decision, giving her time to process it all.<\/p>\n

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A post shared by ANDEE CHUA \u6ef7\u86cb (@andeecys)<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n