{"id":182022,"date":"2021-07-29T10:00:22","date_gmt":"2021-07-29T02:00:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/hong-kong\/?p=182022"},"modified":"2024-11-20T19:37:21","modified_gmt":"2024-11-20T11:37:21","slug":"success-in-hong-kong","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/hong-kong\/success-in-hong-kong\/","title":{"rendered":"25 and still alive: What does success mean to young Hongkongers nowadays?"},"content":{"rendered":"

With Hong Kong athletes<\/a> winning medal after medal in the Olympics (hurray!), success has been a hot topic in the 852 these days. But sometimes, I find talking about success in Hong Kong even more daunting than talking about failure<\/a>.<\/p>\n

To me, discussing success leads to confronting what I haven\u2019t yet accomplished, and worse, what I may never achieve. Where\u2019s my dream car<\/a>? When will I be able to own a property in Hong Kong \u2013 if ever? Why would anyone want to marry me?<\/em> These are questions that many Hongkongers (including myself) think about all the time. Those of you who grew up here understand what I mean when I say we\u2019ve been hard-wired to want these things \u2013 and we\u2019ve been groomed since we were young to ensure that we\u2019d have the ability to own them too, eventually.<\/p>\n

Winning at the starting line<\/h3>\n
\"athlete
Ready, set \u2013 oh, they\u2019ve already won. (Photography: Braden Collum)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The idiom \u2018winning at the starting line\u2019 (\u8d0f\u5728\u8d77\u8dd1\u7dda) emerged in Hong Kong around a decade ago, but the culture of tiger parents and their obsession with enrolling children in a multitude of extra-curricular activities wasn\u2019t exactly new. I recall going to piano lessons<\/a>, math tutorial groups<\/a>, Mandarin classes<\/a>, among a dozen others. Don\u2019t get me wrong \u2013 I don\u2019t blame my parents for sending me to these lessons. I actually enjoyed some of these activities, and I\u2019m all for enabling kids to have skills outside the classroom. I understand every parent\u2019s desire for their kids to excel so that they can get into a good school<\/a>, a better university, and finally, secure a top-earning job.<\/p>\n

In fact, I had followed this path to success in Hong Kong fairly well. I was in the elite students\u2019 class in one of Hong Kong\u2019s best private girls\u2019 schools; I managed to obtain several music and academic scholarships during my boarding school days in the UK (at another famous private girls\u2019 school, surprise surprise); I ended up majoring in music at the University of Oxford, with a choral scholarship on the side.<\/p>\n

In search of perfection<\/h3>\n
\"girl
I\u2019ve peaked \u2013 now what? (Photography: Anthony Tran)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

However, I\u2019m not happy. I don\u2019t know whether it\u2019s the media, people around me, or the voices in my head that\u2019ve been condemning my every move and denouncing my every achievement \u2013 maybe it\u2019s all three. I just know that I\u2019m never good enough, because I\u2019m not perfect. And while people say nobody\u2019s perfect, the idea that someone can always be closer to perfection than I am eats away at my self-confidence. Yes, whatever perfection is, I\u2019m not it. Every full mark I scored in my tests back at school, every competition I\u2019ve won, my diplomas, my scholarships, my Oxford degree all pale in comparison with what I haven\u2019t been able to achieve: a \u2018perfect body\u2019<\/a>, with no signs of cellulite and such<\/a>; my ambitions of becoming a world-famous musician; a dream home and a dream car, purchased with my six-figure salary. Without these, I\u2019m simply not successful enough \u2013 not yet. So what\u2019s the point of winning at the starting line when it doesn\u2019t even count? And where, even, is the finish line?<\/p>\n

Well, that\u2019s what half of me believes. And the fact that I\u2019m tearing myself down when only half of me believes in these crooked values makes me realise how agonising it must be for those who wholeheartedly take these principles as gospel. Fortunately, the other half of me has realised that this mindset is toxic. So I’m working on defining success in Hong Kong in other ways \u2013 ways that are healthier for me mentally and physically.<\/p>\n

Epiphanies about success, by a mere 24-year-old<\/h3>\n
\"woman
Celebrate small victories! (Photography: Christin Noelle)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

1. Success is not necessarily about career achievements and materialistic ownership<\/h4>\n

I mean, having a high-paying job is amazing, especially if it\u2019s something you enjoy. But that\u2019s not the be-all and end-all because, let\u2019s face it, the wealthiest aren’t always the happiest in the world. Although we can\u2019t survive without a bit of money in our pockets, morals, genuine relationships, knowledge, culture, experience, and other unquantifiable virtues are the things that truly matter. If you can hold on to your personal integrity in this chaotic society, I salute you and your success.<\/p>\n

2. Celebrate small successes<\/h4>\n

Much like happiness, success doesn\u2019t have to be a huge, unattainable thing. Success can mean mustering the strength to get out of bed today. Success can mean randomly winding up at a surprisingly nice spot for lunch. Success may be admitting to your own feelings. Success may be managing to forget about your ex for once. Allow yourself to feel contented, to feel successful, and acknowledge yourself \u2013 especially if no one is there to encourage you. You need to give yourself the strength to go on, and there\u2019s no better way to do that than giving yourself a pat on the back.<\/p>\n

3. Success is personal<\/h4>\n

We\u2019re taught to compete with others, to compare ourselves with others, and to win against others. But there\u2019s no end to this competition if you\u2019re always comparing yourself to others; you\u2019ll keep on feeling like a loser, just because you\u2019re not at the top of the world \u2013 whatever that even means. For example, from my own life, most people may think Oxford students are super clever. Yet honestly, most of us there felt like imposters, because everyone else seemed even more clever. While it\u2019s motivating to compare yourself with others, if you find yourself constantly belittling yourself against the world, it\u2019s time to hit the pause button and take stock of what you have already achieved.<\/p>\n

4. Success is shared<\/h4>\n

Some of us can be jealous b*tches sometimes. Yeah, I\u2019ll admit to it too. But instead of scoffing at our friends\u2019 gym selfies and disparaging ourselves for being potatoes<\/a>, let\u2019s learn to be happy for other people without putting ourselves down. If we can acknowledge our own successes, then that makes it easier to genuinely congratulate others on their success. Their joy adds to our joy, which creates the motivation we need to continue to succeed.<\/p>\n

What do you think success is? Feel free to reach out to us on Instagram<\/a> and share your thoughts!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

With Hong Kong athletes winning medal after medal in the Olympics (hurray!), success has been a hot topic in the 852 these days. But sometimes, I find talking about success in Hong Kong even more daunting than talking about failure. To me, discussing success leads to confronting what I haven\u2019t yet accomplished, and worse, what […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":107518,"featured_media":182025,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false},"categories":[1136,33293,18024,9],"tags":[31147,23910],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhat does success in Hong Kong look like? | Honeycombers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Hard-wired to come out on top, my parents groomed me for success in Hong Kong. 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