I’ve been everywhere, man
You know pleasantries in a smattering of languages, you can convert dollars to dong to dinar and sing in calculating speed, and your contact list is as coveted as a celebrity’s little black book. You are a modern day nomad and you wouldn’t have it any other way!
#1 – You need a new passport
No, not because it’s 10 years old and you hate your photo, or even because you lost it on the beach in Boracay but because you have no pages left for stamps. What’s with those greedy countries taking up a whole page for visas?
#2 – You like little bottles
We aren’t talking about cute vials of vodka and rum swiped from minibars, although you do love them too. We are talking about the teeny tiny bottles containing your own carefully decanted, can’t-live-without beauty products so you’re ready to go in a flash. It makes no sense weighing down your luggage or taking up valuable shopping space when you can pester the girls at Sephora for samples.
#3 – You are multilingual
Merci, Xie Xie, Terima Kasih, Shukran. Well done, you can say ‘Hello’, ‘Thank you’ and ‘Cheers’ in over 15 different languages, oh, and order a beer. So, you may not be able to hold an actual conversation, but a few little gems have got you a long way (not to mention plenty of drinks) so far!
#4 – You have the skills to pay with bills
Travel junkies probably have a drawer in a cabinet somewhere stuffed with baht, rupiah, pounds and pesos, a range of monies to impress even your local foreign currency exchange booth. Most travellers use a currency conversion app, but not you; you can convert your dollars to dong to dinar and then back to dollars, without batting an eyelid! Essential skills to have when haggling in the local market.
#5 – Party at your place!
Why? Because your cupboard is bursting with duty-free gin, rum, tequila and something bright blue that incredibly always gets used. With Singapore’s sky-high taxes on alcohol, you never miss an opportunity to stock up on cheap booze. The problem is you’re hardly ever home to drink it!
#6 – Your mates don’t bother with TripAdvisor
Why would they bother when they have their very own walking, talking, Facebook updating travel junkie friend! Need a brilliant tailor in Hong Kong? Sorted. The best Pho in Hanoi? Easy. The best masseuse in Bali, all on speed dial. You’re welcome.
#7 – You have no shame on a plane
Travel junkies have no time for jetlag, so discounting embarrassment altogether, as soon as you board, on go your comfy trackies and the fluffiest of socks. You cover your face in a hydrating – yet unusually margarine looking – mask. Customised earplugs are implanted and you hit dreamland before the safety demonstration.
#8 – You’re a lightweight
Whether it’s a Christmas wedding in London combined with a sweaty Bangkok stopover or three weeks trekking in Bhutan, it’s ‘Just hand luggage, thanks.’ It doesn’t matter where you’re going or for how long, a true travel junkie doesn’t waste precious adventure time watching baggage carousels go round. You stuff shoes, you roll, you substitute, you are a multitasking magician. ‘Watch as I magically transform this scarf into a top, now a skirt and now a funky turban thingy.’ Beauty products do double duty too, lipsticks become creamy blushers and a bottle of baby oil becomes a cleanser, shine serum and crazy eyebrow tamer.
#9 – Your friends have benefits
No, not like that. Due to your intrepid travel, birthday presents for your besties aren’t your usual, run of the mill H&M vouchers and lip gloss. Your friends enviously pocket hand embroidered linen pillowcases from a little Nonna in Tuscany, colourful silk lanterns from Vietnam and retro 80s earrings from the coolest vintage store in LA.
#10 – You love a map app
While your mates may be Shazaming and Candy Crushing all over the place, your most visited apps mirror a pilot’s; city maps, weather updates and your favourite, the world clock. It’s OK, you’re not weird, you’re a TRAVEL JUNKIE. Amen.