{"id":193422,"date":"2022-12-21T10:30:54","date_gmt":"2022-12-21T02:30:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/hong-kong\/?p=193422"},"modified":"2022-12-21T10:05:59","modified_gmt":"2022-12-21T02:05:59","slug":"trying-to-say-i-love-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/hong-kong\/trying-to-say-i-love-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Why is it so hard for us to say \u201cI love you\u201d?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hong Kong\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/hong-kong\/dating-apps-in-hong-kong-popular-online-dating\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">dating apps<\/a> are hit up everyday, <a href=\"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/hong-kong\/date-night-in-hong-kong-romantic-spots\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">date nights<\/a> are the norm, and the occasional <a href=\"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/hong-kong\/love-hotels-hong-kong\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">love hotel<\/a> is booked \u2013 but how exactly is the love scene? More broadly, how much do people say \u201cI love you\u201d to others in their everyday lives? The phrase seems common enough, but some people like me find it hard to say, for a multitude of reasons. Does this sound like you, too? Read on to see if you resonate with me.<\/p>\n<h3>Is \u201cI love you\u201d easier done than said?<\/h3>\n<p>In popular culture, saying \u201cI love you\u201d is always a seminal moment: when it\u2019s between lovers, that\u2019s when the music swells and the story climaxes; when it\u2019s between family members, it\u2019s meant to affirm bonds and relationships. But in real life, I\u2019ve found that\u2019s often not the case. In fact, when it comes down to it \u2013 I rarely say the words \u201cI love you\u201d to anyone in my life.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know if my propensity to get uncomfortable with the words \u201cI love you\u201d has to do with my Asian background, or is merely a personal quirk of mine. Keep in mind \u2013 I know that my family loves me, and that I love them \u2013 but actually saying how I feel seems outlandish to me. In reality, the brunt of my \u201cI love you\u201ds are simply directed towards my dog.<\/p>\n<h3>Saying \u201cI love you\u201d in relationships<\/h3>\n<figure id=\"attachment_193424\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-193424\" style=\"width: 900px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-193424 lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/static.thehoneycombers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/12\/i-love-you-relationships-900x643.jpg\" alt=\"two rocks saying I love you\" width=\"900\" height=\"643\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/static.thehoneycombers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/12\/i-love-you-relationships-900x643.jpg 900w, https:\/\/static.thehoneycombers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/12\/i-love-you-relationships-768x549.jpg 768w, https:\/\/static.thehoneycombers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/12\/i-love-you-relationships.jpg 1400w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 900px) 100vw, 900px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 900px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 900\/643;\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-193424\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">What\u2019s love in a relationship? (Photography: Pixabay via Pexels)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>I\u2019ll say it up front: I\u2019ve never been in love before. I\u2019ve barely been in a relationship before and certainly never said the words \u201cI love you\u201d to any romantic partner. This doesn\u2019t seem rare in this day and age, and I don\u2019t think it\u2019s unusual amongst my peers either. From what I\u2019ve heard about love in relationships from others, I doubt that my potential future love story will be anything like a Taylor Swift song (well, maybe some of her later work).<\/p>\n<p>And that\u2019s why I\u2019m not the expert on when you \u201cshould\u201d say \u201cI love you\u201d in a relationship. I imagine that one would say it the moment when one \u201cfeels\u201d love, but I also know that oftentimes those words are more complicated than they seem, because they can be used to excuse negative behaviours in relationships while other times they\u2019re genuine expressions of love. Ultimately, you are the one to decide who you let into your love life.<\/p>\n<p>I also know that deeply loving someone doesn\u2019t always have to be romantic. Truth be told, most of the great loves of my life currently are platonic. The few times I say \u201cI love you\u201d \u2013 and really mean it \u2013 are to my friends and family.<\/p>\n<h3>Saying \u201cI love you\u201d to friends<\/h3>\n<figure id=\"attachment_193425\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-193425\" style=\"width: 900px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-193425 lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/static.thehoneycombers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/12\/i-love-you-friends-900x643.jpg\" alt=\"two friends from holding each other I love you\" width=\"900\" height=\"643\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/static.thehoneycombers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/12\/i-love-you-friends-900x643.jpg 900w, https:\/\/static.thehoneycombers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/12\/i-love-you-friends-768x549.jpg 768w, https:\/\/static.thehoneycombers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/12\/i-love-you-friends.jpg 1400w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 900px) 100vw, 900px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 900px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 900\/643;\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-193425\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Sometimes, platonic love is the greatest (Photography: Priscilla Du Preez via Unsplash)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>When drunk, one of the wilder things I can do is start professing my love for my friends. Saying \u201cI love you\u201d to a bunch of people I clearly already love seems typical, but then, rarity breeds novelty. In my experience, it\u2019s been easier to verbally express my love for my friends compared to my family.<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps this is due to our international upbringing versus our parents\u2019 more traditional Asian upbringing. Or maybe because they\u2019re my peers and in ways we have a more intimate understanding of each other. I always tell myself that I should express my love for my friends more often \u2013 especially considering all they do for me.<\/p>\n<p>And I suppose it\u2019s the vulnerability I feel when I say \u201cI love you\u201d that deters me from saying it often. Vulnerability makes everyone uncomfortable, but verbalising how much someone means to you should be worth it. I believe that we should all tell our friends \u201cI love you\u201d more often than we do, and it\u2019s a sentiment that I should take to heart from more people in my life from now on.<\/p>\n<h3>Saying \u201cI love you\u201d to family<\/h3>\n<figure id=\"attachment_193426\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-193426\" style=\"width: 900px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-193426 lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/static.thehoneycombers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/12\/i-love-you-family-900x643.jpg\" alt=\"Family smiling at each other\" width=\"900\" height=\"643\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/static.thehoneycombers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/12\/i-love-you-family-900x643.jpg 900w, https:\/\/static.thehoneycombers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/12\/i-love-you-family-768x549.jpg 768w, https:\/\/static.thehoneycombers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/12\/i-love-you-family.jpg 1400w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 900px) 100vw, 900px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 900px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 900\/643;\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-193426\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Families express love in many ways (Photography: Rodnae Productions via Pexels)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Saying the words \u201cI love you\u201d in Asian families is a concept that\u2019s been studied by people far smarter than me for many years. Granted, my family is much warmer than the strict Asian families depicted in media like the tiger moms in <em>Crazy Rich Asians<\/em>. There\u2019s a phenomenon of Asian families verbalising their love less than American families, but that only applies to me to an extent.<\/p>\n<p>My mum expresses how much I mean to her often and says \u201cI love you\u201d once in a while. I can\u2019t really pin my uncomfortableness on her when I\u2019m unable to verbalise my love back. The added layer of saying \u201cI love you\u201d in different languages is another factor. I don\u2019t think those words are uttered in English much around my household. For me, I feel more vulnerable expressing my love in English rather than in my parent\u2019s native tongue.<\/p>\n<p>I do feel some shame in not being able to regularly verbally express my love to my family. However, I personally feel even more uncomfortable with emotions and I often miss social cues. This does lend credence to my inability to often say \u201cI love you\u201d as being a personal quirk rather than a larger phenomenon.<\/p>\n<h3>If you\u2019re reading this, tell someone you love them today<\/h3>\n<figure id=\"attachment_193427\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-193427\" style=\"width: 900px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-193427 lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/static.thehoneycombers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/12\/i-love-you-end-900x643.jpg\" alt=\"I love you heart balloons\" width=\"900\" height=\"643\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/static.thehoneycombers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/12\/i-love-you-end-900x643.jpg 900w, https:\/\/static.thehoneycombers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/12\/i-love-you-end-768x549.jpg 768w, https:\/\/static.thehoneycombers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/12\/i-love-you-end.jpg 1400w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 900px) 100vw, 900px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 900px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 900\/643;\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-193427\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Don\u2019t be afraid to express your love (Photography: Monstera via Pexels)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>So, the theory that Asian families rarely express love verbally rings true to an extent \u2013 but this is not inherently negative. Asian families tend to express a lot through their actions rather than through words, which is valuable in itself. Plus, the words \u201cI love you\u201d aren\u2019t magic and definitely don\u2019t gauge exactly how much you love someone anyway; it\u2019s more of a helpful and heartwarming way of reminding someone of the love you have for them.<\/p>\n<p>In terms of when you should say \u201cI love you,\u201d I\u2019d love to say that you should say it as often as you can. Although there are people in your life that may already know how much you love them, it\u2019s always good to verbalise it. While I\u2019m in no hurry to get into a relationship, as right now I\u2019m prioritising the platonic loves in my life (which are just as, if not more, important), and the phrase \u201cI love you\u201d may still be uncomfortable for me, I\u2019m certainly going to try to tell more people I love them from now on.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hong Kong\u2019s dating apps are hit up everyday, date nights are the norm, and the occasional love hotel is booked \u2013 but how exactly is the love scene? More broadly, how much do people say \u201cI love you\u201d to others in their everyday lives? The phrase seems common enough, but some people like me find [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":107588,"featured_media":193423,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false},"categories":[1136,33293],"tags":[23910],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v23.7 (Yoast SEO v23.7) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Trying to say \u201cI love you\u201d in my everyday life | Honeycombers Hong Kong<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you also struggle with saying \u201cI love you\u201d in your daily life? I explore my reasons.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/hong-kong\/trying-to-say-i-love-you\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why is it so hard for us to say \u201cI love you\u201d?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hong Kong\u2019s dating apps are hit up everyday, date nights are the norm, and the occasional love hotel is booked \u2013 but how exactly is the love scene? 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