{"id":187471,"date":"2022-01-11T10:45:29","date_gmt":"2022-01-11T02:45:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/hong-kong\/?p=187471"},"modified":"2022-01-10T18:18:02","modified_gmt":"2022-01-10T10:18:02","slug":"pillowtalk-sexual-performance-anxiety","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/hong-kong\/pillowtalk-sexual-performance-anxiety\/","title":{"rendered":"How do I overcome sexual performance anxiety in the bedroom?"},"content":{"rendered":"

We all love to feel that flutter when we\u2019re attracted to someone. But, ideally, you want your knees to be weak from lust and desire, and not because you\u2019re worried about how you\u2019ll perform when the clothes start coming off. Sex<\/a> is an important part of romantic<\/a> relationships. But for those of who feel nervous about physical intimacy, it can be a cause of anxiety<\/a> and can even result in problems in our relationships. However, sexual performance anxiety in the bedroom is more common than you would think. For help, check out the expert advice from sex coach Sara Tang and relationship coach Valentina Tudose in our new Honeycombers sex advice series: Pillowtalk<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Sexual performance anxiety: How to lose your inhibitions between the sheets<\/h2>\n

\"pillowtalk<\/p>\n

Sara Tang:<\/strong> Sexual performance anxiety is a fear that you won\u2019t perform well in bed or satisfy your partner sexually. This can result in painful sex, faking orgasms, erection issues and it can cause us to avoid sex altogether. It can also make us less present and easily distracted from our partners.<\/p>\n

Valentina Tudose:<\/strong> Stress is a fact of life. It\u2019s a normal response to situations that require extra energy and focus, like being physically intimate with a partner. But it is also very dependent on our perception and interpretation of the events that triggered the stress response.<\/p>\n

If we foresee a negative outcome, we call that stressful feeling fear or anxiety. But if we feel good about ourselves, stay present in the moment and are looking forward to what\u2019s about to happen next, we call that stressful feeling excitement or anticipation.<\/p>\n

No stress sex: help for sexual performance anxiety<\/h3>\n

ST:<\/strong> To overcome a negative stressful feeling that is causing sexual performance anxiety, it can be helpful to work with a sex coach. A sex coach can help you to first identify the root cause of your performance anxiety. Whether it\u2019s poor body image or mental health issues, relationship problems or previous negative sexual experiences, there are different strategies that can be undertaken to address the issue.<\/p>\n

VT:<\/strong> For many, sex is a goal-oriented activity, so it\u2019s hard to not focus on a potential \u2018failure to please\u2019 or \u2018to deliver\u2019 on what we assume are our partner\u2019s expectations.<\/p>\n

ST:<\/strong> Overall, you will need to shift your perceptions from thinking about sex as a performance. And with it, the anxiety that you are falling short of some expected \u201cnorm\u201d or \u201cideal\u201d of sex.<\/p>\n

VT:<\/strong> Ultimately, sexual performance anxiety is a result of us worrying too much about not being good enough. But what if we switched the script and started taking advantage of that extra stress energy to be more creative, more present and more giving to our partner?<\/p>\n

ST:<\/strong> Sex is about pleasure, not performance. And great sex isn\u2019t meant to be ‘goal-oriented,’ it\u2019s about intimacy, connection and being present. So the more you reduce the pressure on yourself to perform, the less anxious you will feel, and the more likely you are to have a satisfying encounter.<\/p>\n

VT:<\/strong> After all, sex is a beautiful adventure so why waste all that time and energy being in our own head, when all the best things are happening right in front of our eyes or at the tip of our tongue?<\/p>\n

Get over yourself and into your partner<\/h3>\n