Want to supercharge your sex life? We’ve got tips and tricks to help you in bed.
Relationships have their fair share of ups and downs. Life challenges and family obligations can all take a toll on the romance and passion of any long-term relationship. Are you in a sex rut? Incorporating new techniques and tricks are part of what keeps sex so refreshing and intimate. To help you become a bedroom superstar, I’m sharing six essential tips to spice things up!
How to have a great sex life
1. Communicate your needs, wants and desires
Communication is important. Recognise the necessity to communicate with your partner when you feel your sexual needs aren’t met. I know people who have difficulty articulating their needs, wants and desires out of fear of hurting their partner. I’d like to suggest a reframing of your perspective. Being vulnerable and open with your partner is a sign of a healthy relationship. That’s a skill to be learned and practised. If you’re unsure, think it through, write down your thoughts and practice with a trusted friend to get your point across.
2. Come up with a sex bucket list
Many couples I know compare their sex lives to an imaginary couple that doesn’t even exist. They also compare their sex lives to their friends or benchmark it against porn. Turn your envy and jealousy into fuel! Come up with your sex bucket list and co-create sexual experiences with your partner, starting with the one that’s least intimidating. Healthy sexual expression includes curiosity, experimentation and exploration. They’re ‘whole person’ experiences within larger contexts.
3. Up your game
Besides gifts like flowers, chocolates and jewellery or experiences like staycations and candle-lit dinners, what else have you always wanted to experience with your partner? Try conversation starter decks or even sex card games. Not only are they affordable, but they also provide you with ideas to have fun and get you in the mood for sex. They’re great at facilitating conversations and igniting the spark between you and your partner.
4. Dress up… to take it off
Let go of the belief that lingerie is only meant for seduction, which will lead to sex. Take that pressure off yourself. The act of wearing something that makes you feel relaxed, sensual and amazing will prime you for more romantic times. Don’t save your favourite outfits for certain days – make sensuality a way of life. When you’re more connected to yourself, you’ll experience great sex.
5. Add sex toys to the mix
Bringing adult toys into the bedroom can be intimidating as there’s a common fear of being replaced. But items like lubricants, massage oils or candles are simply devices that help us attain pleasure. I’d recommend a bullet vibrator (named for its bullet-like appearance) or a couple vibrating ring for first-time users. The latter can help couples sync their orgasms through intelligent design for effective ejaculation that’s delayed and intense, as well as targeted stimulation of the clitoris. Simply put, this makes him last longer while pleasuring her.
6. Take it elsewhere
Most couples almost always only have sex in the bedroom. It’s not necessarily a great place to feel sexy and be frisky – some people fall asleep the moment their head hits the pillow. How about claiming your house by engaging in sex in every room, nook and cranny? You can also book staycations that have private pools or a jacuzzi and shake things up (literally)!
Hopefully, these suggestions will give you some inspiration. No matter which option you choose, it’s time to reclaim the sexy superstar within you!