{"id":180397,"date":"2021-06-07T10:36:29","date_gmt":"2021-06-07T02:36:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/hong-kong\/?p=180397"},"modified":"2021-06-07T10:36:29","modified_gmt":"2021-06-07T02:36:29","slug":"taura-edgar-founder-talk-hong-kong-interview","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thehoneycombers.com\/hong-kong\/taura-edgar-founder-talk-hong-kong-interview\/","title":{"rendered":"Taura Edgar, Founder of TALK Hong Kong, chats on how the organisation supports survivors of childhood sexual abuse"},"content":{"rendered":"

When it comes to living with trauma or illness of any type, it\u2019s often the survivors who have the biggest ability to champion a space for others to share their stories and for changes to be made in the wider community. And that\u2019s exactly what Taura Edgar, Founder of TALK did when she launched the project back in 2019. Two years on, and she and the team not only help people with regular meetings (in a space generously provided by The Wild Lot<\/a>) and access to resources, but they\u2019re also advising on changes to laws, sentencing, and collecting data so that the issue can be better understood in Hong Kong.<\/p>\n

Meet Taura Edgar<\/h3>\n

Taura Edgar has an effervescent personality that comes across as soon as we meet. She\u2019s eager to tell the story of TALK and equally asserts how important it is for us to cover the topic sensitively and correctly, quickly pointing out that she herself is not a mental health professional. But while she may not have a psychology degree, she has lived experience, putting her in the perfect position to advocate for other survivors and to help make changes in the way that criminals are prosecuted in Hong Kong.<\/p>\n

A few definitions to be clear on below before beginning:<\/h4>\n

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)<\/strong>: refers to a single traumatic event, or possibly similar events that happen in a short time frame.
\nComplex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD)<\/strong>: refers to the traumas the individual experienced, as being long-standing and often occurring in childhood.<\/p>\n

Thanks so much fo chatting with us, Taura. Tell me a little about how TALK came into being?<\/h3>\n

I\u2019ve been in therapy for years and years for all kinds of things: depression, anger management, etc. and it took till my mid forties to deal directly with my own personal abuse. At some point, my therapist\u2013who was absolutely fantastic!, kind of winked at me and said: \u201cI think you should go and find some kind of support group.\u201d<\/p>\n

And I was hoping she\u2019d just tell me where to go. But I went back a few weeks later because I realised there were none, at least in English. And she gave me another wink and said: \u201cWell, maybe you\u2019ll think about doing something about that one day.\u201d<\/p>\n

I felt terrified. How could I possibly be the right person to do that? But I started researching the possibility and to see how I would go about it in a responsible way; I\u2019d be inviting people into a room to say some of the most difficult things they\u2019d ever said after-all.<\/p>\n

Like many people starting a passion project, I just assumed there\u2019d be an expert somewhere focussing on the area of childhood sexual abuse, but there\u2019s really not. And that\u2019s what I wanted to focus on as that\u2019s my own background and where the biggest gap in education is.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

How do the meetings run?<\/h3>\n

When one of my friends and I were talking about it, he said: \u201cYou should really go to a 12-step meeting\u201d (they have open meetings), and that was a great experience; to feel what that fellowship was like. Even if you have nothing else in common with people in that room, you have one really big thing that lets you share some of the really big pains, and the big successes in a way that, maybe, only they\u2019ll understand.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d say many of the people in our group are over 40 who have really taken until now to be able to meet that part of their childhood head on and to work through it a bit. We do get some really young people too, and I think that\u2019s amazing. I sometimes think: imagine if I had worked through this earlier?! My god, how my life would have been different.<\/p>\n

Tell me about the very first meeting<\/h3>\n

In the very beginning, I was just focussed on getting my shit together to do the monthly meetings and to make sure I could handle that on an emotional level. That was a fear. But I was fine.<\/p>\n

Actually, for the first meeting, nobody showed up. How do you recruit sexually abused people to join you in a room they don\u2019t know when they don\u2019t know you? (laughs) It takes some time.<\/p>\n

I just kind of said to myself that if I was going to do this, I had to just show up in that room every month. And people started coming one-by-one, which was also its own kind of weirdness. It\u2019s such a painful topic to talk about out loud.<\/p>\n

So things sort of slowly built up. It took me a year to open the Facebook page because I thought: can I handle interacting in that way? I was conscious of guarding my own mental health, but everything has turned out really well; it\u2019s gratifying.<\/p>\n

A large group for us is six people, but a lot of these people are talking about this for the very first time. So it\u2019s this precious thing of being able to talk to people who understand fairly easily and can share things they\u2019ve found helpful.<\/p>\n

The focus of the group is: how is this affecting your life right now, and what are you doing to cope with it. We\u2019re all about that forward movement in a really helpful way. It\u2019s not necessarily about: tell me every single nasty detail that happened to you, though sometimes that comes out too.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s so nice to see people give that big sigh after sharing. It\u2019s not that everything\u2019s fixed, but they have some relief.<\/p>\n

What can happen when trauma like this is not dealt with?<\/h3>\n

In my own experience, I feel like unaddressed trauma is kind of an underlying epidemic. In the medical world, they\u2019re just starting to address the physical effects of PTSD and C-PTSD.<\/p>\n

I think survivors of childhood sexual abuse have stories about going to therapy for depression, feeling suicidal, or anger management, but once you actually get to the main driver for all these things, there\u2019s this sense of relief.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not always the act itself that affects people the most, it\u2019s that loss of trust. When the people who are meant to be protecting you the most don\u2019t; how do you deal with that? But as a child, it\u2019s your normality. So how do you know that this isn\u2019t right? You probably know that something isn\u2019t right, but it\u2019s quite a process as an adult to realise maybe not everybody reacts to things that way and why is it I do.<\/p>\n

What would you say to someone who is interested in joining a meeting but not feeling quite ready?<\/h3>\n

I\u2019m always sure that I\u2019m there at least a half hour before, so if people want to drop by, and just say hi, that\u2019s totally fine. And even though it\u2019s called TALK, we do say right at the very beginning: if today\u2019s not your day, you can just sit and listen. You never need to say your name or share any details of what happened; you can just be, if that\u2019s helpful to you.<\/p>\n

Do you have any tips for friends and family who may be trying to support a survivor of childhood sexual abuse?<\/h3>\n

Trust and time. You can\u2019t push someone to be someone they\u2019re not. Choice is something that\u2019s really important. Even if you\u2019d like to drag them to a GP or therapist today, unless they\u2019re in immediate physical danger, patience might be the better angle.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been in therapy myself, and I know that one of the most important things is finding someone who you gel with. For childhood sexual abuse survivors, I imagine that this is even more difficult. What tips would you give for people looking for a therapist?<\/h3>\n

Firstly, therapy is a choice. You need to make that decision for yourself.<\/p>\n

Second, it\u2019s good to find a trauma-informed therapist; someone who specialises in this kind of treatment and can support you. I\u2019ve heard stories of people seeing therapists who had trouble dealing personally with what they\u2019d been told and also stories about therapists almost blaming the survivor, and because in Hong Kong there\u2019s no regulation and ongoing training, it\u2019s even more important to find the right person.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Along with the meetings, you also work in advocacy and research. Tell us a bit more about that.<\/h3>\n

About a year ago, I realised that the Hong Kong LRC (Law Reform Committee) had been reviewing a whole host of things around sexual offences for like 14 years; everything from the types of offences that are on the law books to sentencing. And they open a period of public consultation. We ended up getting in touch with HKU Law Department and we got connected with two people there who have been absolutely fantastic and they\u2019ve helped us formulate the legal angle to our submission.<\/p>\n

So that was an amazing experience. And what we learned from that process also is just that, that dearth of statistics here means that LEGCO, the police department, social welfare department, educators, etc. have little idea about the prevalence of child sexual abuse here.<\/p>\n

So if you don’t know the prevalence, what’s your motivation to do anything about it? Why as a school would you ask for more funding for education? If you think it’s one in a million, it’s not. It’s more like one in 10, maybe one in seven girls who have been sexually abused in some way.<\/p>\n

In other jurisdictions like the UK and the US there are NGOs that focus on this a lot and work with the data to try to help all the stakeholders make sense of what’s really going on; what we know and what we don\u2019t know. So that\u2019s the project we\u2019re on now.<\/p>\n

And we’re just at the beginning of sucking in all that data. Over the course of the year, we will be releasing statistical stuff about reported versus unreported cases. It’s a complicated task, but it needs to be done, and I’m super excited to do it.<\/p>\n

Find out more about TALK Hong Kong<\/a> here<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When it comes to living with trauma or illness of any type, it\u2019s often the survivors who have the biggest ability to champion a space for others to share their stories and for changes to be made in the wider community. And that\u2019s exactly what Taura Edgar, Founder of TALK did when she launched the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":103644,"featured_media":180398,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false},"categories":[33293,18024,18056,9],"tags":[31147],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nTaura Edgar chats about TALK Hong Kong | Honeycombers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Founded by Taura Edgar in 2019, TALK Hong Kong is an organisation for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. 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