{"id":204923,"date":"2024-04-11T08:00:11","date_gmt":"2024-04-11T00:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/hong-kong\/?p=204923"},"modified":"2024-04-18T01:55:16","modified_gmt":"2024-04-17T17:55:16","slug":"is-this-a-date-opinion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/hong-kong\/is-this-a-date-opinion\/","title":{"rendered":"Is this a date? Signs you\u2019re just a buddy or if it\u2019s the real thing"},"content":{"rendered":"

Back in the \u201cgood ol\u2019 days\u201d (pre-2000s, perhaps), if you and a different gendered individual went to a fine dining restaurant<\/a> or hit up a trendy bar<\/a> together, odds were that it\u2019s a date. However, it seems like every year it gets harder to tell if you\u2019re just hanging out with a new buddy or unwittingly on a first date. With even explicitly romantic date-like<\/a> activities leaving would-be casanovas stumped when they receive a crisp high five instead of a good night kiss, the single community is now in crisis. While this phenomenon has always been a stereotype for the queer community (especially lesbians), my designated token straight friend informed me that it\u2019s more universal than I thought. As a fellow sufferer of the \u201cshe\u2019s just not that into you\u201d blues, I\u2019ve done a deep dive into how one can effectively answer: is this a date?<\/p>\n

Is this a date? Signs if you\u2019re a buddy or a beau<\/h2>\n

1. They bring a friend with them<\/h3>\n
\"is
Are you hanging out with a whole group of people? Most likely not a date (Photography: Helena Lopes via Pexels)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Listen: I have some close friends that I love hanging out with \u2013 but I still don\u2019t bring them with me on a date. While double or group dates can be a thing when directly planned out, you definitely won\u2019t bring a random third wheel if you\u2019re in the mood for romance. If the other person asks if they can bring someone along or simply shows up with another person, odds are they don\u2019t consider this an official date.<\/p>\n

2. What\u2019s being talked about?<\/h3>\n

While I\u2019m sure almost everyone has that one dating story where someone said something completely insane, you can generally feel what the situation is by how a conversation flows. For instance, if the other person talks about other people they\u2019re interested in: not a date. More generally, if you barely get asked any questions about yourself: not a date.<\/p>\n

3. What are the circumstances of the activity?<\/h3>\n
\"is
While you can have intimate friends, some activities are rarely platonic (Photography: kieferpix via Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Although the Netflix-and-chill era has made it a bit more difficult to identify if a certain activity is meant to be a date, the circumstances of the \u201chang-out\u201d can be quite telling. A sit-down meal<\/a>, especially a weekend dinner, has a high chance of being a date. A large party where you barely get to interact? Most likely not a date.<\/p>\n

4. They never touch you \u2013 or they touch you too much<\/h3>\n

Especially for first dates, even the most confident of people will probably feel a little nervous. Pay attention to how the other person physically touches you. While a kiss definitely points to a date, even small things like a forearm touch can be strangely intimate. Inversely, if they touch you too much and very casually, it may point to them seeing you more as a friend. Never underestimate body language \u2013 someone making the effort to make eye contact, touch your hand, and not look at their phone too much can go a long way.<\/p>\n

5. How are they dressed?<\/h3>\n

Even for the most casual of coffee dates, anyone is going to put some effort into their appearance for a potential suitor. If someone shows up in sweats or looks like they\u2019ve just left the gym<\/a>, it\u2019s likely a sign that this is more of a casual outing. Simple details like a slightly nicer jacket or some chic makeup can point to the extra effort put in for actual dates.<\/p>\n

6. They bring you flowers<\/h3>\n
\"red
A single rose can say a thousand words (Photography: Kateryna Kovarzh via Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It seems like the romantic gesture of bringing someone something nice (like flowers<\/a>) at the beginning of a date is starting to become less common. Perhaps because of this rarity, a big neon sign that you\u2019re on a date can come in the form of a single rose brought to your door \u2013 or any other romantic gift<\/a>.<\/p>\n

7. How do you say goodbye?<\/h3>\n

Saying goodbye to someone can often be a delicate dance that reveals a lot about relationships. If you\u2019re lucky enough to get a good night kiss, you\u2019re in the safe zone of it being a date. A high five or even a handshake? Signs point to friendship (and maybe a bit of an awkward one at that). Although a bit harder to suss out, how tight or long a hug is can give you a better picture of platonic or romantic vibes. Notice what someone says as well \u2013 a brief \u201csee ya\u201d is very different from \u201cI had a great time, let\u2019s do this again,\u201d etc.<\/p>\n

8. What happens after?<\/h3>\n
\"is
Make sure you have a grasp on the art of emojis before sending flirty texts (Photography: michellegibson via Getty Images Signature)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Now, assuming it was a date \u2013 and that it went well \u2013 what happens after you say goodbye can often help point you in the direction of a new friend or a second date. Do they text or call you afterwards and want to make plans to meet again? You may have got yourself another date! And if they communicate more sparsely and arrange for a more explicitly friend-coded activity in the future? Probably just buddies hanging out. Stopped hearing from them entirely? The good news is that it might\u2019ve actually been a date; the bad news is that you\u2019ve just been ghosted \u2013 but maybe you\u2019ve just dodged a bullet right there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Back in the \u201cgood ol\u2019 days\u201d (pre-2000s, perhaps), if you and a different gendered individual went to a fine dining restaurant or hit up a trendy bar together, odds were that it\u2019s a date. However, it seems like every year it gets harder to tell if you\u2019re just hanging out with a new buddy or […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":107588,"featured_media":204924,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false},"categories":[18024,9],"tags":[31147,23910],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nIs this a date? How to suss out the signs | Honeycombers Hong Kong<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Ever wondered: is this a date or a friendly hang-out? 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