Welcome to our monthly advice column: Ask and you shall receive answers from our tarot Agony Aunt.
Navigating life, love, career and everything else is hard. Sometimes you just need a listening ear and a little guidance. Enter: Ask the Oracle, where cosmic guide and life coach Kelly Lightworker helps you get answers to love, luck, money, success, and living your best life. Simply fill out this form and our tarot Agony Aunt will pick three questions to answer at the start of each month (don’t worry, you can use pseudonyms for privacy and choose to be anonymous). We look forward to hearing from you!
Card of the month: The Chariot
Things are moving this month! Our card for April, The Chariot, is our answer to the eclipses of 25 March and 8 April along the Aries-Libra axis, which (you might have noticed) can cause some intense issues with interpersonal relations and communication. Add to the mix the Mercury retrograde from 1 to 25 April, and you’ll also need to watch out for tech and travel issues. This is why we need the Chariot to guide us: the Chariot speaks of maintaining focus and direction even when we’re stressed and pulled apart by various priorities. There’s going to be a lot of noise around you, but know where you’re going, and your inner clarity will take you places. Don’t look back. Carve out regular me-time to decompress, and you’ll be fine.
This month’s affirmation: I take the wheel and direct my life for the highest good.
This month’s song: ‘Where The Streets Have No Name’ by U2
A note before we proceed with the questions: I offer special services for people who are facing situations that they find impossible to overcome. If you think you could be a match, email me at [email protected] and let’s see how I can assist you. Now read on, my loves!
Ask the Oracle: April edition
Hi Kelly,
I went into a five-year relationship with my partner and lost close friends because my partner scolded one of them. I had to cut contact with another friend so that it would not complicate the relationship.
Now that I feel a relationship should not break a friendship, I’m seeking help on how may I get my close friends to forgive me and be on talking terms so that we can mend the five years that we are apart from each other. I don’t know what to do but I really miss my friends a lot.
Full disclosure: the person who sent me this enquiry ended up booking a Tarot reading with me before their question got published. However, I still choose to answer this question because this is a common relationship issue. I’ve seen this happen many times with many people. It never ends well.
Dear YT,
If you’ve been in a relationship for some time and your partner has played a role in cutting off most, if not all, of your social connections, the first thing you must understand is this: you must choose between your partner and your friends. Either your current romance or your social life must end. There is no room for compromise because your partner has proven that they will not allow it.
About your partner: you may be aware (or becoming aware) that you’ve settled for someone who’s deeply dysfunctional, who does not understand what love is, and who thinks that being controlling, possessive and volatile will ensure a good relationship. If you’re inexperienced in love, you might think at first how exciting it is to be with someone who loves you like this! But give it time, and you will suffocate. You will gradually resent yourself, your person, and the ties that bind you. Most of all, you will grow to realise that your person probably never loved or respected you. They only loved and respected what you could offer them.
All your partner can offer you is cheap, counterfeit happiness. They’re good at playing power games. They’re good at pretending they care about you. But if they really did, they would ensure that you stay connected with family, friends and other people who genuinely care about you.
So, what to do? If you’ve read this far, you already know: move on from this insecure partner. Detox from their pathological, false narratives that fooled you into thinking you need them to be happy. Look at yourself – you’re not. Make a clean break and go no-contact. Block them from any access to you, because believe me, they will try to return (and to punish you for asserting yourself).
As for your friends – I’ll share what I told this client at their reading. Not everyone will welcome you back. Some will forgive you, some won’t. It’s their prerogative how they want to respond to you. Understand that you also played a role in alienating your friends by prioritising a toxic, controlling love interest over good folks who really cared. Take responsibility, roll with the punches, and move on.
This is a hard lesson to learn in love and life, but it’s worthwhile if you escape an emotionally abusive relationship.
I wish you all happiness.
K xoxo
Dear Kelly, I’ve been looking for love for a long time but to no avail. I am well settled with my career and myself. I’ve put in the work to improve myself and yet, the men I meet are just into me for hookups and fun. I’m not that type of person nor do I want to be one. I was raised conservatively and am saving myself for the right guy.
Unfortunately, doing so has only led to a disappointing love life because none of the men I’ve met so far are willing to wait till marriage to explore such stuff. While I’m struggling to balance between my personal choice over this matter and the lack of emotional fulfilment, it’s led me to try to force myself to do things I don’t want to just because I am convinced that it’s the only way to find love at this point. Am I too conservative? Where do I even look for love at this point? I’ve tried the apps, through friends, travelled alone and almost did everything I possibly could to find my person. It just isn’t working.
Dear S,
It is never easy to be true to yourself and your values. For that, you have my love and respect. Your cards indicate your frustration and distress. I feel you. Compromise doesn’t feel right to you, yet you understand that the competition to find a partner is keen, and you feel that you’re running out of options. If you choose this route, I encourage you to make only the compromises that you can live with. At the end of the day, the only human being you really need to please – and to live with – is yourself. Make good choices, and don’t do anything that could cause you to lose sleep.
Interestingly, your cards show that your distress will end. There is some indication that you could eventually meet viable romantic prospects. However, your timeline seems to indicate that while you’re encouraged to keep looking for love, good prospects might take some time to arrive (we are looking at two years or more). Having said that, timing in the Tarot is always flexible because it depends on our choices, so if you stay positive and proactive, you’re likely to expedite this process.
You’ve done so well and come so far. The only thing left is to be patient and keep going. The universe is kind. Don’t fall for the lie that life must be easy or else something is wrong with us. Living a good life is about choosing which challenges we accept.
I wish you happiness, love, and the fortitude to stick with your challenges.
K xoxo
Hi Kelly,
I got to know someone last August and we clicked really well. However, he got into a dire situation with work and staying in Singapore so he wasn’t in the mindset to date. I stuck around to support him as a friend and eventually grew feelings for him. In the end, things got better on his end but he ended up wanting only to be my best friend. I’m feeling so jaded, as this isn’t the first time someone I have a love interest with wants to be my best friend only. What should I do, be his best friend?
Dear Ee,
I’m so sorry to hear of this – your cards indicate your exasperation at how unfair things seem to be. Having said that, your reading looks pretty positive to me. Let’s dive in.
Your cards indicate that while things aren’t quite working out the way you want them to right now, there is no harm in being friends with this person. You haven’t really lost anything; in fact, you’ve gained a great friend. True friends are a treasure! By all means, keep this friendship. You’ll find it to be a source of great joy.
As time goes by, your cards indicate that two possible outcomes could arise: either your friend will grow increasingly interested in you romantically, or other prospects will come. My darling, your reading is crowded with romantic prospects! You do have options. Stay open to what they could be.
Your final card is interesting: it indicates that if you and your friend had rushed into a relationship, it might have ended up disappointing you. Sometimes we find the right person at the wrong time. Sometimes we’re surrounded by great options only if we’re willing to look. Right now, you’re distressed at what you perceive to be an unfair situation, but who is to say that the full, gorgeous potential of your situation isn’t going to blossom in time if you just wait – and keep your heart open to what may come?
I wish you luck, love and the joy of infinite possibilities.
K xoxo
Ask the Oracle: March edition
Hi Kelly,
I have a huge crush on my boss, Mr R. He is gentle, capable and very intelligent. I think he did try to get to know me in the beginning but I was kind of uptight. But now, slowly, I’ve grown to like him a bit too much… oops! I think he is single but I’m not 100% sure. If he is, how do I approach him? And will this actually work out? Or am I just being super delulu about it?
Hello my dear W,
There’s no way around this so I’ll give you the truth with lots of love: the Tarot warns you against doing anything about this. Your first two cards strongly indicate that this is an unnecessary risk you’re taking, with potentially adverse long-term consequences if things take unexpected turns. Do not approach him as a romantic prospect.
Your boss, from what I’m seeing in the cards, is a great guy. R is calm, stable, a wise mentor… and not the sort of person who would rock the boat by conducting an office romance. Plus, there’s another card that shows him either to be in a committed relationship or in a mindset where he desires a committed relationship. Again, he is prudent about how, where, and with whom he’ll have one.
Instead, your cards encourage you to do this, focus on showing up and performing well at your work all day, every day. Become the rising star of your organisation, channel your energies into making yourself someone R would be proud of. Build a fulfilling work relationship with R based on mutual trust and respect. Establish a solid and healthy foundation with R, the way it’s meant to be done – as colleagues, not lovers – and let the situation develop from there.
Also, there’s nothing wrong with admiring how good R looks whenever he walks by. I’m just sayin’. Enjoy your crush, but make moves only on your career!
I wish you love and success.
K xoxo
Dear Kelly,
I am currently 23 and in a job that I am not sure is for me. I am good at what I do, but I do not feel appreciated or acknowledged. On top of that, my colleagues have a clique that they keep me out of. I have come to know that they do not really like me- which is not a concern because I’m not particularly fond of them either, and I only see them for work. I have received an offer for my dream job, but I don’t start till 5 months later. Work is okay, but it can get very overwhelming when the ostracising becomes evident (which is often). How do I keep my head up for the next few months?
My darling OC,
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re being ‘mean girled’ in your current job. Thankfully, you’re leaving soon enough, so hang in there. Your cards ask that you put aside your expectations of how your colleagues should behave since it’s now clear to you that they have no intention of being cordial or professional. Once you have zero expectations of petty people, it will be much harder for them to hurt or offend you (which, as you would probably have guessed, is their aim).
Looking ahead, your cards indicate that you’ll continue to feel victimised by their unfair treatment. You’ll continue to feel stuck, taken for granted and drained by their antics. But then you have cards showing that your time here, inevitably, will end. Your suffering will end and you’ll be much happier once this change occurs.
I do believe that you have (to some extent) the power to minimise, if not eliminate, the negative impact of this clique on your well-being. It will not be easy, but take this season as a really useful life lesson on how to cultivate inner equilibrium. Don’t let the bullies shake you up too much. Keep calm and carry on as well as you can. You’ll have to be the adult in this situation – of course, if they’re keeping you out of the loop, you have every right to ask for updates and re-insert yourself into the conversation. Unfortunately, no cards indicate that direct confrontation is going to help your cause, so don’t even bother.
You will outlast this. I wish you strength and perseverance. Hang in there – your dream job is just around the corner.
K xoxo
Dear Kelly,
I am currently dating this girl but she states she’s not ready for a long term commitment. However, she’s dropping small hints of moving forward at the same time. How do I move forward?
My dearest N,
“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” – Dr. Maya Angelou
Your cards indicate that you’ve been very patient thus far, but patience is not always a good thing when what you want is momentum. It could be time, soon enough, for you to have a proper talk with this young lady. You’ll need to ask for it, and be very direct about this – no beating around the bush, and certainly no making excuses for her ambiguous behaviour.
If she says she doesn’t want to talk, you’ve got your answer. If she says yes to a heart-to-heart convo, be prepared to let her know your intentions. According to the Tarot, you would like a committed, long-term relationship because you desire the safety and stability of such a bond. That’s a perfectly valid desire to have. Own it, and don’t let anyone gaslight you into thinking that maybe you’re wrong to want a relationship.
If she’s okay with a talk and with taking this connection to another level, great. If she won’t commit or starts making excuses to leave you hanging, get ready to move forward with your life. That’s not to say that you won’t give her a chance if she decides to come back – of course, you both can still be friends – but you’re not going to give her the gift of yourself if she still can’t decide whether or not she appreciates what you can offer.
You’ll notice I didn’t say anything about a breakup. Your cards didn’t mention one. It could be because your young lady enjoys playing around in the grey area between ‘just friends’ and ‘seeing each other exclusively’. There’s also a possibility that when you choose to move forward (notice I also didn’t say “move on” – again, because this connection is so ambiguous), she’ll come forward and try to rekindle your connection with her. At some point, you’ll need to let her know that you will not be playing games any more. You both need to be clear about what you want, and then move forward from there.
Your final outcome isn’t great – it shows you feeling out of sorts, off-balance, and still unsure about what to do. Unfortunately, this is the sort of situation where you will need to be ready for all possible outcomes before you can take this step. This will be entirely up to you.
I wish you strength, clarity, and the courage to achieve what you want.
K xoxo
Ask the Oracle: February edition
Dear Kelly,
I have been the subject of bullying. Somebody out there has been deliberately trying to antagonise me daily despite having no self-benefit to gain out of the actions, other than some joy from sadism. I have tried to seek external help to no avail. Not that others support such actions but rather, there is no system to counter such actions and simply put, there is minimal empathy from the people who can help. Can I seek some advice on how to stop the bullying?
Dear GK,
Your cards indicate that you’re currently stuck in a situation where people would prefer to maintain the status quo. There’s a whole vibe of ‘if we look the other way then this problem doesn’t exist’ going on here, and I can see how frustrated and lonely you must feel. It is this lack of systemic support that ultimately limits your options to resolve this challenge.
Your cards indicate three possible strategies to deal with the bullying. First, you’ve got a card that speaks of the need for self-assertion where necessary. Know your boundaries and stand up for them. For this, be prepared that things could get unpleasant, but at this point, you already have precious little else to lose. Your second strategy is to move away from this environment: request a transfer, discuss WFH options, start looking for a new position elsewhere … decide which move suits you best, and do it. Your third strategy is a sort of follow-up to the second: pick your battles wisely and keep as far away from your bully as possible.
Your card representing the final outcome speaks of a cause for celebration with friends who appreciate you. Life is too short to tolerate poor treatment in an environment that won’t help you. The Tarot suggests that you replant yourself, and flourish elsewhere.
I wish you happiness and freedom from bullies.
K xoxo
Hi Kelly,
I feel so unmotivated and dejected with life. For as long as I recall, life has been nothing but cruel to me. I have tried my best to pull through and overcome the adversities but they seem to be never ending. I need a break but I also know that at the moment, I can’t take one. My life is just as such… one step forward, 30 steps backwards. One problem finally resolves only to have another 10 more popping up unannounced. This never-ending misery has weighted my spirit down and I have very little to no hope for the future. Will my life ever reach a place of love, peace, stability, warmth and safety? Will the cavities of my heart that are filled to the brim with misery ever be replaced with anything happy? Is it even worth it for me to stay alive at this point? What does the future really hold for me?
Hello Kivs,
I am sorry to hear of your suffering. Let’s get the bad news out of the way first: your cards clearly indicate an urgent need for therapy or counselling. You would benefit from professional support while you regulate your moods and emotions, which have been severely affected by your circumstances. Your cards also indicate that you need to work on your communication and people management skills, as situations often pop up where you feel misunderstood but can’t seem to get your point across. You also have another card that indicates a deep pessimism, a sense of isolation, and a profound helplessness in the face of perceived misfortune. However, this card tends to appear often when part of the solution requires you to change your mindset towards things. So that’s a bit of good news: the fact that part of the solution is under your control.
The good news is that you have one very positive card that’s telling you to hang in there because your current struggles are creating the foundation for future strength and success. So fight the good fight now; run the whole race; keep the faith. You will look back on this one day and laugh.
Nevertheless, your cards still strongly recommend professional help to get you over the worst of the ruts you’re struggling with right now. Strong and smart people know when to get help. Do check out the Honeycombers website for counsellors and therapists who can meet a wide range of needs.
I wish you brighter days ahead. Yes, they’re coming.
K xoxo
Hi Kelly,
I had broken up with my partner two years ago and was extremely affected by it. I have no more confidence in having any other relationship, and I am even struggling to socialise now. I have always wanted to have a home of my own with my partner and kids. But now I’m quite lost and confused about what I want in life. Will I ever get married and have a happy family of my own? Or should I just work on myself and learn to be independent?
My dear 222,
I’m afraid you’ll need to help me understand where you’re coming from. Are you saying that so long as you can find a partner, you don’t need to work on being the most awesome version of yourself? That learning to be independent is only an option, and isn’t crucial to living your best life? Are you saying that you depend on a romantic relationship to fulfil your potential and not your own self?
I suppose my point is that you can, and should, focus on becoming the best that you can be – whether or not you end up with a partner. After all, wouldn’t you want to be the best version of yourself for your future partner? And wouldn’t it be in your best interests to be independent, whether or not a partner comes along? We can’t have you putting your life on pause for a possible future spouse, can we?
Your cards say that you have so much talent within you to nurture, and so much to offer this world. So open up, work on yourself, be independent, live your best life, and flourish with joy.
At the end of the day, you see, all these things are interlinked. When you develop yourself and fully mature into your true potential, your inner wisdom will grow; so too will your ability to make good choices. Your cards indicate that if you do not work on yourself – if you see yourself as lost, confused or helpless without a partner to guide you – then you will find another partner eventually. This person could really mess up your life, and unfortunately, it won’t be all their fault. Part of the responsibility will lie with you because you did not give yourself the opportunities to grow strong and wise, and to learn how to choose a good partner. Such is life.
Once you understand and embrace your responsibility to yourself and once you become the wonderful soul you are meant to be then you can and will attract a good partner to you. Otherwise, you’re either going to stay single or end up with someone who will make you wish you stayed single.
I wish you love, and the strength to love yourself first.
K xoxo
Ask the Oracle: January edition
Dear Kelly,
I was having panic attacks regarding one major project in university and needed to be on sleeping pills, and anti-depressants for weeks. I have finally stopped taking them after about a month, but I’m worried about the results of this project as it has a rather significant weightage on my GPA. What does the future hold for me?
Dear K,
Panic attacks can be debilitating. I’m glad you got help. What you did was very wise, and I am confident that with your courage and open-mindedness, you have what it takes to overcome your challenges and win in this situation.
Your first card, The Moon, speaks of a tendency towards intense moods and emotions: you’re sensitive to your surroundings as well. These qualities are gifts. They help make you the uniquely wonderful person you are. With some knowledge and experience of how to work with and manage your keen natural intuitive senses, you will do very well. You might want to try journaling your thoughts and emotions regularly – you have one card that shows you feeling more in control of things once you channel and articulate the energies in your being. Your persistent practice and patience will certainly pay off – don’t rush your healing.
There’s a patience card here, so you’ll benefit from giving yourself all the time and space you need. Looking ahead, you do have a card reminding you to adjust your expectations of the project. You did your best within the constraints you faced. Now, be proud of how far you’ve come. Love and accept yourself unconditionally. My darling, let me share this lovely secret that comes with age: in five years, you won’t care about this project. In ten years, you’ll barely even remember this project ever existed or gave you so much pain. That’s because life will go on, and so will you. You will outlast this season of deep anxiety. You will win. You’re not feeling it right now, but trust me – you will overcome.
Now stand in your power and believe that both your healing and victory are inevitable. That’s what the cards are saying. Moving forward, learn to adapt to circumstances. Know when to hold fast and when to let go. The Universe is very kind to people who don’t take life too seriously. Your cards in the outcome position indicate a beautiful new beginning ahead. Take the leap of faith; step into the next cycle of life.
Your final card is The Sun, which is the best card in the Tarot. Success, joy, and abundance will be yours. Notice your reading starts with The Moon and ends with The Sun? The Tarot sees you. You’re going through a dark night of the soul. But no night lasts forever. My dear, your Sun is about to rise. Hang in there. I wish you healing, happiness and success in 2024.
K xoxo
Dear Kelly,
I recently nose-dived into a job that I thought was a good offer, without thinking much. Three weeks into the job, I am overwhelmed with unreasonable work. See, the workload isn’t an issue but rather the content of the work is. I have stated the truth in my resume and the company hired me knowing what my past experience was. They reassured me that I would be able to produce what they were expecting from me. But I swear, at this point, the work here is completely different and my past experience seems useless and my boss himself is unable to give me a good and clear direction. While I like the paycheck that I take, I find the work too tough for me to handle and the lack of a mentor at work makes it impossible for me to pull through. I also feel that my boss isn’t happy with my performance and might blast me for it in the coming weeks. Please help. I’m dying.
Dear Kay,
Such is life: we take risks and some don’t work out. This is a tough situation you’re in, but at least you tried. There’s no other way around this, so I’ll tell you straight: make your plans and leave. Jump ship while you can. In this organisation, only the top leadership has any idea of what’s going on, but this knowledge and confidence isn’t trickling down as it should. Middle management looks lost.
In your cards, you look terribly anxious and burnt out – the stress has led you to forget to take care of yourself, and it’s perpetuating a vicious cycle of poor performance and poor prospects. There are quite a number of cards talking about how this organisation isn’t as well-structured as it looks. As a result, tasks and roles aren’t clearly defined or fairly delegated. There’s one card indicating poor communication (people get left out of the loop quite a bit). Another card is hinting that no one actually knows what’s going on in your workplace. Some people can survive, even thrive, in chaotic environments so long as certain conditions are met, but this is not the case for you.
Nevertheless, you’ve still got an employment card here, so I am fairly confident that you should be able to find another job soon enough. The cards are saying your worst-case scenario is a six-month gap before you find another job, so you can decide if you want to stay put until the next job comes by, or take a break for a couple of months before the next job comes. For now, save up as much as you can – you’ll want to have maximum buffer funds for when you make the final leap. Nevertheless, don’t let this experience scare you away from taking risks ever again! Just remember to do your due diligence next time. The world needs more brave souls like yourself. Balance boldness with wisdom, and your future is bright.
I wish you freedom, self-care, and a new job that also pays you well.
K xoxo
Hello Kelly,
Happy New Year! I would like to enquire about 2024 with a focus on relationships. 2023 was a tough year filled with challenges in all areas but I have tried my best to juggle and handle it. What is 2023 trying to teach me and how should I move forward to fulfil my dream of having my own family? Thank you, appreciate the kind wisdom.
Dear Y,
2023 was a challenging year, with astrological transits (especially the retrograde) that hurled speedbumps at our relationships, careers, communications and finances. I’m glad you’re out of 2023 more or less in one piece, and I love how you want to learn its lessons.
Your cards indicate that 2023 had some special messages for you: one card speaks of learning how to shift your mindset and focus on what you can figure out, rather than fixate on what you can’t control. A radical acceptance of what you face can be healing as you release the burden of responsibilities that aren’t yours to carry. You’ve got the Wheel of Fortune – always a good card to see when you’re hoping for a situation to improve. So you have Lady Luck’s support to look forward to in 2024.
Interestingly, you have a couple of cards encouraging you to work on your perspective of things. There is a tendency to overthink, and (or) to fixate on things. This is possibly your mind’s way of protecting yourself by imagining various problematic possibilities and figuring out solutions to them. The good thing about solving problems pre-emptively is that it makes you feel safe. The drawback is that your perception can shape reality, and a ‘problem-solver’ mindset can sometimes lead you to focus on perceived ‘issues’ at the expense of your own happiness, well-being, and peace of mind.
Your final card urges you to embrace who you are. This card, the Queen of Wands, represents a person who’s gorgeous inside and out: charming, courageous, helpful, warm-hearted, generous, and noble of spirit. Sometimes, this card can represent someone in your life who will encourage you to adopt these qualities. I feel that once you master the lessons of 2023, you will truly come into your own, and you’ll be a joyous force to be reckoned with. As for your dream of having your own family, you have a card that strongly encourages taking the initiative, making the moves, and developing your self-confidence. You’ve got a good chance of success if you do.
What seems to be holding you back is a sense of uncertainty and anxiety over making mistakes – again, it’s the whole vibe of ‘wanting to be safe’ that’s keeping you back from going out there and fulfilling your dream of having your own family. Perhaps 2024 is the year that you’ll go all out? I hope so, and I’m rooting for you. I wish you love and the family of your dreams.
K xoxo
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